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Waiter Quotes

RELATED QUOTES

"A good setter is like a waiter." - Julio Velasco

"Haughty, adj. Proud and disdainful, like a waiter." - Ambrose Bierce

"...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make." - Eoin Colfer

"Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye." - George S Kaufman

"When I was a waiter I was fired twice from the same restaurant. I guess I was that good of an actor but that bad of a waiter." - Nathan Fillion

"When you find a waiter who is a waiter and not an actor, writer, musician or poet, you've found a jewel." - Andre Soltner

"When I was a waiter, I wanted to be the best waiter I could be and worked to be better at it every day." - Robert Herjavec

"If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter." - Louis L'Amour

"[To waiter who had spilled soup on her:] Never darken my Dior again!" - Beatrice Lillie

"The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a dam' good head waiter." - Nubar Gulbenkian

"The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it." - William Collier

"Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers" - Stephen Fry

"The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter." - Nubar Gulbenkian

"A critic at best is a waiter at the great table of literature." - Louis Dudek

"If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer, you're a waiter." - Dan Poynter

"Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT." - Richard Kadrey

"[When a waiter spilled soup on her dress:] Never darken my Dior again." - Beatrice Lillie

"[Epitaph for a waiter:] By and by God caught his eye." - David McCord

"I wanna try being a waiter at restaurant or work to introduce Korea to other people!" - Seungri

"Insanity hovered close at hand, like an eager waiter at an expensive restaurant." - Arundhati Roy

"A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter." - Morey Amsterdam

"If a guy treats me respectfully and the waiter demeaningly, I'm turned off." - Moran Atias

"I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour." - Nigella Lawson

"I was a lousy waiter, dealing with people and having people in your face like that." - Judge Reinhold

"I was working in restaurants as a captain and as a waiter." - Sally Schneider

"How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person." - Austin Butler

"Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian?" - Djuna Barnes

"In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor." - Quentin Crisp

"Robert Whitmore died of apoplexy when a stranger from Georgia mistook him for a former Macon waiter." - Frank Marshall Davis

"I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

"At present every coachman and every waiter argues about whether or not the relativity theory is correct." - Albert Einstein

"When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."" - Henny Youngman

"He was deferential, ingratiating, concerned for your pleasure, like a waiter with a tray of French pastry in his hand." - Mary Mccarthy

"Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!" - Henny Youngman

"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." - Dave Barry

"I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school." - Nick Frost

"It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter." - Don Herold

"A diplomat these days in nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally." - Peter Ustinov

"I would say a full-time waiter in a high-price house could easily make $75,000, $80,000 a year." - Tom Douglas

"I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'" - Phyllis Diller

"I'm almost 40, so it's an awkward time in my career. You kind of hope it comes through and, if not, I'll be a waiter. Awesome." - Matthew Lillard

"The waiter brought fresh-baked bread and cheese, a bottle of sparkling water for Annabeth, and a Coke with ice for me (because I'm a barbarian)." - Rick Riordan

"Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma'am? (Waiter) 'How about a bag for my head, or a stick to beat Lanie with?' (Grace)" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

"I like it when the waiter askes you if you want parmesan cheese on your dinner, yeah, give me essence of puke all over me tea!" - Lee Evans

"I'm like a waiter and you something like a hater with trays in both hands, place an order I can cater." - Drake

"I was photographing every meal I ate, every person I met, every waiter or waitress who served me, every bed I slept in, every toilet I used." - Stephen Shore

"The waiter brought fresh-baked bread and cheese, a bottle of sparkling water for Annabeth, and a Coke with ice for me (because I'm a barbarian)." - Rick Riordan

"Could I have a Sloe Gin Fizz, without the gin?" "What's the point of that, Miss?" the waiter said. "Tomorrow morning," Mabel said." - Libba Bray

"If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick." - Jay Mohr

"The really good thing about my career is that I never went through a phase where I played characters who had names like "Partygoer," "Waiter," or "Guy 1."" - Rob Lowe

"O plump head-waiter at The Cock, To which I most resort How goes the time? 'Tis five o'clock. Go fetch a pint of port." - Alfred Tennyson

"I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food" - Zach Galifianakis

"I did quite a lot of menial jobs. I was a waiter, an inventory clerk touring round properties listing cups and saucers, and a laserquest marshal." - Richard Armitage

"I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky." - Jane Fonda

"I left school at 16 and skipped university to work, initially as a waiter. I think I missed out on what would have been great years." - Peter Mayle

"If I can't eat the meal in a restaurant, and the waiter asks, 'Is everything all right, Madam?', I tell them that I'm on a diet." - Cilla Black

"I did quite a lot of menial jobs. I was a waiter, an inventory clerk touring round properties listing cups and saucers, and a laserquest marshal." - Richard C Armitage

"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me." - Rodney Dangerfield

"From being a waiter, to a door-to-door salesman, to a car-washer, to a delivery boy - I have done it all." - Randeep Hooda

"I worked as a waiter when I was 15 and got a chance to appreciate good, simple food. There's nothing better than a boiled egg with toast." - Ewan Mcgregor

"I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip." - Jack Benny

"Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."" - Jerry Seinfeld

"When service is overly attentive, I become uncomfortable - I don't like it, for example, when a waiter tops up my glass as soon as I take a sip of water. It's better when you realise you need something and then the waiter is immediately available. You can say the service is good when it isn't intrusive, but comes straight away when required." - Nobu Matsuhisa

"Worship is first and foremost a feasting on all that God is for us in Jesus... [One] in which God is the host, the cook, the waiter, and the meal itself." - Sam Storms

"The New York waiter ... knows more than you do about everything. He disapproves of your taste in food and clothing, your gauche manners, your miserliness, and sometimes, it seems, of your very existence, which he tries to ignore." - Kate Simon

"Talk is a pure art. Its only limits are the patience of listeners who, when they get tired, can always pay for their coffee or change it with a friendly waiter and walk out." - John Dos Passos

"[On being an actor] .nothing more than a worker in a service occupation . It's like being a waiter or a gas station attendant, but I'm waiting on 6 million people in a week if I'm lucky." - Harrison Ford

"But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties." - Robert Benchley

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich." - Tommy Cooper

"I'm nothing more than a worker in a service occupation. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky." - Harrison Ford

"Enchantment can be done with writing but I think enchantment is basically a prospective or an operating system for life. That you can enchant a person who is assigning your airplane seat, your hotel room, your waiter, your waitress." - Guy Kawasaki

"The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That's cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat." - Douglas Adams

"Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma"am? (Waiter) "How about a bag for my head, or a stick to beat Lanie with?" (Grace)" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

"A diner having a row with a waiter in a swanky restaurant chills the blood in a way that a quarrel over a pizza order elsewhere would never do. Compassion is rarely the custom of the privileged." - Derren Brown

"What is with waiters who don't write anything down and memorize your order instead? Are you trying to impress me or something? If you were that smart you wouldn't be a goddamn waiter in the first place." - Aaron Karo

"I got my first break and became a singing waiter at eighteen or nineteen. I couldn't make a living at it. I quit. Then I got married and sold aluminum siding. My wife had problems physically. It was not good." - Rodney Dangerfield

"I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and salsa. Like I was gonna let that guy get away - I don't think so." - Chelsea Handler

"I was an actor in college and it was much easier than being a waiter. I thought it was fun to get paid. People were not exactly surprised to see me going in the field." - Dom Irrera

"I worked at Starbucks, I was a waiter, a bartender and a valet, sometimes working 2 to 3 jobs at a time while getting a lot of 'no's' as an actor." - Andrea Hall

"I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system." - Harry Hill

"At a certain drawing room in London... a guest approached Mr. Choate, who was in the conventional dress of the English waiter, and said, 'Call me a cab.' 'All right,' said Mr. Choate, 'if you wish it. You're a cab." - Joseph H. Choate

"I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."" - Frank Carson

"So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck"." - Tommy Cooper

"I don't consider myself an actor, for me it's employment. Like the actor who's a waiter a lot, I'm an actor when I'm not on tour, in that that's a job I can do." - Henry Rollins

"Beckoning a waiter J. P. Morgan once ordered a beer while saying, 'When Morgan drinks, everybody drinks.' Everybody had a beer and when Morgan had finished, he slapped a dime upon the table, saying, 'When Morgan pays, everybody pays." - J P Morgan

"By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve." - Saki

"Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die." - Chuck Palahniuk

"Pre-'Tokyo Drift,' I was like: 'Am I gonna play Yakuza 1 and Chinese Waiter 2 for the rest of my life? Is America even ready for an Asian face that speaks English, that doesn't do Kung Fu?'" - Sung Kang

"Of course we've been fighting against stereotypes from Day One at East West. That's the reason we formed: to combat that, and to show we are capable of more than just fulfilling the stereotypes - waiter, laundryman, gardener, martial artist, villain." - Mako

"The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That's cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat." - Douglas Adams

"You go to New York or L.A., and every waiter wants to be a writer, director or actor. But there's a common thread: everybody wants to do it because they love it." - Gillian Alexy

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'" - Tommy Cooper

"My manager has season tix to the Dodgers, four seats to 40 games, and they're right behind the plate, I mean, they're amazing, food and waiter service, which is insane." - Nate Corddry

"A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver?" - Adriana Lima

"A waiter at the hotel kept telling me that Cape Town is just like a European city, but it's not like that at all. It doesn't feel safe, and I didn't really go out at night." - Robert Webb

"The top 2 percent of real big stars make a lot of money. Then there are the 15 percent who make a living without having to be a waiter. That's me." - Dan Lauria

"If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day." - Kelly Ripa

"I had a little delivery van, and I did work around Queens. I was also a waiter at Red Lobster, so I was working on the business in between jobs." - Daymond John

"There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again." - Bill Bryson

"When somebody is a little bit wrong - say, when a waited puts nonfat milk in your espresso macchiato, instead of lowfat milk - it is often quite easy to explain to them how and why they are wrong. But if somebody is surprisingly wrong - say, when a waiter bites your nose instead of taking your order - you can often be so surprised that you are unable to say anything at all. Paralyzed by how wrong the waiter is, your moth would hang slightly open and your eyes would blink over and over, but you would be unable to say a word." - Daniel Handler

"A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. "Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder. "I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves." - Lynne Truss

"I am one of those who like to stay late at the cafe," the older waiter said. "With all those who do not want to go to bed. With all those who need a light for the night." "I want to go home and into bed." "We are of two different kinds," the older waiter said. He was now dressed to go home. "It is not only a question of youth and confidence although those things are very beautiful. Each night. I am reluctant to close up because there may be someone who needs the cafe." - Ernest Hemingway

"The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"" - Erma Bombeck

"He thinks he is a flower to be looked at And when he pulls his frilly nylon pants right up tight He feels a dedicated follower of fashion. When a waiter at Buckingham Palace spilled soup on her dress: Never darken my Dior again!" - Ray Davies

"New York City is like the appetizer table at a Jewish wedding, loaded with salt and spice and cholesterol and flavor, with a waiter holding out pleasure in his right hand and indigestion in his left. If you've got the bucks, this burg has the bangs." - Leonore Fleischer

"I love to watch those old movies on late-night television, particularly when a couple get up from a champagne dinner in a posh restaurant and the hero hands the waiter $3. But the best part is when he says, "Keep the change."" - Robert Orben

"... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp." - Charles Dickens

"...the waiter has to come from a place of concentration, subjugation, and complete, limitless service. Nothing is too much trouble. The customer is always right, even when he is wrong. There is no limit to what you will do to serve while that person is in your bar and in your care." - Stuart Wilde

"I am not a fan of people who abuse service staff. In fact, I find it intolerable. It's an unpardonable sin as far as I'm concerned, taking out personal business or some other kind of dissatisfaction on a waiter or busboy." - Anthony Bourdain

"I am not a fan of people who abuse service staff. In fact, I find it intolerable. It's an unpardonable sin as far as I'm concerned, taking out personal business or some other kind of dissatisfaction on a waiter or busboy." - Anthony Bourdain

"Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena) Why do' you speak a little louder, Lanie? I do' think the guys in Canada were able to hear you. (Grace) Oh, I do' know. They"re probably headed south even as we speak. (Waiter)" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

"Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena) Why don't you speak a little louder, Lanie? I don't think the guys in Canada were able to hear you. (Grace) Oh, I don't know. They're probably headed south even as we speak. (Waiter)" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

"I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy." - Helen Fielding

"A fellow once came to me to ask for an appointment as a minister abroad. Finding he could not get that, he came down to some more modest position. Finally, he asked to be made a tide-waiter. When he saw he could not get that, he asked me for an old pair of trousers. It is sometimes well to be humble ..." - Abraham Lincoln

"Chekhov said: let's put God - and all these grand progressive ideas - to one side. Let's begin with man; let's be kind and attentive to the individual man - whether he's a bishop, a peasant, an industrial magnate, a convict in the Sakhalin Islands, or a waiter in a restaurant. Let's begin with respect, compassion, and love for the individual - or we'll never get anywhere." - Vasily Grossman

"The etiquette of intimacy is very different from the etiquette of formality, but manners are not just something to show off to the outside world. If you offend the head waiter, you can always go to another restaurant. If you offend the person you live with, it's very cumbersome to switch to a different family." - Judith Martin

"Given the clientele, the restaurants on Capri might resemble those fancy Northern Italian places on the East Side of Manhattan where the captain has taken bilingual sneering lessons from the maitre d' at the French joint down the street and the waiter, whose father was born in Palermo, would deny under torture that tomato sauce has ever touched his lips." - Calvin Trillin

"The best tournament that I have ever played in was in 1950. It was great - a waiter came to you during the game, and you could order anything you wanted to drink (even some vodka, if you liked). Pity, there are no longer tournaments organized in this manner..." - Boris Spassky

"The actors I was most impressed with and who were influencing my taste were all movie actors, so I always wanted to do movies but I didnt want to go to Hollywood and become a waiter in the meantime. The chances are really slim that an actor will be discovered in Hollywood. ... Ive never had to compromise myself for a job, ever." - Gary Sinise

"Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don't have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a 'habitual waiter'?" - Eckhart Tolle

"Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?" - Don Rickles

"A real litmus test for me is how people treat someone who is waiting on them. That's a dealbreaker for me.If I were on the verge of getting into a serious relationship and I saw that person be mean to a waiter... I'm out." - Steven Soderbergh

"Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now...? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually." - Nick Frost

"The waiter just flashed me something that said, "Chew bubblegum." Every morning, when I was about to go to the Oprah competition, my friend used to say this line in a video game to me: "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum." There's a strict policy that you can't encourage anyone on a reality show, that would give them an edge." - Zach Anner

"Would you convey your compliments to the purist who reads your proofs and tell him or her that I write in a sort of broken-down patois which is something like the way a Swiss waiter talks, and that when I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will stay split." - Raymond Chandler

"Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."" - Rita Rudner

"I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'" - Tommy Cooper

"I am not a fan of people who abuse service staff. In fact, I find it intolerable. It's an unpardonable sin as far as I'm concerned, taking out personal business or some other kind of dissatisfaction on a waiter or busboy." - Anthony Bourdain

"Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato." - Jim Gaffigan

"The young man called the waiter and paid. Then he got up and said to the girl: 'We're going.' Where to?' The girl feigned surprise. Don't ask, just come on,' said the young man. Is that any way to talk to me?' It's the way I talk to whores." - Milan Kundera

"When I was 18, I lived in Greenwich Village, New York, for nine months. At that time, I wanted to change the world, not through architecture, but through painting. I lived the artist's life, mingling with poets and writers, and working as a waiter. I was intrigued by the aliveness of the city." - Christian De Portzamparc

"I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.'" - Helen Fielding

"Once I started working as a professional actor, it was like, 'Bye-bye waiting tables, bye-bye bartending, bye-bye all the cliched jobs actors do.' But after a year of not getting work, there's this really difficult conflict, like, 'Do I have to go back to being a waiter when people recognize me from a show?'" - David Walton

"I did plenty of jobs that I hated. I was a bank teller and terrible at it. I parked cars, a valet. I answered phones. I somehow avoided being a waiter. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the order straight. I'm not much of a multi-tasker." - Will Ferrell

"When I talk about my husband, I feel as if people roll their eyes. It's like when you're 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, 'Do you think I'm stupid?'. They can't grasp that I'm old enough to be married." - Megan Fox

"I have been working since I was 20, and I'm 38. I actually once averaged out what I had made over my professional life. I think I could have made that much as a waiter or an insurance salesman. You know, I spent so many years in my 20's making $10,000 a year." - Sebastian Junger

"Everything I do, I go to black people. If I have a problem at the airport, I'll go to the black ticket agent. I hope they notice me because I'll get better service. If I'm at a restaurant, I look for the black waiter. Rent-a-Car, give you the upgrade." - Gary Owen

"Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?'" - Don Rickles

"My indifference to money and my spendthrift ways are disgraceful. You have no idea how reckless I am; how often I practically throw money out of the window. I am always making good resolutions, but the next minute I forget and give the waiter eightpence." - Robert Schumann

"My father was and is a great father. My father always wanted to do stand-up. He wanted to be an actor. But instead he did two jobs. He did customer service at a hospital and he worked as a waiter at night. He pretty much sacrificed everything for his daughters." - Sherri Shepherd

"To go to the Oscars for Moneyball - that was pretty amazing. And to be able to go work with Kathryn Bigelow - that's going to be pretty sweet. Hopefully I don't have to go back to being a waiter. That's still my main goal." - Chris Pratt

"I notice how well or badly a guy treats a waiter, or whether he's kind to some people and not to others. One guy I was with actually yelled, 'Get out of my face!' at a homeless man. Needless to say, there was no second date." - Sarah Wynter

"I've never had to get a job as a waiter or anything. I've always been able to support myself in 'the biz.' Which is great. It's really fantastic to be able to say that, because I know it's hard to do." - Paul Feig

"My father was a guy who, because of the businesses he was in - the hotel business, the hospitality business - he didn't differentiate between the waiter serving you dinner, from the maitre d from the guy who owns a restaurant. Everybody was the same to him. He didn't look at who you were. He didn't look at your wallet." - Steve Tisch

"If I ever get looks on the street, which, for the record, is almost never, it's rarely because they think I'm someone they saw in a movie. More often someone sees me and thinks, 'Hey, was that guy my waiter the other night?'" - Patrick Wilson

"I once joked in a book that there are three things you can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he is ready to see you, and you can't go home again." - Bill Bryson

"I once joked in a book that there are three things you can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he is ready to see you, and you can't go home again. Since the spring of 1995, I have been quietly, even gamely, reassessing point number three." - Bill Bryson

"I basically modeled my way through college, doing local runway shows in L.A. that don't pay a lot and a couple of shows in N.Y. and S.F., and I probably made the same as the average 19-year-old waiter; I just worked less and was around beautiful girls, so it was nice." - Mehcad Brooks

"My father was a waiter basically, and when I got my first professional job as an actor, I left a job that he found me for half the amount of money. So anyone would think that they're stupid, that that would be a stupid move." - Alfred Molina

"Fortunately, I never had to do the waiter thing. When I got out of college, I immediately started to teach acting. One of the first jobs I had was in a federally-funded program where I taught drama to young people." - Bill Nunn



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