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Umpire Quotes

RELATED QUOTES

"A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice" - Ban Johnson

"Just death, kind umpire of men's miseries." - William Shakespeare

"My favorite umpire is a dead one." - Johnny Evers

"Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is... well, an umpire." - Ron Luciano

"Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is . . . well, an umpire." - Ron Luciano

"Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire." - Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, marquise du Deffand

"Rules of society are nothing; ones conscience is the umpire." - Madame Dudevant

"The ultimate umpire of all things in life is - fact." - Agnes C. Laut

"I just said he (Umpire Dale Scott) needed glasses}}" - Carlos Zambrano

"Chaos umpire sits, And by decision more embroils the fray." - John Milton

"Peace is the umpire for doing the will of God." - Edwin Louis Cole

"Stay in college, kids. Otherwise, you may become an umpire." - Andy Roddick

"You can't know what it's like to be a major league umpire unless you were a major league umpire." - Doug Harvey

"A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice. He's there all afternoon but when the game is over, you don't even remember his name." - Ban Johnson

"Most plays that are missed by the umpire are caused by the umpire not reading those cues early enough and making the proper adjustments." - Jim Evans

"I was a great base umpire, but I was the most mediocre plate umpire to ever come into the major leagues." - Doug Harvey

"The roughest thing I ever said to an umpire was, 'Are you sure?'" - Rod Laver

"The umpire signals a bye with the air of a weary stalk" - John Arlott

"Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire." - Casey Stengel

"When politicians complain about the media, it strikes me as resembling footballers complaining about the umpire." - Tony Abbott

"Cardinal rule for all hitters with two strikes on them: Never trust the umpire." - Robert Smith

"Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing." - Ron Luciano

"I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes." - Leo Durocher

"You argue with the umpire because there is nothing else you can do about it." - Leo Durocher

"An angry player can't argue with the back of an umpire who is walking away." - Bill Klem

"Your job is to umpire for the ball and not the player." - Bill Klem

"In case of dispute, the umpire shall throw it straight into the field." - James Naismith

"Stay in school kids or you'll end up being an umpire." - Andy Roddick

"I am deeply saddened and shocked at the loss of umpire Wally Bell." - Joe Torre

"You can't touch the umpire. You can't spit on the umpire. I know that. But you just get to the point where you're just, There, I got that off my chest." - Milton Bradley

"Anyone interested in becoming a professional umpire and becoming eligible to work in the minor leagues must attend one of the two umpire schools sanctioned by Major League Baseball." - Jim Evans

"On the whole, life is unfair in the way it works out. It is a game played without an umpire!" - Ursula Bloom

"I want to stress again one aspect of the game which is most important. Never argue with an umpire." - Ian Botham

"A good umpire, like a good FBI agent, is never noticed if he is doing his job." - Thomas Boswell

"I get what I desire, it's my empire And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire" - Nicki Minaj

"Umpire Harold Bird, having a wonderful time, signalling everything in the world, including stopping traffic coming on from behind." - John Arlott

"She'll be evaluated like any other Double-A umpire. Major League Baseball has never attempted to influence our decision" - Mike Fitzpatrick

"The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself." - Goran Ivanisevic

"Ed (Runge), you're the second best umpire in the league. The other twenty-three are tied for first." - Carl Yastrzemski

"The public wouldn't like the perfect umpire in every game. It would kill off baseball's greatest alibi - 'We was robbed.'" - Billy Evans

"The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order." - Neville Cardus

"The way we have been playing, I might tell my players not to cross the picket line (umpire strike of 1979)." - Whitey Herzog

"Being an umpire wasn't such a tough job. You really have to understand only two things and that's maintaing discipline and knowing the rule book." - Cal Hubbard

"I am the batsman and the bat, / I am the bowler and the ball, / The umpire, the pavilion cat, / The roller, pitch, and stumps, and all." - Andrew Lang

"The system is in place whereby if an umpire cries off, or both as was the case here, those umpires are to be replaced." - Mark Webber

"A baseball fan is a spectator sitting 500 feet from home plate, who can see better than an umpire standing five feet away." - Anonymous

"In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out." - Larry Goetz

"The best recommendation for an umpire in the old days was: "He licked somebody in the Three-I League. He ought to do." - Ty Cobb

"I couldn't see well enough to play (baseball) when I was a boy, so they gave me a special job - they made me an umpire." - Harry S Truman

"It isn't enough for an umpire to merely know what he's doing. He has to look as though he knows what he's doing, too." - Larry Goetz

"Chaos umpire sits And by decision more embroils the fray by which he reigns: next him high arbiter Chance governs all." - John Milton

"Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it." - Red Barber

"Anyone who votes for McGowan is 100 percent right. He was a great umpire. He belongs in the Hall of Fame." - Al Barlick

"The way I see it, an umpire must be perfect on the first day of the season and then get better every day." - Nestor Chylak

"In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you." - Leo Durocher

"My dad was a carpenter and I would work with him during the summer and umpire on the nights I wasn't playing." - Jim Evans

"Take pride in your work at all times. Remember, respect for an umpire is created off the field as well as on." - Ford Frick

"I set out to be the best umpire of my time. But I don't know what it takes to be great." - Doug Harvey

"To me, there is no more conscientious umpire in the Major Leagues than Jim Joyce. He gives you a hellacious effort every time." - Tony La Russa

"Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile." - Christy Mathewson

"I must admit, I was born to officiate; I was made to officiate. I miss it. I knew why I was doing it. God made me to umpire." - Doug Harvey

"I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands." - Babe Ruth

"The job of arguing with the umpire belongs to the manager, because it won't hurt the team if he gets thrown out of the game." - Earl Weaver

"Strike one the Umpire said. From the bleachers black with people there rose a sullen roar, Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore, Kill him! Kill the Umpire! shouted some one from the stand - And it's likely they'd have done it had not Casey raised his hand." - Ernest Thayer

"There's absolutely no excuse for throwing a piece of equipment on an umpire or any player. You can argue your point and at times may accidentally bump an umpire, but to consciously throw a piece of equipment at someone is unforgivable." - Brad Ausmus

"The part of the game that fans will soon miss: the argument between manager and umpire! There was something special about watching a manger and umpire both convinced they were totally right, but knowing that one had to be wrong. As an ump, those moments made my job fun, and getting 'nose-to-nose' was part of my job description." - Doug Harvey

"Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules. They apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire." - John Roberts

"Do you have to be like a second-grade dropout to be an umpire? Did you go to school until you were 8 years old? I think you quit school before you were 10. Stay in school kids or you'll end up being an umpire." - Andy Roddick

"The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal." - Kurt Vonnegut

"Somebody has to keep score and I decided I was going to do it. I'm a born score-keeper and I realize, like an umpire, that my decisions may cause distress." - Gore Vidal

"There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'" - Ogden Nash

"Every man's reason is his own rightful umpire. This principle, with that of acquiescence in the will of the majority, will preserve us free and prosperous as long as they are sacredly observed." - Thomas Jefferson

"No one ever grew up intending to be an umpire, except perhaps my friend Bill Haller. His brother Tom wanted to be a catcher, so an affinity for masks must run in that family." - Ron Luciano

"You had to pitch in and out. The zone didn't belong to the hitters it belonged to the pitchers. Today, if you pitch too far inside, the umpire would stop you right there. I don't think it's fair." - Juan Marichal

"And I will place within them as a guide My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear Light after light well used they shall attain, And to the end persisting, safe arrive." - John Milton

"Yes, I was in that game where George Brett hit that home run. Billy saw there was too much pine tar on the bat and he went to the umpire, the next thing we knew they were fighting about it." - Bert Campaneris

"Some fans have a mistaken opinion of the average umpire. He is human, all reports to the contrary. Every fellow who is successful is conscientious to almost a fault." - Billy Evans

"Our students learn more in 30 days than one could learn in 30 years without our training. To really maximize your potential as an umpire, you need to get a solid foundation as soon as you can." - Jim Evans

"When I was 14, I played in a summer league. One night the chief umpire asked me if I would like to try umpiring. There was a Little League tournament coming up and he needed more umpires than he had." - Jim Evans

"Sometimes you've just got to let an umpire know that you're not satisfied with his decision. That they've missed the play in your opinion. Not that it's going to do you any good, but you've got to let them know." - Tommy Lasorda

"You had to pitch in and out. The zone didn't belong to the hitters; it belonged to the pitchers. Today, if you pitch too far inside, the umpire would stop you right there. I don't think it's fair." - Juan Marichal

"It is the duty of the Umpire to determine all questions submitted to him according to these laws, when they apply, and according to his best judgment when they do not apply." - Howard Staunton

"Since people, in a competitive or any other society, are by no means always just to each other, some regulation by the state in its capacity of umpire is unavoidable, What must be kept in mind is that the greatest in of all is done when the umpire forgets that he too is bound by the rules, and begins to make them as between contestants in behalf of his own prejudices." - Felix Morley

"We often imagine that the court serves as a sort of neutral umpire controlling the warring political branches. But this is mostly myth. The justices of the Supreme Court are themselves actors in the struggle for power, and when they intervene, they think carefully about how their decisions will affect the courts own legitimacy and authority." - Noah Feldman

"The existence of a free market does not of course eliminate the need for government. On the contrary, government is essential both as a forum for determining the "rule of the game" and as an umpire to interpret and enforce the rules decided on." - Milton Friedman

"If custom is to avail for proof of soundness, we too, surely, may advance our prevailing custom; and if they reject this, we are surely not bound to follow theirs. Let the inspired Scripture, then, be our umpire, and the vote of truth will surely be given to those whose dogmas are found to agree with the Divine words." - Gregory of Nyssa

"I recoil with horror at the ferociousness of man. Will nations never devise a more rational umpire of differences than force? Are there no means of coercing injustice more gratifying to our nature than a waste of the blood of thousands and of the labor of millions of our fellow creatures?" - Thomas Jefferson

"I think umpires have too much power, without any system of checks and balances and the more money a player makes, the more the umpire tries to show off that power to him. Unfortunately, since I signed my contract my strike zone has suddenly become a lot larger." - Ozzie Smith

"I remember once in high school the umpire called me out at third base when I was sure I was safe. I got so mad I took out my glass eye, handed it to him and said, Try this. I got such a laugh you wouldnt believe." - Peter Falk

"The problem with art is, it's not like the game of golf where you put the ball in the hole. There's no umpire; there's no judge. There are no rules. It's one of its problems. But it's also one of the great things about art. It becomes a question of what lasts." - Richard Prince

"I was real, real sad about that play. Four more outs to throw a no-hitter... I was really sad. I saw the play on the field and thought he was out. But he's human (umpire Bill Miller) and anybody can make a mistake." - Carlos Zambrano

"The existence of a free market does not of course eliminate the need for government. On the contrary, government is essential both as a forum for determining the rule of the game and as an umpire to interpret and enforce the rules decided on." - Milton Friedman

"One of the things that I noticed in war was how difficult it was for our soldiers, at first, to realize that there are no rules to war. Our men were raised in sports, where a referee runs a football game, or an umpire a baseball game, and so forth." - Dwight D Eisenhower

"We often imagine that the court serves as a sort of neutral umpire controlling the warring political branches. But this is mostly myth. The justices of the Supreme Court are themselves actors in the struggle for power, and when they intervene, they think carefully about how their decisions will affect the court's own legitimacy and authority." - Noah Feldman

"Whoever has not experienced the pleasure of taking a young lady to her first game of ball should seize the first opportunity to do so. Her remarks about plays, her opinions of different players and the umpire, and the questions she will ask concerning the game, are all too funny to be missed." - John Montgomery Ward

"Chemistry is really about two people who like to act together, I think. It's like tennis in the most cliched way. It's like if you hit the ball, they hit the ball back, and they don't hit it into the stands, and they don't put the ball in their pocket and walk off - and they don't argue with the umpire, you know?" - David Duchovny

"I say to you, you want a thrill, volunteer to be an umpire. I'd like you to go just work the bases some day. Just go do that. You're going to love it. Try the slow-pitch stuff. You'll love it. Ask my son - he tried it! He said, 'I've never seen so many idiots in all my life.'" - Doug Harvey

"If you're a photographer, they give you a camera. If you're a writer, they give you a typewriter. If you're an umpire, they give you an unseen object and they call it a strike zone, and nobody seems to agree with you no matter what you call." - Doug Harvey

"As we all know, Cooperstown is the home of baseball. One of the many duties of the home plate umpire is to make sure that the runner touches home. Well, if you're a true baseball fan, you need to visit Cooperstown. This is home." - Doug Harvey

"There was something special about watching a manager and umpire both convinced they were totally right, but knowing that one had to be wrong. As an ump, those moments made my job fun, and getting 'nose-to-nose' was part of my job description." - Doug Harvey

"I just umpire. That's what I've done. That's all I can do. I'm one of the fortunate ones on God's earth. I found what God meant for me to do. People ask if I like working home plate best. I just want to be between the white lines. That's where I belong, and I wouldn't have it any other way." - Doug Harvey

"If either player abandon the game by quitting the table in anger, or in an otherwise offensive manner; or by momentarily resigning the game; or refuses to abide by the decision of the Umpire, the game must be scored against him." - Howard Staunton

"I want you to know that I am one of the more fortunate people in life. There aren't too many of us that somebody selects and says, 'You know, that guy ought to be an umpire.' That's what happened to me." - Doug Harvey

"I was correct in every call I made, regardless of what managers, players or replay may have said. To me, that's the reason I'm in the Hall of Fame. If I didn't umpire with conviction, I wouldn't have made it for long." - Doug Harvey

"When asked what he was fighting for, General Washington, in writing to General Thomas, said the object was 'neither glory nor extent of territory, but a defense of all that is dear and valuable in life.' He must have been an umpire. That's what umpiring is about." - Doug Harvey

"My first and only experience in baseball, the coach signed me up; he didn't tell me there's a thing called the curveball. I didn't know that. So the ball's coming at me and I start backing out, and then it broke inside. And the umpire says, 'Strike one!' And I'm saying, 'How is that a strike? It almost hit me!'" - Magic Johnson

"This bill would renounce the safe, proper, and acceptable role for Government as a referee of disputes between the governed. It would interpose the Government as a biased protagonist, armed with the awesome authority of the Federal Government, in addition to rulemaking and umpire powers. The broad grants of power to the Attorney General to initiate and intervene in civil actions would go far toward transforming him into George Orwell's 'Big Brother' of '1984,' in the year 1964." - Strom Thurmond

"But, you may ask, if the two departments [i.e., federal and state] should claim each the same subject of power, where is the common umpire to decide ultimately between them? In cases of little importance or urgency, the prudence of both parties will keep them aloof from the questionable ground; but if it can neither be avoided nor compromised, a convention of the States must be called to ascribe the doubtful power to that department which they may think best." - Thomas Jefferson

"We are to remember what an umpire Nature is; what a greatness, composure of depth and tolerance there is in her. You take wheat to cast into the Earth's bosom; your wheat may be mixed with chaff, chopped straw, barn-sweepings, dust and all imaginable rubbish; no matter: you cast it into the kind just Earth; she grows the wheat, - the whole rubbish she silently absorbs, shrouds it in, says nothing of the rubbish." - Thomas Carlyle

"When I was a teenager, I was an umpire for a competitive league for 8- to 9-year-olds. I was really bad at it because I didn't know all the rules, and all these kids were better athletes than me. I made a bad call, and this dad snapped on me. Then he dumped his trash from his cooler, and I had to kick him out of the stands." - Adam Devine

"In my dealing with my child, my Latin and Greek, my accomplishments and my money stead me nothing; but as much soul as I have avails. If I am wilful, he sets his will against mine, one for one, and leaves me, if I please, the degradation of beating him by my superiority of strength. But if I renounce my will, and act for the soul, setting that up as umpire between us two, out of his young eyes looks the same soul; he reveres and loves with me." - Ralph Waldo Emerson



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