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Uncle Sam Quotes


"You've got a problem. Part of what you own isn't yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?" - Ben Feldman

"If 10% is good enough for Jesus, it oughta be enough for Uncle Sam." - Ray Stevens

"I received my Greetings from Uncle Sam in May 1943. I applied for the Air Force." - Desi Arnaz

"You gotta be think'n Sam Adams, not drink'n Sam Adams" - Sarah Palin

"Right now, I'm worth a million dollars, and I owe Uncle Sam a million-and-a-half dollars, and I made a deal with him. I said, 'Uncle Sam, I'm going to pay you 25 grand a month." - Robert Blake

"Right now, I'm worth a million dollars, and I owe Uncle Sam a million-and-a-half dollars, and I made a deal with him. I said, 'Uncle Sam, I'm going to pay you 25 grand a month.'" - Robert Blake

"Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam." - Richard Miller

"Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam." - Olin Miller

"If 10 percent is good enough for the Lord, it ought to be good enough for Uncle Sam." - Paul Broun

"You can pay Uncle Sam with all your overtime, is that all you get for your money?" - Billy Joel

"Grace me no grace, nor uncle me no uncle." - William Shakespeare

"Oooh, if you have never been to Alaska, go there while it is still wild. My favorite uncle asked me if I wanted to go there, Uncle Sam. He said if you don't go, you're going to jail. That is how Uncle Sam asks you." - Bob Ross

"A small business person has Uncle Sam as a partner, a partner who puts up no money, does no work, and wants 30 or 40 percent" - Irwin Schiff

"I may drink too much and play too loud, hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd. That don't mean I don't respect my mama or Uncle Sam." - Tracy Byrd

"...The war (WWI) cost your Uncle Sam $52 billion. $39 billion was expended in the actual war period. This expenditure yielded $16 billion in profits." - Smedley Butler

"As a broad generalization, big businesses have no moral objections to being whores. Getting into bed with Uncle Sam is all a question of price, not principle." - Jonah Goldberg

"Uncle Sam is forcing integration only because he's trying to impress the people of - abroad that he's morally qualified to be the leader of the world." - Malcolm X

"Any time Uncle Sam, with all his machinery for warfare, is held to a draw by some rice eaters, he's lost the battle." - Malcolm X

"It's my firm conviction that when Uncle Sam calls, by God we go, and we do the best that we can." - R Lee Ermey

"Go hang yourself, you naughty mocking uncle!" - William Shakespeare

"O my prophetic soul! My uncle!" - William Shakespeare

"My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians." - Jimmy Kimmel

"Sam is there, Sam has been playing well, he has been doing great in camp." - Latrell Sprewell

"Sam Allardyce should learn a bit of humidity" - Johnny Giles

"Like most Rebel soldiers, Sam Watkins owned no slaves." - Bruce Catton

"I'm Michael Sam, I'm a football player, and I'm gay." - Michael Sam

"Sam Rockwell has a fantastic sense of rhythm" - Duncan Jones

"You have phantom income each year. No money is being put in your pocket, but you have to take some money out of your pocket to pay Uncle Sam because the tax is paid based on accretion." - Scott Walker

"It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam - which, let me make it very clear, I have not done - than it is to speak honestly about [working moms]." - Tina Fey

"[ Uncle Sam] is not sending 20 billion dollars to South America because he loves those people down here. He's sending it - sending it to them because he needs their friendship, he needs their allegion - their allegiance." - Malcolm X

"Why should [Uncle Sam] send 20 billion dollars down there [South America], which is going to go down the drain every time you have a racial in - incident in this country?" - Malcolm X

"Additionally, this tax forces family businesses to invest in Uncle Sam rather than the economy. When families are forced to repurchase businesses because of the death tax, that means less money is being invested in new jobs and capital expansion." - Todd Tiahrt

"And if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle." - Tiffanie DeBartolo

"My great uncle fought in WWI. His stories fascinated me." - Charles Todd

"Well, good-by, Uncle Tom; keep a stiff upper lip." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

"I always thought Uncle Vanya could be a stoned masterpiece." - Vera Farmiga

"Sam, Sam, pick oop tha' musket,' The Sergeant exclaimed with a roar, Sam said 'Tha' knocked it doon, reet! then tha'll pick it oop, Or it'll stay where it is on't floor" - Stanley Holloway

"When I go to China, people call me 'Uncle Mo' because they refer me as Yao Ming's uncle. I'm pleased to be his uncle as long as he listens to me!" - Dikembe Mutombo

"Sam Snead did to the tee-shot what Roger Bannister did to the four-minute mile." - Byron Nelson

"Kinsey Millhone is a female Sam Spade; a thorough professional, a loner, clear-headed and unsentimental." - Lucille Kallen

"I like the flaws best," Sam said. "They make her real." - Carolyn Mackler

"Sam?" Rachel asked. "Do you know you have the saddest sad face ever?" - Maggie Stiefvater

"I wish I could stop being in love with Sam. I really do." - Stephen Chbosky

"And a bird-cage, sir, said Sam. Veels vithin veels, a prison in a prison." - Charles Dickens

"Sam: For once in my life, I was here and nowhere else." - Maggie Stiefvater

"I am a monster. I am the Son of Sam. I love to hunt." - David Berkowitz

"It was a great honor to be called a mo-fo by Sam Jackson." - Christian Bale

"I never thought I'd be working with Sam [L.Jackson] .That's about as good as it gets." - Samuel L Jackson

"There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison." - Norm Macdonald

"When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that." - Norm Macdonald

"Sam I am I am Sam I am Sam Sam I am." - Dr. Seuss

"Sam is the only person I've ever physically threatened on a set." - Charlton Heston

"Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music." - Stephen Chbosky

"I love Maje, Rick Owens, Helmut Lang, Christopher Kane, Felder + Felder, and Sam Edelman shoes." - Amber Le Bon

"I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am." - Dr. Seuss

"Servant leadership is the foundation and the secret of Sam Walton's ability to achieve team synergy." - Michael Bergdahl

"Sam Walton was a master storyteller who used illustrative stories to reinforce his cultural standards." - Michael Bergdahl

"I started with Sam Cooke when I was 6 or 7 years old." - Bobby Womack

"I definitely think that myself and Sam will help the Timberwolves." - Latrell Sprewell

"Of course I want dubs and a candy painted 'lac Watch the videos and get the girls in the back But if that's what I believe in, and the reason that I rap Uncle Sam is my pimp when he puts me on the track" - Macklemore

"Uncle Sam took up the challenge in the year of '33 For the farmer and the factory and all of you and me. He said, "Roll along Columbia. You can ramble to the sea, But river while you're ramblin' you can do some work for me."" - Woody Guthrie

"It is quite likely ... that the central figure of the gospels is not based on any historical individual. Put simply, not only is the theological "Christ of faith" a synthetic construct of theologians, a symbolic "Uncle Sam" figure, but if you could travel ... back to First-Century Nazareth, you would not find a Jesus living there." - Robert M. Price

"wouldn't you like to make sure all those millions you give to Uncle Sam went to schools and hospitals instead of nuclear warheads?' As a matter of fact, he would. Playgrounds for big kids, preschool programs to little ones, and mandatory LASIK surgery for NFL refs." - Susan Elizabeth Phillips

"...Senate Doc. 259. The 65th congress(:)...The coal companies made between 100% and 7,856% on their capital stock during the war (to end all wars, WWI). ...The leather people sold your Uncle Sam hundreds of thousands of saddles for the calvary. But there wasn't any calvary overseas!" - Smedley Butler

"If we are enforcing what should be the rules around Medicare and making sure the people are getting the bang for the buck, it's not going to be possible for insurance companies to simply pass on those costs to Medicare recipients, because ultimately it's Uncle Sam that's paying for those services anyway." - Barack Obama

"After Hitler was destroyed, there was the threat of Stalin, but it was always the world pressure that was upon America that enabled black people to go forward. It was not the initiative internally that the Negro put forth in America, nor was it a change of moral heart on the part of Uncle Sam it was world pressure." - Malcolm X

"That's not our problem, that's America's problem. If the average American knew the trouble that Uncle Sam is in all over this earth, they could see that it - we are closer toward getting a separate territory in this country than the integrationists are toward getting integration." - Malcolm X

"If he [Uncle Sam] can't do this [integration], then they will - it will alienate them. And all of the hundreds of millions of dollars or billions of dollars that he has sent abroad trying to buy the friendship of the dark world will go right down the drain." - Malcolm X

"We must proceed with our own energy development. Exploitation of domestic petroleum and natural gas potentialities, along with nuclear, solar, geothermal, and non-fossil fuels is vital. We will never again permit any foreign nation to have Uncle Sam over a barrel of oil." - Gerald Ford

"The U.S. government uses cash accounting. That is illegal for any enterprise of any size in America except for the U.S. government. Every for-profit business, every not-for-profit business, every state and local government has to use real accounting except for Uncle Sam." - Jim Cooper

"If you're familiar with my man Uncle Sam, you understand the only way you can actually feel better about what he's gonna take, come the end of the year, is lifestyle. Only thing you can do is spend some of it." - Curtis Jackson

"We must proceed with our own energy development. Exploitation of domestic petroleum and natural gas potentialities, along with nuclear, solar, geothermal, and non-fossil fuels is vital. We will never again permit any foreign nation to have Uncle Sam over a barrel of oil." - Gerald R Ford

"[Reviewing a production of Uncle Tom's Cabin] The dogs were poorly supported by the cast." - Don Herold

"Save the people you love, who cares about the rest of the world? - Uncle Jake" - Michael Buckley

"I Hated Duke. I Felt Like They Only Recruited Black Players That Were Uncle Toms." - Jalen Rose

"Richard Cromwell was not fit to wear the mantle of his uncle." - John F Kennedy

"[Moses] is obsessed with hip-hop and wanted a gold chain like his uncle Jay-Z." - Gwyneth Paltrow

"I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight." - William Shakespeare

"Sniviling worm (...) a Jewish Uncle Tom who would have turned rat on Anne Frank." - Mark Williams

"Come with uncle and hear all proper. Hear angel trumpets and devil are invited!" - Anthony Burgess

"Long ago, in a burst of friendliness, Aunty and Uncle Jimmy produced a son named Henry..." - Harper Lee

"You know, my uncle wore a lot of jewelry, a lot of gold chains." - Two Chainz

"I don't like the way Uncle Junior dresses. He loves it." - Dominic Chianese

"My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago." - George Gobel

"My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama." - Fred Allen

"My uncle always said that I could have been a rancher." - Robert Duvall

"My favorite lie was the online rumor that Bruce Willis was my uncle. That's hilarious." - Kreayshawn

"An uncle gave me a side drum and my mother decided I should have lessons." - Humphrey Lyttelton

"Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle." - Alvah Bessie

"My uncle and my grandfather both worked in the Brooklyn Navy Yard." - Dave Van Ronk

"I used to sing songs and write with my uncle, Bill Owens." - Dolly Parton

"Viewers figure, 'Uncle Willard doesn't know any more about the weather than I do.' They're right." - Willard Scott

"I felt no pressure that my grandfather was famous and my uncle was famous." - Kim Weston

"I love my brothers' kids. It's funny - as an uncle, you become so protective of them." - Liam Hemsworth

"Being a son, brother, uncle and brother-in-law is all I care about." - Chris Burke

"Sam:"Okay, what words would you use then?" I leaned back in the seat, thinking, as Sam looked at me doubtfully. He was right to look doubtful. My head didn't work with words very well- at least not in this abstract, descriptive sort of way. Grace:"Sensitive" I tried. Sam translated: "Squishy" Grace:"Creative" Sam:"Dangerously emo" Grace:"Thoughtful" Sam:"Feng shui." I laughed so hard I snorted. Grace:"How did you get feng shui out of thoughtful?" Sam:"You know, because in feng shui, you arrange funiture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways." - Maggie Stiefvater

"Sam Phillips always encouraged me to do it my way, to use whatever other influences I wanted, but never to copy...if there hadn't been a Sam Phillips, I might still be working in a cotton field." - Johnny Cash

"Sam- " After you were bitten, i knew what would happen. I waited for you to change, every night, so i could bring you back and keep you from getting hurt." Grace- " How long did you wait?" Sam- " I haven't stopped." - Maggie Stiefvater

"Never see... a dead post-boy, did you? inquired Sam... No, rejoined Bob, I never did. No! rejoined Sam triumphantly. Nor never vill; and there's another thing that no man never see, and that's a dead donkey." - Charles Dickens

"Sam: You know what I wish? Cassel: What? Sam: That someone would covert my bed into a robot that would fight other bed robots to the death for me." - Holly Black

"I was fortunate enough to take classes with Mel Powell at Yale University as well as a semester with Sam Adler at the Eastman School of Music. From Mel I learned to appreciate improvisatory ingenuity and from Sam rhythmic athleticism." - Barbara Harbach

"The tailor from 'Avatar' actually made my suit for 'Uncharted 3.' And no, it's not a hand-me-down from Sam Worthington. My 11-year-old would fit in Sam Worthington's. I'm 6' 1", 180 pounds." - Nolan North

"My father had always called me Sam since the day I was born. He rarely ever called me Tiger. I would ask him, 'Why don't you ever call me Tiger?' He says, 'Well, you look more like a Sam." - Tiger Woods

"Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing." ~ Sam (Hilary Duff), A Cinderella Story" - Hilary Duff

"I can't think of a man more worthy of the presidency then my good friend Sam Nunn." - Jimmy Carter

"I was not asked whether I would have a problem having Michael Sam on my team. I would not." - Tony Dungy

"Sam, I really want to buy a red coffee pot, if they exist," Grace said. "I'll find you one" - Maggie Stiefvater

"My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs." - Steven Wright

"Don't leave me here alone! It's your Sam calling. Don't go where I can't follow! Wake up, Mr. Frodo!" - J R R Tolkien

"Everything that the Sam Simon Foundation does is supposed to help dogs and people-that's our mission." - Sam Simon

"I used to have this slight speech implement and couldn't remember things before I took the Sam Carnegie course." - Bill Peterson

"I always loved Sam Cooke, because he seemed very versatile. He sang gospel, soul, blues, pop music" - Aaron Neville

"Paranoia," Sam muttered. "You're going slowly nuts, dude. Or maybe not so slowly, since you're talking to yourself." - Michael Grant

"I'm not James Brown. I'm not Sam Cooke. I'm Charley Pride. I'm just me and that's what you got." - Charley Pride

"[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb]." - Norm Macdonald

"Sam Phillips responded most to a song of mine called, "Hey Porter," which was on the first record." - Johnny Cash

"Sam Hellerman is a genius!" - Frank Portman

"I always loved Sam Cooke, because he seemed very versatile. He sang gospel, soul, blues, pop music." - Aaron Neville

"If there are things saying wrong about Sam Allardyce, believe you me, I will be fighting them." - Sam Allardyce

"I went to drama school at NYU for serious acting. So I was doing Chekov and Sam Shepard plays." - Casey Wilson

"Estee Lauder cologne. Sam Cooke always wore it, and I started wearing it because he wore it." - Bobby Womack

"I wish you guys would just say, 'Michael Sam, how's the football going? How's training going?' But it is what it is. And I just wish you guys would see me as Michael Sam the football player instead of Michael Sam the gay football player." - Michael Sam

"When you expand the civil-rights struggle to the level of human rights, you can then take the case of the black man in this country before the nations in the UN. You can take it before the General Assembly. You can take Uncle Sam before a world court. But the only level you can do it on is the level of human rights. Civil rights keeps you under his restrictions, under his jurisdiction. Civil rights keeps you in his pocket." - Malcolm X

"What is patriotism but love of the good things we ate in our childhood? I have said elsewhere that the loyalty to Uncle Sam is the loyalty to doughnuts and ham and sweet potatoes and the loyalty to the German Vaterland is the loyalty to Pfannkuchen and Christmas Stollen. As for international understanding, I feel that macaroni has done more for our appreciation of Italy than Mussolini... in food, as in death, we feel the essential brotherhood of mankind." - Lin Yutang

"Uncle Sam is not often called a fool in business matters, yet he has sold millions of acres of timber land at two dollars and a half an acre on which a single tree was worth more than a hundred dollars. But this priceless land has been patented, and nothing can be done now about the crazy bargain.... a bad, black business from beginning to end." - John Muir

"I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later, we found out he was a bear." - Jack Handey

"I had a very crazy aunt and uncle who we traded my brother Webster to for a Siamese cat. It was heaven to live with my aunt and uncle because you got spoiled to death." - Rex Smith

"It's nice when somebody tells you about their uncle. Especially when they start out telling you about their father's farm and then all of a sudden get more interested in their uncle." - J D Salinger

"You can tell your uncle stuff that you could not tell your dad. That is kind of the role of an uncle. I feel very much like a father sometimes but sometimes I feel like a teammate." - Dusty Baker

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Chuck Nevitt

"My uncle used to sit me on his lap and play "ventriloquist", only I wasn't wearing pants." - Thom Yorke

"Someday you will know that the heart is not always as wise as it is strong. - Uncle Eddie" - Ally Carter

"I saw Uncle John with Long Tall Sally, he saw Aunt Mary coming and he ducked back in the alley." - Little Richard

"And I will not be beaten by that jackass." "Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass." - Eoin Colfer

"The name 'Chuck Jones', according to my uncle, limited my choice of profession to second baseman or cartoonist." - Chuck Jones

"Trying to be like my uncle, because I was an only child. He and my cousins were everything to me." - Deon Cole

"I don't use those terms [like Uncle Tom], and I would never speak in that kind of language." - Jill Stein

"Kristen Stewart always looks like she's posing for pictures taken in a basement by her creepy uncle." - Chelsea Handler

"My uncle, who was a little more flamboyant, always said the guy who dressed the best was Fred Astaire." - Andy Garcia

"Having competed themselves, my father and my uncle are very passionate about motorsport, so I inherited it from them." - Pastor Maldonado

"When Liza Minelli was a child, she used to sit on my lap and call me Uncle Sammy." - Sammy Davis, Jr.

"Uncle Brett had a definite vision that he was after, I don't think having a famous father affected him much." - Kim Weston

"It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought." - P G Wodehouse

"I grew up watching and learning from the ultimate partnership, and that is of my father and late uncle." - Jonathan Tisch

"If Uncle Martin were here today, he would surely commend us for giving honor where honor is due." - Alveda King

"My Uncle, of course, would have been pleased to see someone with brown skin holding the office of president." - Alveda King

"The thing I was beginning to figure out about Sam and Grace, the thing about Sam not being able to function without her, was that that sort of love only worked when you were sure both people would always be around for each other. If one half of the equation left, or died, or was slightly less perfect in their love, it became the most tragic, pathetic story invented, laughable in its absurdity. Without Grace, Sam was a joke without a punch line." - Maggie Stiefvater

"Sam Snead will fly anywhere in my plane with me. Sam's not as worried about the danger as he is about saving money." - Arnold Palmer

"The next time you feel rejection's sting, remember God's words to Samuel: "It is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me." (1 Sam. 8:7)" - Beth Moore

"Because that, more than any monster, was what Sam had feared: that he was weak and cowardly. He had a terrible fear of being afraid." - Michael Grant



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