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You Might Be A Redneck If Quotes

RELATED QUOTES

"You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck" - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!" - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light" - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right" - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck" - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?" - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice." - Jeff Foxworthy



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