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Waiters Quotes


"I have tipped waiters, and I have been tipped by waiters." - George Orwell

"There is an army of waiters in this world." - Henry Ward Beecher

"Waiters are like hookers, never around when you want them." - Bernie Ecclestone

"Those who write are writers. Those who wait are waiters." - A. Lee Martinez

"Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?" - George Carlin

"I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters." - Oscar Wilde

"We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers." - Eddie Izzard

"Waiters will always pee in soup, people will always fall in love." - Chuck Palahniuk

"We shall reduce the Arab population to a community of woodcutters and waiters" - Yitzhak Rabin

"The waiters in France could all be senators in the US." - Natasha Leggero

"Los Angeles is peopled by waiters and carpenters and drivers who are there to be actors." - Patrick Duffy

"Why can't teachers end up owning schools, the way waiters can open their own restaurants?" - Peter Brimelow

"The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters." - Robert Morley

"All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around." - Jay Leno

"When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper." - Andy Rooney

"I don't like grand restaurants or kowtowing waiters. I don't need that kind of attention and I don't want it." - Danielle Steel

"Corrupted by wealth and power, your government is like a restaurant with only one dish. They've got a set of Republican waiters on one side and a set of Democratic waiters on the other side. But no matter which set of waiters brings you the dish, the legislative grub is all prepared in the same Wall Street kitchen." - Huey Long

"New York waiters, probably the surliest in the Western world . . . are better images of their city than that journalistic favorite the taxi driver." - Alan Brien

"Patience is more than a virtue for long lines and slow waiters. Patience is the red carpet upon which God's grace approaches us." - Max Lucado

"...the waiters carried themselves with a quiet joy, as if their entire mission in life was to make their customers feel comfortable and well tended." - Julia Child

"I don't trust valets, waiters - nobody. I don't waste my time anymore trying to figure out who leaks things to the press." - Nicole Richie

"I own the restaurant. There are a lot of cooks, waiters and waitresses in this restaurant. They worry about their problems. I worry about all the problems." - Mack Brown

"People who are rude to waiters... I don't like that sort of thing. People who take cuts in line... it doesn't fly!" - Michelle Pfeiffer

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." - Lemony Snicket

"New York waiters, probably the surliest in the Western world... are better images of their city than that journalistic favorite the taxi driver." - Alan Brien

"Software substitution, whether it's for drivers or waiters or nurses - it's progressing. Technology over time will reduce demand for jobs, particularly at the lower end of skill set." - Bill Gates

"If I ever own a restaurant, I will never allow the waiters to ask if the diners like their dishes. Particularly when they're talking." - Orson Welles

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." - Daniel Handler

"You noodle around with tempo and sound until you get the perfect fit for that particular song, and then, so long as you can sustain it, God is on your side and everything comes easily and even the waiters smile." - Wilfrid Sheed

"Foreign diplomats could have modeled their conduct on the way the Negro postmen, Pullman porters, and dining car waiters of Roxbury [Massachusetts] acted, striding around as if they were wearing top hats and cutaways." - Malcolm X

"For days on end, I would hardly speak, and when I did only the vilest sort of gibberish would spout forth. I became morose and fat. Unapproachable, except when eating - and then only by waiters." - Bette Midler

"What is with waiters who don't write anything down and memorize your order instead? Are you trying to impress me or something? If you were that smart you wouldn't be a goddamn waiter in the first place." - Aaron Karo

"The Englishman foxtrots as he fox-hunts, with all his being, through thickets, through ditches, over hedges, through chiffons, through waiters, over saxophones, to the victorious finish; and who goes home depends on how many the ambulance will accommodate." - Edna St Vincent Millay

"I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it." - Dana Gould

"Their [the waiters'] eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet - pate, Whitstable oysters, a sole, filet mignon, and a favorite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes." - S J Perelman

"He had lunch with Cecilia that afternoon. They ate their corned beef on rye and cream cheese with lox in a diner peopled by waiters who looked like they'd met with utter disappointment and become attached to it." - Mary Gaitskill

"I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right." - Todd Barry

"Waiters are like actors waiting in the wings, bantering whenever we passed each other on the restaurant floor, shouting at each other backstage in the kitchen and winking and corpsing above the heads of our audience, the unsuspecting customers." - Richard Eyre

"When I was a kid, like 14 or 15, I played with the waiters from the hotel, 'cause that was the best game. And these guys, they'd let me play. And they were black guys." - Larry Bird

"For me, good service is efficient and discreet; it's that critical balance. As soon as the client sits down, the communication flow has to start. Customers need to feel that the waiters are supervised - that there's a system in place." - Daniel Boulud

"I hate it when people are impolite to waiters or to the valet or the guy in the supermarket. There's no need for that; it doesn't cost anything to be polite." - Ashley Madekwe

"In Hamburg the waiters always had Preludin - and various other pills, but I remember Preludin because it was such a big trip - and they were all taking these pills to keep themselves awake, to work these incredible hours in this all-night place. And so the waiters, when they'd see the musicians falling over with tiredness or with drink, they'd give you the pill. You'd take the pill, you'd be talking, you'd sober up, you could work almost endlessly - until the pill wore off, then you'd have to have another." - John Lennon

"I believe that humanity now is desperately calling for new ideas. These new ideas must come from spiritual teachers and artists, from poets and philosophers, from educators and ecologists, from postal clerks and miners and traffic cops and nurses and waiters and musicians and cooks and cleaners and from...Regular People Everywhere. That is to say, from YOU." - Neale Donald Walsch

"Software substitution, whether it's for drivers or waiters or nurses ... it's progressing. ... Technology over time will reduce demand for jobs, particularly at the lower end of skill set. ... 20 years from now, labor demand for lots of skill sets will be substantially lower. I don't think people have that in their mental model." - Bill Gates

"But he could not taste, he could not feel. In the teashop among the tables and the chattering waiters the appalling fear came over him- he could not feel. He could reason; he could read, Dante for example, quite easily...he could add up his bill; his brain was perfect; it must be the fault of the world then- that he could not feel." - Virginia Woolf

"Hell is probably quite similar to most Paris bistros ... a bit overheated, somewhat too crowded, and a little too noisy for my tastes. The waiters will surely treat you rudely and the cashiers will always add a few extra francs to your bill but ... and this is the important part ... the food will be marvelous." - Henry Miller

"Software substitution, whether it's for drivers or waiters or nurses ... it's progressing. ... Technology over time will reduce demand for jobs, particularly at the lower end of skill set. ... 20 years from now, labor demand for lots of skill sets will be substantially lower. I do' think people have that in their mental model." - Bill Gates

"His face held a certain impassivity; you see it in all waiters and valets. They might want to jam a knife through your left eye socket, but you'd never know it from their expression. Working retail, I've acquired a similar look myself." - Ann Aguirre

"The impulse to acquisition, pursuit of gain, of money, of the greatest possible amount of money, has in itself nothing to do with capitalism. This impulse exists and has existed among waiters, physicians, coachmen, artists, prostitutes, dishonest officials, soldiers, nobles, crusaders, gamblers, and beggars." - Max Weber

"Learn to take losses quickly and cleanly. There is something about inside information which seems to paralyze a man's reasoning powers. Beware of barbers, beauticians, waiters - or anyone - bringing gifts of 'inside' information or tips. Don't try to be a jack of all investment. Stick to the field you know best." - Bernard Baruch

"I'm thinking waiters and waitresses are going to be bracing for more customers coming in going, not just kind of where is that beef from, but, like, where is that vanilla from and what's up with that sunflower oil? Is it organic or not and how many pesticides?" - Michael Moss

"I have been in countries where I don't know a word of the language. I tried to practice my French as much as possible. I would talk with the crew. I always order in French, but then waiters respond in English. I hate that." - Kevin Kline

"Italy is good in the sense that when you bring a child to a restaurant in Italy, they're happy to see it. The waiters will say "complimenti" and welcome you and dote after the kid. They don't treat you like you just brought in this horrible probably soon-to-be-squealing creature who's going to be difficult." - Anthony Bourdain

"At one of the typical restaurants [in Florence, Italy], recommended by the big hotels, the waiters, who are a family, treat the clients like interlopers, feigning not to notice their presence, bawling orders sarcastically to the kitchen, banging down the dishes, spitting on the floor." - Mary Mccarthy

"For we have come by different ways to this place... I can tell by the natural ease with which you wear fine clothes and the way your mouth moves when you speak with waiters in good restaurants. You have come the way of castles and cathedrals, of elegance and empire." - Robert James Waller

"I don't like people being rude. Bad manners and arrogance make me cross. People making others feel uncomfortable. And I really don't like it in restaurants when people are rude or patronising to waiters. I feel like saying, 'They're not your slave'. But my knees only shake around once every five years. You're safe, don't worry." - Alan Titchmarsh

"The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me." - Ricky Gervais

"Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."" - Rita Rudner

"I don't think you should be allowed to eat in a restaurant if you haven't waited tables at least once. It's so irritating when I see people being rude to waiters, like, it makes me want to slit their throats! Like, really? You're really this inconsiderate?" - Lizzy Caplan

"Now, if you are like me - if you are like practically anybody in America - then you probably hold some negative opinions about the French, based upon movies, rumors, recent headlines, unfortunate run-ins with Parisian waiters, or... you know... all that unpleasantness surrounding the Vichy regime." - Elizabeth Gilbert

"I was afraid to board a streetcar because of the conductor; I was afraid to enter the Kabuki Theater for fear of the usherettes standing along the sides of the red-carpeted staircase at the main entrance; I was afraid to go into a restaurant because I was intimidated by the waiters furtively hovering behind me waiting for my plate to be emptied." - Osamu Dazai

"I did a dance sequence in my second short film, which was my best short film, called 'Hairway to the Stars,' and I think Chris Wink, the founder of Blue Man Group, was in that. It's a black-and-white dance sequence. We were Glorious Food waiters together." - David O Russell

"The economic dimension is very clear. I was at a dinner party, a mother got up, who's a very distinguished scientist, and said she had to get home and help her daughter with her homework. The two waiters, their faces changed. They were working their second jobs, they couldn't get home to help their kids with homework." - Donna Shalala

"In L.A., the waiters think they're stars. Everybody's always trying to pretend that they see stars every day, so there tends to be a false blas' about celebrity sightings in L.A. In some ways, that's a good thing, because it allows you to walk around." - Jaleel White

"The way we treat people we think can't help or hurt us - like housekeepers, waiters, and secretaries - tells more about our character than how we treat people we think are important. How we behave when we think no one is looking or when we don't think we will get caught more accurately portrays our character than what we say or do in service of our reputations." - Michael Josephson

"I'm here," she said, skidding to a stop. "Can we go now?" Sebastian insisted on helping her on with the coat. "I don't think anyone's ever helped me with my coat before," Clary observed, freeing the hair that had gotten trapped under her collar. "Well, maybe waiters. Were you ever a waiter?" "No, but I was brought up by a Frenchwoman," Sebastian reminded her. "It involves an even more rigorous course of training." - Cassandra Clare

"Eating reveals the characteristic grossness of the human race and also the in-built failure of its satisfactions. We arrive eager, we stuff ourselves and we go away depressed and disappointed and probably feeling a bit queasy into the bargain. It's an image of the decu in human existence. A greedy start and a stupefied finish. Waiters, who are constantly observing this cycle, must be the most disillusioned of men." - Iris Murdoch

"I first understood the changes that were necessary in this world, because the waiters in the restaurant, when I cried, used to say, "Leave her on the hillside to die. She's only a girl baby." I think they said it somewhat as a joke, maybe not, but it made me understand that being born female in this world was very different from being born male." - Grace Lee Boggs

"Donald Trump claims - he did interview after the debate where he said, well, gosh, you can't find Americans to do these jobs to be waiters or waitresses or bellhops.What ridiculous nonsense. "The New York Times" reported roughly 300 Americans applied for those jobs. He only hired 17. Instead, he brought in foreign workers, because they're captive workers, because you can pay them less because they can't leave." - Ted Cruz

"There was so much going on. I remember a very interesting dinner in the studio of [Robert] Rauschenberg. He had convinced Sidney Janis, Leo Castelli, and a third big gallery man to serve us, the artists, at the table. So they were dressed up as waiters, we were sitting at the table, and they were only allowed to sit down at the end of the table for the cognac. This is not possible now." - Erro

"Tipping generally changes depending on where you are in the world. In Britain you don't always have to tip, but I always make sure I do. I have a lot of respect for waiters and waitresses - it can't be an easy job and they often don't get paid huge amounts, so I think it's important to reward them and let them know if they are giving great service." - Andy Murray

"There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition is that it is the place where the Germans are the police, the Swedish are the comedians, the Italians are the defense force, Frenchmen dig the roads, the Belgians are the pop singers, the Spanish run the railways, the Turks cook the food, the Irish are the waiters, the Greeks run the government, and the common language is Dutch." - David Frost

"Meanwhile it's got stormy, the tattered fog even thicker, chasing across my path. Three people are sitting in a glassy tourist cafe between clouds and clouds, protected by glass from all sides. Since I don't see any waiters, it crosses my mind that corpses have been sitting there for weeks, statuesque. All this time the cafe has been unattended, for sure. Just how long have they been sitting here, petrified like this?" - Werner Herzog