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Palin Quotes


"Sarah Palin is a compelling political figure." - Michele Bachmann

"On Sarah Palin: Sarah Palin met the wombshifter! Old Sarah and the wombshifter." - Mike Tyson

"I think Sarah Palin is amazing. I totally admire her." - Nadine Dorries

"Sarah Palin met the wombshifter! Old Sarah and the wombshifter." - Mike Tyson

"Tina Fey could run this country before Sarah Palin could!" - Nikki Reed

"If Palin lawyer thomas van flein thinks palin has been defamed he is delusional. Birds of a feather...." - David Shuster

"Sarah Palin, part-time Governor of Alaska, is angry because Michele Obama is encouraging kids to eat healthy. Sarah Palin believes the government shouldn't tell us what to do. Sarah Palin believes she should tell us what to do." - David Letterman

"Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden." - Craig Ferguson

"In fact Sarah Palin has created more jobs than Obama has. She created eleven jobs fact-checking at the AP just for the Palin autobiography." - Ann Coulter

"Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school." - Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she's demanding that we invade 'Tsunami.'" - Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin has been tagged and released back into the wild." - Jon Stewart

"I hired Sarah Palin because she was hot and got ratings." - Roger Ailes

"Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part." - Andy Borowitz

"[Sarah] Palin is solidifying her status as a bona fide American cultural heroine." - Camille Paglia

"Lady Liberty and Sarah Palin are lit by the same torch." - Michele Bachmann

"I am not a clone of Sarah Palin. I have my own thoughts." - Christine O'Donnell

"I got all the Sarah Palin I need for one lifetime." - Meghan McCain

"Palin is smart, politically skilled, courageous and likable. Her convention and debate performances were impressive." - David Brooks

"Sarah Palin knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America." - John Mccain

"You know, I just want to say to her (Sarah Palin), just very quickly...F- you." - Jon Stewart

"It is hard to know what Sarah Palin means in Republican politics anymore." - Rachel Maddow

"I have students whose fathers are voting for Sarah Palin. It's wild." - Anne Waldman

"Any party that would put Sarah Palin up on a pedestal will never have my support." - Jesse Ventura

"Palin seems to have forgotten that her poll ratings have plummeted since the summer of 2011." - Ron Fournier

"Anything may be possible in America, but a Palin presidency is virtually implausible." - Ron Fournier

"In choosing Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, John McCain has chosen for the future." - Rudy Giuliani

"Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar." - David Letterman

"Sarah Palin is joining Fox News. The new slogan is 'hair and unbalanced.'" - David Letterman

"Governor Palin leans far closer to 'spokesperson' than representative of the people." - Adam Mckay

"I was very inspired by the videos of the crowds at the Palin rallies." - Jill Sobule

"I like that lady - Sarah Palin. She's great. I like the cut of her jib." - Paul Johnson

"I do have to give it up for Sarah Palin on one account. She is brave." - Adam Mckay

"I'd vote for Mickey Mouse before I voted for John McCain and Sarah Palin." - Edgar Bronfman Sr

"Sarah Palin. Remember Sarah Palin? She is adorable. She is back on the campaign trail. Really. She's going to campaign in the Senate runoff in Georgia. As soon as she finds out where Georgia is." - Craig Ferguson

"Which would you like sitting in the oval office dealing with it (a major crisis)? Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, John Edwards, Geraldine Ferraro, Jimmy Carter,... or Sarah Palin? Personally, I would pick Palin." - Daniel Henninger

"They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip." - David Letterman

"Sarah Palin gave a speech in South Korea. Just what the Koreans needed: Two crazy dictators in fashionable lady's glasses." - Conan O'Brien

"Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids." - Bill Maher

"Asked who attacked America on 9/11, [Sarah Palin] suggested several times that it was Saddam Hussein." - John Heilemann

"Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!" - George Lopez

"Barack Obama makes more gaffes than George Bush and Sarah Palin combined and is never called on it." - Rush Limbaugh

"I have the greatest appreciation for Governor [Sarah] Palin and her family. There`s great joy to know them." - John Mccain

"John McCain famously has been incredibly loyal to Sarah Palin ever since he picked her as his running mate." - Rachel Maddow

"Donald Trump said it was his idea for [Sarah] Palin to bring up her son at the rally." - Chris Hayes

"As much as I disagree with Sarah Palin, there's no denying that she was the victim of sexism." - Jessica Valenti

"As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president." - Bill Maher

"How many of you watched the vice presidential debate expecting Sarah Palin to screw up? Be honest." - Jay Leno

"As opposed to the agenda from people like you to boost Sarah Palin, who is clearly unqualified." - David Shuster

"That palin would now be a 'leader/role model' for any group of repubs shows how far gop has fallen." - David Shuster

"Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life." - John Oliver

"I was not going to attack Palin just for being a woman appealing for support from other women." - Hillary Clinton

"I think when Sarah Palin opened her mouth and started talking, the more she talked, the less appealing she became." - Barry Levinson

"I'm in, like, dating Babylon. Like, I go on dates with men and, literally, like Sarah Palin will come up in like the first 20 minutes, and that doesn't put me in the mood. Like, talking about Sarah Palin. And they just want to know gossip, and I'm just kind of taking a little hiatus from dating right now, because I just don't want to talk about Sarah Palin." - Meghan McCain

"Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'" - Bill Maher

"John McCains choice of Sarah Palin as running mate is the towering example of his poor judgment. Palins ignorance of public affairs is monumental." - Edgar Bronfman Sr

"On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'" - Conan O'Brien

"This Sarah Palin phenomenon is very curious. I think somebody watching us from Mars-they would think the country has gone insane." - Noam Chomsky

"I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person." - Lewis Black

"There is great variation in brain power all the way from Einstien on one hand to Sarah Palin on the other." - Richard Dawkins

"I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin." - Libba Bray

"Folks, Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from Alaska. Mitt Romney talks like he's only seen Russia by watching 'Rocky IV.'" - John F Kerry

"I want you [Sarah Palin] to know you have my support. But please look into protection for your family. An attempt on you could bring the republic down." - Glenn Beck

"If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane." - Bill Maher

"I certainly wish Gov. Palin no harm. I'd just like her to explain to me how she can hold such outrageous views...and then go back to Alaska." - Sandra Bernhard

"Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin are sowing the seeds of hatred and division, and there is no need for this hostility in our political discourse." - John Lewis

"Sarah Palin is now the guy who hangs out in the high school parking lot, showing off his car, five years after he graduated." - Rachel Maddow

"Let's not forget, Sarah Palin may not have a golden touch, but, she gave Christine O'Donnell candidate a big touch that got her over the top." - Chris Matthews

"Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?" - Robin Williams

"Consider Palin for President? The most powerful job on earth? You don't give the dumb cheerleader the Uzi. That's in the Bible." - Christopher Titus

"The broader question if Sarah Palin becomes vice president, will she be shortchanging her kids or will she be shortchanging the country?" - Amy Robach

"I need to know if she [Sarah Palin] thinks dinosaurs were here four thousand years ago... because she's going to have the nuclear code." - Matt Damon

"My advice to Sarah Palin is, you've got a hot bod; don't keep it to yourself. Why wear a pantsuit when you can wear a swimsuit?" - Paris Hilton

"What about Sarah Palin. Donald Trump had suggested she would be in his cabinet if he won. Is she going to be in?" - Megyn Kelly

"I saw that with Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin in 2008. I mean, I came away from the 2008 campaign feeling really icky." - Kellyanne Conway

"They determined who got the first question by a coin toss, to which Sarah Palin said, 'Oh, what a coincidence, that's how I got picked.'" - Jay Leno

"It is sometimes hard to know what Sarah Palin means, just on a day to day basis. Sometimes it is hard to follow what she is talking about." - Rachel Maddow

"I respect Sarah Palin. I appreciate her and her husband enormously. I think she will continue to play a major role in the future of the Republican Party." - John Mccain

"Sarah Palin is an attractive candidate, but based on her background, she only was governor for what, two years. I don`t think she passed that test." - Dick Cheney

"Wacko Glenn Beck is a sad answer to the Sarah Palin endorsement that [Ted] Cruz so desperately wanted. Glenn is a failing, crying, lost soul." - Donald Trump

"The [Sarah ]Palin endorsement as sort of vouching for Donald Trump is all about. She is the sort of tribune of not conservatism as ideology." - Chris Hayes

"The backlash to [Sarah] Palin`s comments was swift, with veterans and veterans` groups criticizing the apparent politicization of post-traumatic stress disorder." - Chris Hayes

"I think that Sarah Palin really missed the chance to educate the public on what some of the challenges her son is actually facing." - Jon Soltz

"Her [Sarah Palin] son went to Iraq under George W. Bush, but it gives us a chance to explain what post-traumatic stress disorder is." - Jon Soltz

"I think if we really break it down and talk about post-traumatic stress disorder, it`s very different than the way Sarah Palin explained it." - Jon Soltz

"Of course, Republicans still can't believe that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. But then Democrats can't believe that Sarah Palin wrote a book." - Jay Leno

"Well I think that, if you want to look at polarizing people right now, I wouldn't look at Palin, I'd look at Barack Obama." - Laura Ingraham

"If I had it to do over, I'd vote for Obama without hesitation. I'm very thankful that McCain and Palin aren't in office." - Charles Foster Johnson

"I did a couple of sketch shows with Mike Palin and Terry Jones... and then I got hired by Granada to do a weekly topical show." - Diana Quick

"Sarah Palin embarrasses herself almost immediately upon opening her mouth to speak or upon moving her fingers to send messages to her dull flock." - Henry Rollins

"I don't usually admire Sarah Palin, but when she was making fun of this 'hopey changey stuff,' she was right: there was nothing there." - Noam Chomsky

"Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?" - John Cleese

"At one point, Sarah Palin sent her husband instructions to stock up on 'fresh fruit and veggies' for the kids, and 'as little processed foods as possible.'" - Bill Dedman

"I actually prepared Vice President Biden for his debate in the last election. I played Sarah Palin. It's a little tough debating a woman." - Jennifer Granholm

"If I were Sarah Palin, would I want to sit in an interview with someone who was secretly out to get me? Probably not." - Megyn Kelly

"I don't know Gov. Palin. I've certainly seen her, since she came on the scene, you know, running with John McCain." - Linda Mcmahon

"Americans have gotten to know Sarah Palin. They know that she's a role model to women and other - and reformers all over America. She's a reformer." - John Mccain

"Final installment of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving into a tree, microwaving your head, and getting stabbed in the eye with a carrot." - David Letterman

"Sarah Palin made her debut as a Fox News analyst. They finally found a job that she's not under-qualified for." - David Letterman

"John McCain said that Sarah Palin is still a force in the Republican Party. Then he got in his car and backed over his mailbox." - David Letterman

"John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as running mate is the towering example of his poor judgment. Palin's ignorance of public affairs is monumental." - Edgar Bronfman Sr

"The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Political experts say that if Obama keeps insulting Palin, he could lose the election and win a job at MSNBC." - Conan O'Brien

"Last night's vice presidential debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin drew much higher ratings than the presidential debate. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah, Biden attracted viewers who enjoyed his previous debate appearances, and Palin attracted viewers who enjoyed the movie 'Fargo.'" - Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin was delivering a speech and she said 'refudiate.' It's not a word - you have refute and repudiate, and she combined them. A lot of times that will happen and people will confuse combinations of words. I remember a couple years ago John McCain mistakenly combined the words Vice President and Palin." - David Letterman

"In her new book, Sarah Palin says she once gave up chocolate for an entire year just to prove she could do it. Still think she's not qualified to be President?" - Jimmy Fallon

"My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes." - Andrea Fay Friedman

"Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann represent an existential threat to the Democratic Party the way that twenty years ago Clarence Thomas as a black man represented to liberals and the Democratic Party." - Andrew Breitbart

"The New Oxford Dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's word 'refudiate' to be the 2010 Word of the Year. Palin was honored and said she would do her best to 'dismangle' the English language." - Conan O'Brien

"There's a new children's book that's coming out that features Sarah Palin as a hero. I don't want to give away the ending, but we finally find out who shot Bambi's mother." - Conan O'Brien

"In Sarah Palin's new book, she says when she first laid eyes on her future husband, she said out loud, 'Thank you, God,' which is the same thing the Democrats said when they first laid eyes on Sarah Palin." - Conan O'Brien

"But to say that Sarah Palin and the tea party movement is responsible for vandalism or threats is just a way to dismiss the American people and, and their dissatisfaction with this health care bill" - Laura Ingraham

"Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking, and she's hoping that the effects will eventually wear off." - Jay Leno

"I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a failed vice presidential candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal." - Stephen Colbert

"Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can't even commit to being uncommitted." - John Oliver

"I, my own damn self, am not a Tea Party supporter. I disagree with them on social liberties, our overseas wars, Obama's birthplace, Sarah Palin, and the conspicuous absence of tea at their rallies." - Penn Jillette

"We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal." - Bill Maher

"The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?" - Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin uses me as a laugh line in her stump speeches. If you're willing to turn me into a joke, you should also be willing to talk to me." - Rachel Maddow

"Cultural stupidity accounts for virtually every aspect of Sarah Palin, both as a person and a political icon. Which, come to think of it, may be a pretty good reason not to misunderstimate her." - Joe Bageant

"Republican presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward if he runs into Sarah and Bristol Palin at Fox News." - Jay Leno

"Did you hear this - Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she's demanding that we invade Tsunami. I mean she said, These Tsunamians will not get away with this. Oh speaking of dumb twats, did you..." - Bill Maher

"It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year." - Craig Ferguson

"On one hand, liberals are enraged at the heinousness of Mark Sanford - whom they didn't vote for - for not resigning and, on the other, they're enraged at Palin - whom they also didn't vote for - for resigning." - Ann Coulter

"Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin." - Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin is an empty vessel ready to be filled by ideology that she doesn't even understand, and that is really scary. Nothing is more frightening than an empty vessel in power." - Chris Matthews

"Sarah Palin is very pro-life of course, unless the life is that of an Iraqi civilian or a wolf running frantically from a roaring helicopter while being strafed with ribbons of automatic weapons fire." - Seth Macfarlane

"When words come out of politician's mouth that are linguistically incorrect, people see it reflecting their intelligence. Sarah Palin was called out for "refudiate," which seemed to combine refute and repudiate. One favourite Bushism was "misunderestimate."" - Ben Zimmer

"With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000." - Jay Leno

"John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah Palin is already driving McCain around to look at assisted living facilities." - Jay Leno

"Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out on the ice and skate around reporters' questions, so it should be interesting." - Jay Leno

"During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!" - David Letterman

"You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy; just get ready." - David Letterman

"Sarah Palin has revealed she has tried marijuana, but she did not like it. You know, it's amazing: 200 million Americans have smoked marijuana. The only ones who don't like it seem to be elected officials. Ever notice that?" - Jay Leno

"A "New York Times"/CBS poll found 59 percent of the country didn`t think Sarah Palin was prepare for the job that John McCain had picked her for." - Rachel Maddow

"Sarah Palin is backing in be to Republican presidential politics in a big way with a big high profile endorsement decision.That is, I think, probably going to cause a lot of upset in one particular part of the Republican establishment." - Rachel Maddow

"Sarah Palin, suggesting her son`s arrest on domestic violence charges was a result of post-traumatic stress disorder and partially due to President Obama`s lack of respect for men and women in uniform." - Chris Hayes

"I was shocked [of Sarah Palin ], because beating up, you know, your girlfriend, your spouse, or acts of violence aren`t one of the core symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder." - Jon Soltz

"Not only did I feel hurt that she [Sarah Palin] sort of misdiagnosed all of these veterans, but I think she sort of was wrong in the way she talked about the issue." - Jon Soltz

"Not only did I think that Sarah Palin doesn`t understand what post-traumatic stress disorder is, I thought she gave veterans a poor name by sort of arguing that this is something that`s common in our community." - Jon Soltz

"She [Sarah Palin] by no - has any basic understanding of what post -traumatic stress disorder is, so I think it gives the rest of us an opportunity to have a real conversation about some of these problems." - Jon Soltz

"I've said it before, I'll say it again, Sarah Palin will never recover from this... No matter what people say, no matter what these polls, she has no future." - David Shuster

"Conservatives like Palin and Reagan and others do seem to love the series, but so do people of all political stripes and backgrounds. I speak about the series' "radiant simplicity."" - Judith Thurman

"But to say that Sarah Palin and the tea party movement is responsible for vandalism or threats is just a way to dismiss the American people and, and their dissatisfaction with this health care bill." - Laura Ingraham

"I have criticisms of Ronald Reagan, but he lives in another universe from the kind of political theater that is represented by people, like Sarah Palin, who aren't really public servants." - Eugene Jarecki

"This weekend the Conservative Political Action Conference, CPAC, featured several speakers including Sarah Palin and Phil Robertson from 'Duck Dynasty.' It was a good weekend for conservatives - and a great weekend for wild animals." - Jimmy Fallon

"Palin, Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and others have made an art form of convincing far too many Americans to suspend their disbelief, and they have severely damaged the ability of our country to have serious discussions about serious challenges." - John Yarmuth

"My view of Sarah Palin is she is the most dynamic figure maybe in politics, even more in some ways than President Obama, who is a little more scripted than she is. He is great with the teleprompter." - Rudy Giuliani

"Sarah Palin is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the modern United States. As a representative of our political system, she's a new low in reptilian villainy, the ultimate cynical masterwork of puppeteers like Karl Rove." - Matt Taibbi

"Sarah Palin is treated like a bimbo sometimes, but she has never given the public the respect they deserve. She acts silly and doesn't know stuff. She didn't even finish her term." - Gail Collins

"Sarah Palin is an heir to the women's movement. She has not been constrained by gender. At no point in her life has she thought, 'I can't do that because I'm a woman.'" - Gail Collins



Palin, Sarah Palin,