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Uncle Birthday Quotes


"Grace me no grace, nor uncle me no uncle." - William Shakespeare

"The birthday of the Lord is the birthday of peace." - Pope Leo I

"Death smells like birthday cake." - Maggie Stiefvater

"Go hang yourself, you naughty mocking uncle!" - William Shakespeare

"For my birthday, buy me a politician!" - Ice Cube

"God schedules a birthday, not man." - Robert A. Bradley

"New Year's Day is every man's birthday." - Charles Lamb

"I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit." - Amanda Seyfried

"I left school on my 15th birthday." - David Bailey

"A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted." - R. K. Milholland

"A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted." - Randy K. Milholland

"And if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle." - Tiffanie DeBartolo

"My uncle used to love me, but she died." - Roger Miller

"My great uncle fought in WWI. His stories fascinated me." - Charles Todd

"Well, good-by, Uncle Tom; keep a stiff upper lip." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

"We cannot reform the world.... Uncle Sugar is as dangerous a role for us to play as Uncle Shylock." - John F Kennedy

"When Uncle Bob (or Ted or Ray) promised to send a shooting star over the house to mark a young listener's birthday, the young listener, who had hung out the window for an hour without seeing the star, questioned not Uncle Bob (or Ted or Ray), but his own eyesight." - Vincent Canby

"It's my birthday, I'll get high if I want to." - Drake

"The last birthday that's any good is 23." - Andy Rooney

"I wish people would stop talking about my birthday." - George Bernard Shaw

"Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!" - Jerry Lawler

"Jakie, is it my birthday or am I dying ?" - Nancy Astor

"The birthday of a new world is at hand." - Thomas Paine

"What do you mean - Happy anniversary? It's not my birthday." - Peter Greenaway

"I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been." - Lewis Black

"Just hit my 75th birthday, I'm feeling great!" - Colin Powell

"I'm six foot eleven. My birthday covers three days." - Darryl Dawkins

"How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, His precepts!" - Benjamin Franklin

"On my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections." - Eva Herzigova

"Everyman and every living being have the same birth day: The birthday of the universe is our real birthday!" - Mehmet Murat Ildan

"I Hated Duke. I Felt Like They Only Recruited Black Players That Were Uncle Toms." - Jalen Rose

"The best hearts, Trim, are ever the bravest, replied my uncle Toby." - Laurence Sterne

"It's healthy to say uncle when your bone's about to break." - Jonathan Franzen

"A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt" - Mark Twain

"If 10% is good enough for Jesus, it oughta be enough for Uncle Sam." - Ray Stevens

"I'm that crazy-ass drunk uncle that nobody wants to invite to the holidays and birthdays." - Mark Mcgrath

"I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight." - William Shakespeare

"If my aunt had a male appendage, she'd be my uncle." - Jamal Simmons

"Sniviling worm (...) a Jewish Uncle Tom who would have turned rat on Anne Frank." - Mark Williams

"God is not nice. God is not an uncle. God is an earthquake." - Abraham Joshua Heschel

"You know, my uncle wore a lot of jewelry, a lot of gold chains." - Two Chainz

"I don't like the way Uncle Junior dresses. He loves it." - Dominic Chianese

"My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama." - Fred Allen

"My uncle always said that I could have been a rancher." - Robert Duvall

"Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle." - Alvah Bessie

"Uncle fought in Vietnam and then he fought a war all by himself." - Bob Dylan

"They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle." - Sarah Silverman

"Viewers figure, 'Uncle Willard doesn't know any more about the weather than I do.' They're right." - Willard Scott

"Being a son, brother, uncle and brother-in-law is all I care about." - Chris Burke

"I think there's something about the homemade birthday cake, because my wife, on my daughter's first birthday, started the tradition where she takes a full cake and cuts the number birthday out of it." - Willie Geist

"When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off." - Joan Rivers

"I just celebrated my fourth birthday on the set, my fourth birthday cake. So it's been awhile and, you know, I grew up with these guys." - Hayden Panettiere

"Your birthday is a special day, May it bring you love and cheer It gives a chance for me to say, Happy birthday every year" - Mary Baker Eddy

"On your birthday . . . Have a cuppa, kick off your shoes, sit back and relax ? you deserve it! Best Wishes for a Very Relaxing Birthday." - Margaret Jones

"If a girl says not to get her a birthday present that means get me a birthday present and make sure it's jewelry." - Kami Garcia

"Is it not that, in the chain of human events, the birthday of the nation is indissolubly linked with the birthday of the Saviour?" - John Quincy Adams

"Old age is the time when birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake itself, and half of your urine is wasted on medical testing." - Faina Ranevskaya

"There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know." - Lewis Carroll

"Every five years, I like to do a big birthday party. I had my 45th birthday with 75 friends in Marrakesh, Morocco." - Chip Conley

"The United States is the only country with a known birthday." - James G. Blaine

"Why party like it is 1999 when you can party like it is your birthday?" - Prince

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." - Herbert V Prochnow

"Your birthday is the vintage of your wine; the mark that warns you of your future." - Aesop

"Before we get started, let's all say 'Happy Birthday' to Elvis Presley today." - Michele Bachmann

"Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday." - Andy Borowitz

"Is that a birthday? 'tis, alas! too clear; 'Tis but the funeral of the former year." - Alexander Pope

"Clearly God was in some kind of mood on my birthday." - Jodi Picoult

"When I was four, I asked my mother for a valet for my birthday." - Karl Lagerfeld

"I have a terrible time remembering exactly when my birthday is. Age is totally boring..." - Diana Vreeland

"Happy 110th birthday to Frank Zamboni, who left us in 1988 but still resurfaces periodically." - Steve Rushin

"For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram." - Steven Wright

"Wearing a bikini on a magazine cover is my 41st birthday present to myself." - Faith Hill

"Pleas'd look forward, pleas'd to look behind,And count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope

"From our birthday, until we die, Is but the winking of an eye." - William Butler Yeats

"The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity." - Seneca the Younger

"This day, which thou fearest as thy last, is the birthday of eternity." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

"Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, And count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope

"Happy Birthday, Mr Presidenttttt" - Marilyn Monroe

"You have the freedomness to celebrationalise your birthday according to your own preferentation." - George W Bush

"I was playing birthday parties. House-rent parties where they used to sell whisky during prohibition." - Thelonious Monk

"It's your birthday today, so what would you say, if we turned that frown upside down" - Billie Jean King

"Birthday Wishes Are sent your way! To wish you Such Wonderful Day!" - Julie McGregor

"It's your Birthday Just do what You do best Chill out!!" - Julie McGregor

"May the moments of today become fond memories for tomorrow. Happy Birthday" - Rob Jackson

"May today be a happy memory, tomorrow a bright new promise. Happy Birthday" - Rob Jackson

"Hope your birthday, from morning to night is special for you, wonderful and bright." - Susan Smith

"You, my friend, alone are equal to a hundred of such friends. Happy Birthday to you." - Lee Iacocca

"You're birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar..... Yung No Mo" - Dana Rosemary Scallon

"The waterfront without the Ferry Tower would be like a birthday cake without a candle." - Herb Caen

"Me and crazy Janey were making love in the dirt singing our birthday songs." - Bruce Springsteen

"Happy birthday greetings and warmest wishes, too May today, tomorrow, everyday Be truly happy for you." - Margaret Brown

"I consider the decision of my colleagues and friends to be the best birthday present." - Vladimir Putin

"Celebrating Christmas without Christ is like celebrating George Washington's birthday without mentioning the first president." - James N. Watkins

"I do things every day for my birthday. I'm just not a party girl." - Kim Basinger

"It's the nicest birthday I've ever had. You've made a happy man very old." - Steven Morrissey

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." - Herbert Prochnow

"Anticipate the day as if it was your birthday and you are turning six again." - Mike Dolan

"Memory is what tells a man that his wife's birthday was yesterday." - Mario Rocco

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

"My favorite birthday game is Pin the Cleanup on the guests." - Maxine

"I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory." - Sloane Crosley

"My mom and my father's birthday are on the same day." - Victor Cruz

"In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame." - Annette Funicello

"Birthday Alarm was a very simple site based on being reminded of your friends' birthdays." - Michael Birch

"I'm mighty glad that I found you. Have a terrific birthday." - Tehyi Hsieh

"My mom FedExes a red velvet cake she makes from scratch to me every birthday." - Molly Sims

"The first guitar I ever got was for my 13th birthday." - Rick Springfield

"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday." - Erma Bombeck

"I love photography. My boyfriend's got a great camera, which I bought for his birthday." - Sarah Sutton

"The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday." - Paris Hilton

"I saw a man killed in front of my eyes just before my eighth birthday." - Peter Otoole

"I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later, we found out he was a bear." - Jack Handey

"i remember we all cried like the Missouri when my Uncle Sol's coffin lurched because somebody pressed a button (and down went my uncle Sol and started a worm farm)" - E E Cummings

"It's nice when somebody tells you about their uncle. Especially when they start out telling you about their father's farm and then all of a sudden get more interested in their uncle." - J D Salinger

"My uncle was a hero, Lewis Roundtree. He was not even related to me really, but he was always called my uncle. He was like a father to me. I was closer to him than I was my father." - Ed Bradley

"Dumbledore raised his finger for silence, a silence which fell as though he had struck Uncle Vernon dumb." - J K Rowling

"Got a house on the hill, cost a couple of mill, Juicy J got bank like Uncle Phil." - Juicy J

"I saw Uncle John with Long Tall Sally, he saw Aunt Mary coming and he ducked back in the alley." - Little Richard

"Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam." - Richard Miller

"The name 'Chuck Jones', according to my uncle, limited my choice of profession to second baseman or cartoonist." - Chuck Jones

"Trying to be like my uncle, because I was an only child. He and my cousins were everything to me." - Deon Cole

"My uncle is an optimist. He just asked the IRS to take him off their mailing list." - Joe L. Griffith

"Look, I learned from your uncle that when the universe turns out to be insane, the wise man embraces insanity." - Bradley Denton

"When Liza Minelli was a child, she used to sit on my lap and call me Uncle Sammy." - Sammy Davis Jr

"My youngest uncle Randy and I were the first members of our entire family to ever go to college." - James Earl Jones

"Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam." - Olin Miller

"You have the upper class Negroes who are the modern day Uncle Toms or the 20th century Uncle Toms. They don't wear a handkerchief anymore. They wear top hats. They're called Doctor, they're called - Reverend, but they're still - they play the same role today that Uncle Tom played on the plantation." - Malcolm X

"For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you the world. Have fun blowing it up." - Craig Ferguson

"All I want for my birthday is another birthday." - Ian Dury

"I hate birthdays. It's so funny, people always come up to me, "Hey! It's my birthday!" But when it's my birthday, I don't want to talk about it, I don't wanna tell anybody..." - Josh Groban

"A real man is one who remembers the lady's birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband." - Faina Ranevskaya

"I like birthday cake. It's so symbolic. It's a tempting symbol to load with something more complicated than just 'Happy birthday!' because it's this emblem of childhood and a happy day." - Aimee Bender

"According to the book Celebrate Today, June 18th is National Splurge Day. Besides being the birthday of Paul McCartney and Isabella Rossellini, it's also mine. Go ahead; celebrate my birthday and don't worry about the cost!" - Ernie J Zelinski

"I'll be one year younger having missed my birthday and my mirror confirms it; so what's wrong with that." - Francis Norris, 1st Earl of Berkshire

"I am the guy dressing up in, you know, the caveman outfit for the kids birthday parties." - Rob Lowe

"I have been asked to pose for Penthouse on my hundredth birthday. Everybody is going to be sorry." - Dolly Parton

"Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!" - Norm Macdonald

"Someone once I asked my son Cruz, 'When's your birthday?' and he told them, 'It's just after Fashion Week!'" - Victoria Beckham

"Christmas can be transformed into a celebration more attuned to honoring the One whose birthday we celebrate." - Erwin W. Lutzer

"I have the same birthday as George Washington. No I don't. I don't even know who George Washington is." - Andrew VanWyngarden

"I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife's grave. Then I joined the army." - John Scalzi

"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns

"If life is a birthday cake let my face be smeared with its icing of cognac and kindness." - Aberjhani

"Love, light & blessings be On this day I wish to say 'Health & Happiness to come your way' Happy Birthday" - Billie Jean King

"Extra special birthday wishes are sent to you today, to wish you love and happiness in every single way." - Susan Smith

"Happy birthday greetings is being sent your way, with everything which is good, for your wonderful day." - Susan Smith

"Thanks to you, I always am so happy. Now I want to give you all the happiness on your birthday." - Richard Bach

"If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people." - Anthony

"He will find out the hard way on his birthday that he has got a present he never wanted" - Graham Earl

"That day which you fear as being the end of all things is the birthday of your eternity." - Seneca the Younger



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