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Wallet Quotes

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"The inside of my wallet is pasture(past your) green." - Drake

"Carry your most important goal in your wallet"." - Jack Canfield

"My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'" - Henny Youngman

"Good art is in the wallet of the beholder." - Kathy Lette

"Generosity is a function of the heart, not the wallet." - Wayne Dyer

"It tastes like somebody stole my wallet. Ya know?" - Gerard Way

"The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet." - Frank Dane

"It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky..." - Mitch Hedberg

"An alcoholic will steal your wallet and lie to you. A drug addict will steal your wallet and then help you look for it." - David Sheff

"Take the money in your wallet and invest it in your mind. And in return, your mind will fill up your wallet!" - Benjamin Franklin

"I have a picture I keep in my wallet of my father's corpse... I keep that picture in my wallet to show people who show me baby pictures." - Doug Stanhope

"Bert's wallet is like an onion. Any time he opens it, he starts crying." - Brendan Morrison

"I have found the most valuable thing in my wallet is my library card." - Laura Bush

"In the kingdome of a cheater the wallet is carried before." - George Herbert

"When Congress talks of tax reform, grab your wallet and run for cover." - Steve Symms

"I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms." - Aziz Ansari

"The most valuable thing in my wallet is my library card." - Michael Lipsey

"Every one has his faults: but we do not see the wallet on our own backs." - Gaius Valerius Catullus

"Street performers, homemade crafts, keep your wallet in your front pocket and don't buy any crap!" - Camryn Manheim

"I don't want to be a thief of my own wallet." - Johan Cruijff

"Giving a politician access to your wallet is like giving a dog access to your refrigerator." - Tim Barber

"I hope you brought your wallet, 'cause the rent in Hell gets paid in advance!" - Sarge

"Guard you thoughts as you would your wallet. Habit is stronger than reason." - George Santayana

"Cargo pants freak me out. Too many pockets. I always forget where my wallet is." - Matthew Gray Gubler

"Most voters would rather have their purse or wallet stolen than be audited by the IRS." - Frank Luntz

"I don't use a wallet. My money is just free-flowing in my bag." - Christa B Allen

"I can explain that shot. Arnold moved his wallet to the other pocket." - Ben Crenshaw

"I don't want to be a thief of my own wallet." - Johan Cruyff

"The only person who knows what's in my wallet is my wife." - Tracy Morgan

"Every one has his faults: but we do not see the wallet on our own backs." - Catullus

"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet." - Rodney Dangerfield

"When businesses affirmatively like regulations, that's when to reach for your wallet." - Timothy Noah

"A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it." - Evan Esar

"I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction." - Mitch Hedberg

"I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet." - Al Mcguire

"To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run." - Milton Jones

"I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all." - Mitch Hedberg

"People don't buy with their head but with their heart. The heart is closer to the wallet than the head." - Mark Victor Hansen

"Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet!" Oberon" - Kevin Hearne

"Not everything is about money. You didn't even say, hello. You are not your sad little wallet." - Chuck Palahniuk

"We all seem to stumble, planning our own demise, Getting the big picture, and making it wallet-sized." - Kendrick Lamar

"A father is a fellow who has replaced the currency in his wallet with snapshots of his kids." - Michael Forest

"Before you can transform your wallet from poor to rich, you've got to transform your spirit from poor to rich." - Robert Kiyosaki

"No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet." - Anonymous

"One can understand a person by the way he removes his wallet and puts his hand to take out money." - Boman Irani

"I don't carry a wallet. I keep my cards in my pocket and cash in my boots." - Jackson Rathbone

"Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had." - Michael Crichton

"Real choice is clear information and the right to walk away from a bad deal without leaving your wallet behind." - Jeff Merkley

"He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed." - Benjamin Franklin

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." - Robin Williams

"I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought." - Rodney Dangerfield

"He spoke in telegram-as if every word he used cost five bucks, and he only had a twenty in his wallet." - Suzanne Brockmann

"So I'm into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man." - Mindy Kaling

"A chest of gold coins or a fat wallet of bills is of no use whatsoever to a wrecked sailor alone on a raft." - Alan Watts

"It seems to be a law of American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic." - Russell Baker

"The rules have changed. True power is held by the person who possesses the largest bookshelf, not gun cabinet or wallet." - Anthony J. D'Angelo

"You lose a wallet or keys or something and you notice in a second, but your life can go missing and you don't even know it." - John Dufresne

"Make a list of twenty-five things you want to experience before you die. Carry it in your wallet or purse and refer to it often." - H Jackson Brown Jr

"That no one, no one at all, should try to search into himself! But the wallet of the person in front is carefully kept in view." - Persius

"So I'm into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man." - Mindy Kaling

"Poor is a state of mind. Broke is a state of wallet. You can fix being broke; it's not so easy to fix being poor." - Ric Edelman

"All change in life comes from within. It is what's in humanity's soul, not what's in humanity's wallet, that will purchase our freedom from humanity's suffering." - Neale Donald Walsch

"You'll reach into your wallet to brandish a photograph of a new puppy, and a friend will say, 'Oh, no - not pictures." - Caroline Knapp

"We say here that if you fall down in the United States, the ambulance man must feel for your wallet before he feels for your pulse" - George Galloway

"If you ever meet anyone who tells you his or her religion can offer all the answers, run for the hills. Or at least hide your wallet." - Greg Epstein

"When you first open Niall [Horan]'s wallet, the first thing you see is a picture of Justin Bieber and a picture of us." - Liam Payne

"I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here." - Doug Stanhope

"For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet." - Robert Orben

"Your wallet will be stolen, you'll get fat, slip on the bathroom tiles of a foreign hotel and crack your hip." - Ellen Bass

"If you are not generous when it's difficult, you will not be generous when it's easy. Generosity is a function of the heart, not the wallet." - Wayne Dyer

"It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic." - Russell Baker

"The rules have changed. True power is held by the person who possesses the largest bookshelf, not gun cabinet or wallet." - Anthony J Dangelo

"We say here that if you fall down in the United States, the ambulance man must feel for your wallet before he feels for your pulse." - George Galloway

"The 3-D effects in "Star Wars" are so realistic, you can actually see George Lucas reaching from the screen and taking the money from your wallet." - Craig Ferguson

"Are you motivated? Are you coherent? Is your intention aligned? Are your feet, tongue, heart and wallet congruent? That intention shines through." - Peter Guber

"Riding a bicycle is about getting back to basics. It's good for the waistline and it's good for the wallet, is what I'm saying." - Phil Keoghan

"You'll reach into your wallet to brandish a photograph of a new puppy, and a friend will say, 'Oh, no - not pictures.'" - Caroline Knapp

"I don't put cash in my Louis Vuitton wallet. I have it thrown around my bag - jut a whole bunch of hundreds, maybe $5,000." - Nicki Minaj

"I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don't care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss." - Mindy Kaling

"The traditional dictionary definition of the difference is that an alcoholic will steal your wallet in a blackout, come to, and apologize for it. A junkie will steal your wallet and then help you look for it. But ultimately I think all addictions boil down to just not being able to be with yourself for any long degree of time." - Jerry Stahl

"As much as the Pulitzer is the hallmark of journalism, I think what I love the most is when somebody says they took my column and it's in their wallet. I have had people open their wallet and show me a corner of a column." - Regina Brett

"A big sister who cries over being human over you. A gravelly voiced kid who's friends left him over you. And a pink-haired girl who keeps your picture in her wallet." - R. J. Palacio

"Capitalism does what it does and money doesn't belong to anybody. It just stays in someone's wallet for a while, then it goes somewhere else. It always goes somewhere and it is always about to go somewhere." - Henry Rollins

"Be careful out there. There are things that go bump in the night. Actually, there are things that go 'Give me your wallet or I'll kill you' in the night." - John Larroquette

"Anything can happen anytime in markets. And no advisor, economist, or TV commentator-and definitely not Charlie nor I-can tell you when chaos will occur. Market forecasters will fill your ear but will never fill your wallet." - Warren Buffett

"Airplanes are like women - pick what you like and try to get it away from the guy who has it, then dress it out to the limit of your wallet and taste." - Stephen Coonts

"I can't find my car keys in the morning. Trying to get out of my house is a nightmare. "Where's my wallet? Where are my keys? I have to go find a missing person." - Anthony Lapaglia

"Miss the audience's heart as a filmmaker, and the only wallet that gets hit will be your own. That's because the heart is always the first target in story telling." - Peter Guber

"Ask yourself, what makes my book so different? So interesting? Do' write to be a best seller. Write for and from your heart, not your wallet. Write something you want to be remembered by." - Leon Nacson

"Bush senior used to say that we have more will than wallet. So he urged the country to attack poverty with a thousand points of light, none of which could be eaten." - Barney Frank

"Scream at the mangled leather carcass lying at the foot of the stairs, and my parents would roar with laughter. "That's what you get for leaving your wallet on the kitchen table." - David Sedaris

"For me, the international expansion of eBay was the best idea. We are now in 35 countries, and have a huge global network. The second best one was the acquisition of PayPal - the wallet on eBay" - Meg Whitman

"Yes, the deficit doctors have their scalpels out all right, but they're not poised over the budget. That's as fat as ever and getting fatter. What they're ready to operate on is your wallet." - Ronald Reagan

"Libraries are community treasure chests, loaded with a wealth of information available to everyone equally, and the key to that treasure chest is the library card. I have found the most valuable thing in my wallet is my library card." - Laura Bush

"Too much of our lives corresponds to the 'lost-wallet' theory of life. You lose something, spend a long time finding it, and then feel grateful to be back where you started." - Gloria Steinem

"The lost wallet or purse law: No matter how careful you are, assume that you will lose a few. ... Keep grief to a minimum. It's bad enough your stuff is gone; don't lose your mind too." - Jennifer James

"That no one, no one at all, should try to search into himself! But the wallet of the person in front is carefully kept in view. [Lat., Ut nemo in sese tentat descendere, nemo! Sed praecedenti spectatur mantica tergo.]" - Aulus Persius Flaccus

"Is it any more moral to dilute the value of the purchasing power of the money you hold in your wallet than it is for the farmer to dilute the milk supply with water?" - Ron Paul

"We hear a lot about identity theft when someone takes your wallet and pretends to be you and uses your credit cards. But the more serious identity theft is to get swallowed up in other people's definition of you." - Stephen Covey

"I can't find my car keys in the morning. Trying to get out of my house is a nightmare. "Where's my wallet? Where are my keys? I have to go find a missing person."" - Anthony Lapaglia

"The difference between corporations and governments is governments have a monopoly on force. It's a lot easier to vote with your feet or your wallet than it is to change a government with your vote." - P. J. O'Rourke

"I've got a grocery bill at the end of every month.Our toothpaste, our orange juice, that all gets paid. But I - it is true that I don't carry my wallet that often." - Barack Obama

"Ask yourself, what makes my book so different? So interesting? Don't write to be a best seller. Write for and from your heart, not your wallet. Write something you want to be remembered by." - Leon Nacson

"I have my prized possession in my wallet. That's a photograph of the first words I ever uttered to my wife, and her answer to my question when I asked her, "Will you go out with me?"" - Jeff Bridges

"Take the cards out of your wallet. A debit card is accepted just about everywhere that credit cards are, and you'll be spending money you have - always a good thing." - Jean Chatzky

"I believe in poker the way I believe in the American Dream. Poker is good for you. It enriches the soul, sharpens the intellect, heals the spirit, and - when played well, nourishes the wallet." - Lou Krieger

"Their [the waiters'] eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet - pate, Whitstable oysters, a sole, filet mignon, and a favorite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes." - S J Perelman

"If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"" - Mitch Hedberg

"One day, observing a child drinking out of his hands, he cast away the cup from his wallet with the words, "A child has beaten me in plainness of living." - Diogenes

"In brief, when a man fails as a wallet, we put him in prison; when a woman fails as a mother, we offer her social services. We're taking a criminal approach to men, a social services approach to women." - Warren Farrell

"I can't find my car keys in the morning. Trying to get out of my house is a nightmare. 'Where's my wallet? Where are my keys? I have to go find a missing person.'" - Anthony Lapaglia

"Never have your wallet with you onstage. It's bad luck. You shouldn't play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money. Tom Waits (to me, about 1986 or so)" - Tom Waits

"If you want to see a man come to his senses, try something like, Do you happen to carry a rubber in your wallet? Did I mention I'm not on the pill?" - Catherine Ryan Hyde

"Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet." - Robin Williams

"Most of the tasks we do are for humans. For example, a tax calculation is counting numbers so the government can pull money out from my wallet, but government consists of humans." - Yukihiro Matsumoto

"I used to have a lovely wallet with lots of different compartments where I kept photographs of my grandmother, grandfather and friends. It was stolen one night when I was out in Edinburgh, and I never got it back." - Neve Mcintosh

"Our broken society is not born out of the triumph of the individual, but out of his effacement. He vanishes, she vanishes, ask them who they are and they will offer you a wallet or a child." - Jeanette Winterson

"I just don't want to die alone, that's all. That's not too much to ask for, is it It would be nice to have someone care about me, for who I am, not about my wallet." - Richard Pryor

"A bad investment is going for quantity over quality. If you're trying to be careful with your wallet, especially with the economy right now, you have to choose staple pieces." - Christian Siriano

"For me, the international expansion of eBay was the best idea. We are now in 35 countries, and have a huge global network. The second best one was the acquisition of PayPal - the wallet on eBay." - Meg Whitman

"I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles." - Brene Brown

"When I was a kid, I would always write down lists of my favorite things and keep them in my wallet, just in case someone ever needed to know what my 10 favorite foods were, or my 10 favorite actors." - Mindy Kaling

"People should get married because they have finally seen the folly of being single: "Oh, this is all just kind of a bad magic trick. I just keep bending over to reach for this wallet on a string. How much longer am I gonna do that?"" - Jerry Seinfeld

"I suddenly leaned forward,bringing my face close to hers.catching her breath,stifling that laugh and pink tongue,she watched me wide-eyed.I removed the wallet from my back pocket and sat down casually again. "What happened?" I asked idly. "I thought...never mind".She blinked. Ha,gotcha" - Chetan Bhagat

"So carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. You may still falter or fail, but you always know that you pushed hard and aimed high. Take a leap of faith. Fear not. Courage is the ultimate career move." - Anna Quindlen

"I remember one time I tried to pity this fool. He told me his name was Jeff. He was married. He pulled out his wallet and showed me three pictures of his kids; Kelly, Robert, Brittany. Real cute kids. Don't get too close man. It's hard to pity a fool if you get too close." - Mr T

"[Before the Spirit] I had been producing comic books for 15-year-old cretins from Kansas [I wanted to aim for] a 55-year-old who had his wallet stolen on the subway. You can't talk about heartbreak to a kid." - Will Eisner

"How'd you get in here?" She raised her eyebrows. "You pick pockets." Kat watched his hand fly to his back pocket. "I can pick locks. Looking for this?" she asked, holding up his wallet. "Oops. Maybe I can pick pockets too." - Ally Carter

"'Reform' is a word you always aughta' watch out for. 'Reform' is a change that you're supposed to like. And watch it - As soon as you hear the word 'Reform', you should reach for your wallet and see who's lifting it." - Noam Chomsky

"Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled. Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had. ... The greatest scientists in history are great precisely because they broke with the consensus." - Michael Crichton

"Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back Wherein he puts alms for oblivion, A great-sized monster of ingratitudes: Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devour'd As fast as they are made, forgot as soon as done." - William Shakespeare

"Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back, Wherein he puts alms for oblivion, A great-sized monster of ingratitudes. Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devoured As fast as they are made, forgot as soon As done." - William Shakespeare

"Now I am going back And I have ripped my hand From your hand as I said I would And I have made it this far as I said I would and I am on the top deck now holding my wallet, my cigarettes and my car keys at 2 o'clock on a Tuesday in August of 1960." - Anne Sexton

"If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning... Face it, friend. He is crazy about you!" - Max Lucado

"If your motives aren't clean, money itself becomes evil. But When we don't have money enough evil, the world tells us we're losers. So what determines our place in society is not how much kindness is in our hearts but how much evil is in our wallet." - Todd Mcfarlane

"There was a time in L.A. when I drove to 7-Eleven to go grocery shopping, and I locked my keys in my car, which wasn't insured. My wallet was in there, and I couldn't call AAA, because I only had $7 in my bank account. It was one of those moments where I was like, 'O.K., I literally have nothing right now." - Whitney Cummings

"What our generation failed to learn was the nobility of work. An honest day's labor. The worthiness of the man in the white socks who would pull out a picture of his grandkids from his wallet. For us, the factory would never do. And turning away from our birthright - our grandfather in the white socks - is the thing that ruined us." - Charlie LeDuff

"Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'" - Mike Birbiglia

"Acting is acting, and who you are will still remain to be who you are. You know, that part won't change it. It will change your wallet, you know? It'll change your life. It will open opportunities for you, but it's not going to change your character." - Gabourey Sidibe

"You can't just walk into someone's house and take $15 bucks out of someone's wallet and then walk out with their song. You can't do that. You got to know the difference between stealing from being cool to the band and paying them what they're deserved." - Richard Patrick

"We need to get past the point where being black and a male means that I am likely to mug you for your wallet, likely to have a minus 15 on my IQ, likely to not go to college and likely to wear my pants below my arse." - John Amaechi

"... And if you are a man wearing capri pants...? You need to take your guy card out of your wallet and pass it forward. Then... yeah, then, on the way home I want you to buy a tube of Vagasil, a VW convertible, and have your boyfriend drive you the rest of the way home, 'cause you are dismissed." - Christopher Titus

"I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together." - Jim Carrey

"Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back Wherein he puts alms for oblivion, A great-sized monster of ingratitudes: Those scraps are good deeds past, which are devour'd As fast as they are made, forgot as soon as done." - William Shakespeare

"I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet." - Mitch Hedberg

"I was in China this year and I spent three weeks there with no luggage, in a really not very nice place and without anything except my passport and my wallet. You're a long way from home and you've got no phone and you can't get in touch with anybody." - Jill Douglas

"My body, now close to fifty years of age, has become an old tree that bears bitter peaches, a snail which has lost its shell, a bagworm separated from its bag; it drifts with the winds and clouds that know no destination. Morning and night I have eaten traveler's fare, and have held out for alms a pilgrim's wallet." - Matsuo Basho

"Individually the poor are not too tempting to thieves, for obvious reasons. Mug a banker and you might score a wallet containing a month's rent. Mug a janitor and you will be lucky to get away with bus fare to flee the crime scene." - Barbara Ehrenreich

"It is true that power corrupts. The hope at the polling stations and the actions of the elected representatives, unfortunately, often turn to be opposite. The power of ballot turns into the power of wallet. Some law-makers become law-breakers." - Tsakhiagiin Elbegdorj

"Scott Hall is a great wrestler, a better friend, but more than anything a very caring human being. Scott never passed a homeless person or someone in need without opening his wallet. This is a guy that has the first two nickels he ever made." - Kevin Nash



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Wallet, Lost Wallet,