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Obituary Quotes

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"There's no bad publicity except an obituary." - Brendan Behan

"All publicity is good, except an obituary notice." - Brendan Behan

"My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section." - Norm Crosby

"An autobiography is obituary in serial form with the last installment missing." - Quentin Crisp

"If you don't have a nasty obituary you probably didn't matter." - Freeman Dyson

"So what if someone wrote your obituary... that doesn't mean you are obligated to die." - Lou Holtz

"What a writer's obituary should read - he wrote the books, then he died." - William Faulkner

"I have to erase my Google search histories, because they always lead to an obituary." - Carrie Brownstein

"An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last instalment missing." - Quentin Crisp

"An obituary should be an exercise in contemporary history, not a funeral oration." - Peter Utley

"There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary." - Brendan Behan

"An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing." - Quentin Crisp

"I don't think most people know what's going to be in their obituary, but I do." - Robert Mankoff

"When a writer dies you get a higher standard of obituary." - Arthur Smith

"I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast." - George Burns

"I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page." - Art Buchwald

"Read your own obituary notice; they say you live longer. Gives you second wind. New lease of life." - James Joyce

"Hang onto your sense of humor. I picture my obituary : The sexiest man alive is now dead." - Mark Harmon

"Everybody is a potential murderer. I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices." - Clarence Darrow

"One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping..." - Dana Gould

"I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up." - Albert Brooks

"Men in the uniform of Wall Street retirement: black Chesterfield coat, rimless glasses and the Times folded to the obituary page.." - Jimmy Breslin

"We're all killers at heart . . . . I have never taken anybody's life, but I have often read obituary notices with considerable satisfaction." - Clarence Darrow

"We're all killers at heart.... I have never taken anybody's life, but I have often read obituary notices with considerable satisfaction." - Clarence Darrow

"I always wondered what hearing one's own obituary might sound like, and I sort of feel like I may have just heard part of it at least." - Spencer Abraham

"A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward." - George Jean Nathan

"Biography is a very definite region bounded on the north by history, on the south by fiction, on the east by obituary, and on the west by tedium." - Philip Guedalla

"You know, one of the only times I ever wrote about art was the obituary of Warhol that I did for the Village Voice." - Barbara Kruger

"Live so that when the final summons comes you will leave something more behind you than an epitaph on a tombstone or an obituary in a newspaper." - Billy Sunday

"Anyone who has to write an obituary for me one day will probably say, 'She did absolute depths of agony really well.' I'm not, however, an unhappy person." - Lesley Manville

"women are quoted as sources and appear on interview shows much less frequently than men. ... But the by-product of such anonymity may be immortality, for women are also less likely to find themselves written up on the obituary page." - Kathleen Hall Jamieson

"I don't wonder about anything. I'm too old to wonder. I think the most important thing is to wake-up with a pulse. I look in the obituary columns. If I'm not in it, I get out of bed." - Hector Elizondo

"Al-Qaeda's obituary has been written countless times over the decade. Each iteration has proved to be ephemeral, as the moment has continually shown itself to have a deeper bench than we imagine." - Bruce Hoffman

"This won't look so good in my obituary," Schaffer said dolefully. There was a perceptible edge of strain under the lightly-spoken words."Gave his life for his country in a ladies' lavatory in Upper Bavaria." - Alistair Maclean

"If you could have a famous writer, dead or alive, write an obituary for you and really puff you up to have been something you weren't, perhaps, or otherwise take liberties with your memory, what writer would you choose?" - Padgett Powell

"All men have an emotion to kill; when they strongly dislike someone they involuntarily wish he was dead. I have never killed anyone, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction." - Clarence Darrow

"If you could have a famous writer, dead or alive, write an obituary for you and really puff you up to have been something you were', perhaps, or otherwise take liberties with your memory, what writer would you choose?" - Padgett Powell

"You should never write your own resume, personal ad, or obituary. In all three cases it is better to show your humility by letting someone else lie for you." - David Hayden

"He once told a reporter he wanted his obituary to be short - just make it born in Russia, first lesson at 3, debut at 7, debut in America in 1917." - Jascha Heifetz

"We shall see later on that the diversity of the forms of death that circulate invisibly is the cause of the peculiar unexpectedness of obituary notices in the newspapers." - Marcel Proust

"He once told a reporter he wanted his obituary to be short - "just make it born in Russia, first lesson at 3, debut at 7, debut in America in 1917"." - Jascha Heifetz

"Some people want to amass a great amount of wealth and make a great looking obituary. I'm going to die with more money than is good to leave my son." - Darrell Issa

"The savage repression of blacks, which can be estimated by reading the obituary columns of the nation's dailies, Fred Hampton, etc., has not failed to register on the black inmates." - George Jackson

"When the 'Guardian' is commissioning writers to write obituary pieces about you and your career... it doesn't get much nastier than that. And you've just got to go, 'It doesn't actually matter.'" - James Corden

"I'm fairly certain when I die that the obituary will say, 'Author of 'Angels in America' dies.' Unless I'm completely forgotten, and then it won't say anything at all." - Tony Kushner

"I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up." - Benjamin Franklin

"It's 2013 ... The Time's obituary for Yvonne Brill, renowned rocket scientist, winner of the National Medal of Technology and Innovations, leads with, 'She made a mean beef stroganoff, followed her husband from job to job and took eight years off from work to raise three children. "The world's best mom," her son Matthew said." - Deborah Copaken

"One of the things I can do is to try to put myself in different kinds of movies and that kind of subtly changes my work. By the time my obituary is written, I want there to be a great western and a great comedy." - Ethan Hawke

"A few years ago I wrote two versions of my obituary, the one I wanted and the one I was heading for. They were very different. I realized I needed to make some big changes if I was going to look back and be proud of my life. I am making those changes, and now I have a life worth living." - Roz Savage

"Bast crouched down and began making weird chittering noises. Uh-oh. She was imitating birds. I'd seen enough cats do this when they were stalking. Suddenly my own obituary flashed in my head: Carter Kane, 14, tragically died in Paris wen he was eaten by his sister's cat, Muffin." - Rick Riordan

"When other helpers fail and comforts flee, when the senses decay and the mind moves in a narrower and narrower circle, when the grasshopper is a burden and the postman brings no letters, and even the Royal Family is no longer quite what it was, an obituary column stands fast." - Sylvia Townsend Warner

"It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't" - P G Wodehouse

"In my mind my obituary is done.It is done and it is right. It tells the truth and as awful as it can be, the truth is what matters. It is what I should be remembered by, if I'm remembered at all. Remember the truth. that is all that matters" - James Frey

"Until today, you may not have realized that your life provides the content of your obituary. Just for today, examine your life. Think about all of the things you want to leave behind. Remember, the good thing about doing this today is that you still have time to rewrite your life's content if necessary." - Iyanla Vanzant

"Never was it [Capitalism] imposed on life as a system, or at all. It grew out of life, not all at once but gradually, and is therefore one of the great natural designs. When it was found and identified by such men as Adam Smith, who wrote its bible, and Karl Marx, who wrote its obituary too soon, it was already working." - Garet Garrett

"It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't." - P G Wodehouse

"Do not give alms promiscuously. Select the unworthy poor and make them happy. To give to the deserving is a duty, but to help the improvident, drinking class is clear generosity, so that the donor has a right to be warmed by a selfish pride and count on a most flattering obituary." - George Ade

"[I]n contrast to the common belief that they are the world's greatest cynics, the best journalists are the world's great idealists. They have experienced firsthand the great soothing balance of human existence. For every disgrace there is triumph, for every wrong there is a moment of justice, for every funeral a wedding, for every obituary a birth announcement." - Anna Quindlen

"A common defense among obituary-fanciers such as myself is that the obit is not about death at all. It is about life. This is true since an article about the condition of deadness would make for turgid reading at best." - Tom Rachman

"I've always thought stability was suffocating and deadly. Like, when I read that the kids I went to law school with have stayed at the same firm, I feel like I'm reading an obituary. How much money do you need? Six million, seven million? Put that in the bank and do something else. Get out!" - Glenn Greenwald

"In my book, 'The Big Three in Economics,' I found that the press has frequently and prematurely written the obituary of Adam Smith and his free-market philosophy, only to see a new and more vibrant global marketplace reemerge after being savagely attacked by Keynesians, Marxists, and assorted socialists." - Mark Skousen

"The seed for my novel 'Half Brother' was planted in my mind over twenty years ago, but didn't germinate until late 2007 when I came across the obituary for Washoe, an extraordinary chimpanzee who had learned over 250 words of American Sign Language." - Kenneth Oppel

"I was studying the impacts of fishing on ocean life, while the places that I loved so much continued to decline: less and smaller fish, less corals, and more microbes. I found myself writing the obituary of nature with increasing precision. Unsatisfied and frustrated, I felt like a doctor telling the patient how she is going to die, with excruciating detail. If I were that patient, I would have fired myself and looked for a doctor who would look for a solution." - Enric Sala

"Human stories are practically always about one thing, really, aren't they? Death. The inevitability of death. . . . . . (quoting an obituary) 'There is no such thing as a natural death. Nothing that ever happens to man is natural, since his presence calls the whole world into question. All men must die, but for every man his death is an accident, and even if he knows it he would sense to it an unjustifiable violation.' Well, you may agree with the words or not, but those are the key spring of The Lord Of The Rings" - J R R Tolkien

"About one month before he was killed, when asked by David Frost how his obituary should read: Something about the fact that I made some contribution to either my country, or those who were less well off. I think back to what Camus wrote about the fact that perhaps this world is a world in which children suffer, but we can lessen the number of suffering children, and if you do not do this, then who will do this? I'd like to feel that I'd done something to lessen that suffering." - Robert Kennedy

"Every instinct that is found in any man is in all men. The strength of the emotion may not be so overpowering, the barriers against possession not so insurmountable, the urge to accomplish the desire less keen. With some, inhibitions and urges may be neutralized by other tendencies. But with every being the primal emotions are there. All men have an emotion to kill; when they strongly dislike some one they involuntarily wish he was dead. I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction." - Clarence Darrow



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