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Kids Funny Quotes

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"Kids are funny." - Mark Waters

"I love kids; I think they are fun and funny." - Courtney Thorne Smith

"I love kids; I think they are fun and funny." - Courtney Thornesmith

"There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are." - Vanessa Bayer

"I think it's always funny when you see kids do Shakespeare." - Steve Coogan

"I love my brothers' kids. It's funny - as an uncle, you become so protective of them." - Liam Hemsworth

"People want to bring kids to their level, and they want to make it seem like kids have this thing. It's seen as funny to them." - Mara Wilson

"God turned out to be a bunch of bad little kids playing interstellar Xbox. Isn't that funny?" - Stephen King

"The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny." - Bill Gates

"I know how to make adults laugh pretty well. I don't know if kids think I'm that funny." - Tom Bodett

"Funny is funny is funny." - Bob Newhart

"What a sad business is being funny!" - Charlie Chaplin

"Funny is funny." - Don Rickles

"The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life." - Sean William Scott

"The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life." - Seann William Scott

"Theres no mystery-the EMU Club is a hit! This is a fun, funny adventure that kids will love to read." - Lincoln Peirce

"I'm not focused on the outrageousness. I'm just focused on being funny, and raising my kids. I don't even read the newspaper, I don't read that crap." - Tracy Morgan

"I have 4 kids already, I don't need anymore. I'm a single parent. I'm taking them through Europe and make them play funny instruments." - Ville Valo

"In Italy, I had an Afro, and a lot of the kids came up and felt my hair. It really was funny. I wish I had understood Italian" - Sugar Ray Leonard

"Humor is the oxygen of children's literature. There's a lot of competition for children's time, but even kids who hate to read want to read a funny book." - Sid Fleischman

"I have 4 kids already, I do' need anymore. I'm a single parent. I'm taking them through Europe and make them play funny instruments." - Ville Valo

"I've got kids and that's important. It's funny, you think that there's an expiration date on them and there just isn't." - Bill Murray

"It's funny, there are so many women who are former executives and have taken all that stress and anxiety and transferred it onto their kids." - Ana Gasteyer

"Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny." - Steve Martin

"It's funny how when your kids get sick, they get even cuter when they have a stuffed nose and they mouth breathe." - David Walton

"I happen to be very good with younger actors because I have extremely vivid memories of that time of my life, and kids are just funny." - David M Evans

"When I play discos in Belfast or freshers' week in Oxford, there are 1,800 kids dressed as me. It's odd, it's funny, and it pays really well." - David Hasselhoff

"I have this weird obsession with kids and old people falling. Like, funny falls. It is awful, but it's the thing that makes me laugh the most." - Malin Akerman

"Kids cannot follow stories. They don't know what the hell is going on in a cartoon. They like to see funny visual things happening." - John Kricfalusi

"I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids." - Katy Perry

"Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard." - Michael Gambon

"In Italy, I had an Afro, and a lot of the kids came up and felt my hair. It really was funny. I wish I had understood Italian." - Sugar Ray Leonard

"I have 4 kids already, I don't need anymore. I'm a single parent. I'm taking them through Europe and make them play funny instruments." - Ville Valo

"I'm a woman of a certain age who doesn't have kids and never really settled down ... I enjoy kids but not for long periods. I think they're adorable and funny and sweet, and then I have a headache." - Kim Cattrall

"Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids." - Garry Shandling

"I don't really think differently of making a movie for grownups or making a movie for kids, if it's boring it's boring, so you want it to be entertaining and I think funny is funny whether it's for kids or grownups, the only real difference is language." - Jack Black

"There are the class clowns that are disruptive and the kids laugh and you earn the teacher's disdain, I was the kind of class clown that also cracked the teacher up. I was funny in a way that was not dissing the teacher; I was funny just to be funny." - Jason Mantzoukas

"Kids don't lack capacity, only teachers." - Jim Rohn

"Funny how the new things are the old things." - Rudyard Kipling

"It's funny because it's funny." - David Spade

"Disney cartoons are all rated G. It's really funny. There are kids all over the world who still have complexes over Bambi's father getting shot by the hunter and Bambi's mother getting crisped. But that's the way it's always been. This is the sort of material that appeals to kids. Kids understand it instinctively. They grip it." - Stephen King

"I have prevented my kids from watching MTV at home. It's not safe for kids." - Tom Freston

"The way I survived growing up in Jersey City was by being funny. It wasn't by being tough. Nobody thought of me as a tough kid, except for the kids I beat up." - Michelle Rodriguez

"It's funny-my married friends tell me all the time, 'What you have is so much easier.' When you're doing it on your own, you don't have to [argue over] how you're raising the kids." - Connie Britton

"My kids are funny. They won't eat the heels on a loaf of bread. So I patiently explained to them that they eat rolls, and rolls are all crust, just like heels...and now they won't eat rolls!" - Dik Browne

"I would probably creepily follow my kids around, see how they act, see what they talk about. I record my daughter just talking because the things she says are so funny. I could watch her talk all day." - Kim Kardashian

"As I get older, the character evolves tremendously because I'm married and have kids now and realize certain things are not funny anymore. I threw them out of my act." - Larry The Cable Guy

"I have a passion for teaching kids to become readers, to become comfortable with a book, not daunted. Books shouldn't be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful; and learning to be a reader gives a terrific advantage." - Roald Dahl

"I like cartoons. I like 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.' It's funny! It has things that kids wouldn't get. It's like, if you're mature, you get it. I like that and 'The Fairly OddParents.'" - David Archuleta

"Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny." - Lewis Black

"I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe." - Ricky Schroder

"If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh." - Bill Cosby

"I love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring. It connects you to the world in a new way." - Elton John

"I think it's always funny when you see kids do Shakespeare. When I was at school, I was in Hamlet. I played Claudius, who's supposed to be a 60-year-old man, and I was like 18. It's inherently ridiculous seeing 18-year-old boys with gray beards. That's always funny." - Steve Coogan

"Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it." - Brian P Cleary

"Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good." - Billy Bob Thornton

"And back then it was a lot more risque. This one is a lot more for the family and you can watch this in front of the kids. It's funny and energetic but at the same time it's not something you have to give earmuffs to the kids when it's on." - Joe Torry

"Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids." - Jack Black

"It's funny, my kids and I live together, and I have a lot of actor friends. So my kids think everyone is on television every now and again, since everyone they know pops up here, but there's a whole rap of things they won't watch until they're 16 or 17." - Dallas Roberts

"All directors are control freaks and very obsessive. I get the feeling that directors as kids, they all have had a childhood with not too much contact with other kids. They constructed their own reality and they continue to do it. It's a funny breed, directors." - Stellan Skarsgard

"I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sign for a kid before an adult. It's funny, because I was never big into autographs as a kid. The only player who I ever wanted an autograph from was Dave Winfield." - Derek Jeter

"Carol Leifer is funny, really funny." - Chris Rock

"Not funny ha ha, funny weird" - Dean Koontz

"Everybody funny, now you funny too." - George Thorogood

"Love is giving your kids your undivided attention and time" - Kevin Heath

"The parents are pissed, but the kids love it." - Eminem

"Its not my job to feed your kids" - James Moore

"The funny thing about stopping is that as soon as you do it, here you are." - Jon Kabat-Zinn

"Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore." - Bernard Manning

"being funny is a way of being liked and a way of dealing with sadness." - Wendy Wasserstein

"Comedy is rarely funny." - Dov Davidoff

"Foreigners are funny" - Charles Hamilton

"Cancer is always funny." - Jim Gaffigan

"Violence is not funny." - William Friedkin

"I'm not very funny!" - Kimbra

"If possible, be funny." - Blake Bailey

"I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.'" - Tracy Morgan

"Hollywood's just not funny." - Chris Rock

"I'm really funny now." - Wanda Sykes

"Funny is an attitude." - Flip Wilson

"Let me tell you something. I'm a funny girl, and I gave birth to what? Funny. I can't help it. It just is what it is, and my kids have been around my antics so long, it kind of rubs off a little bit. So when it comes to what you see, you only see what is really manifesting in our lives at the time." - Niecy Nash

"One of the funny things about the racism of the system, when I started 30 years ago, I'm in an area called Koreatown and most of the kids were Asian. And when the kids did well, people said, "Well, of course, they did well. They're Asians." But when we had this huge influx of Latino children from Central America, they said, "Oh, you're gonna have problems now."" - Rafe Esquith

"What keeps me up at night? Probably most, thinking about the future for my kids. It sounds kind of funny, but not so much what they're going to do, but how as a parent, how my wife and I as parents, how best we should prepare them for the world. And I know everybody does this, I think everybody stays up at night thinking about the best thing for their kids, and astronauts are no different." - Leroy Chiao

"One of the things, and the most exciting, actually definitely the most exciting thing is, having children. You know, I didn't have children before. I had been married only a year before my space station mission, so having three-year-olds is a whole new experience and that's the new adventure. It may sound funny because people have kids every day, but having your own kids, having my own kids, was as fundamentally, or maybe even more fundamentally life changing then even flying in space." - Leroy Chiao

"I didn't like what was on TV in terms of sitcoms it had nothing to do with the color of them I just didn't like any of them. I saw little kids, let's say 6 or 7 years old, white kids, black kids. And the way they were addressing the father or the mother, the writers had turned things around, so the little children were smarter than the parent or the caregiver. They were just not funny to me. I felt that it was manipulative and the audience was looking at something that had no responsibility to the family." - Bill Cosby

"I didn't like what was on TV in terms of sitcoms?it had nothing to do with the color of them?I just didn't like any of them. I saw little kids, let's say 6 or 7 years old, white kids, black kids. And the way they were addressing the father or the mother, the writers had turned things around, so the little children were smarter than the parent or the caregiver. They were just not funny to me. I felt that it was manipulative and the audience was looking at something that had no responsibility to the family." - Bill Cosby

"Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidney. I'm so tired. But when you're having dinner with your kids and your husband and someone says something funny or you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiess." - Gwyneth Paltrow

"People want it to be red, like blood. It's kind of funny. When I used to throw meat into the audience, I'd get letters from kids' mothers saying, "What's the best way to get blood stains out of my son's shirt?"" - Ozzy Osbourne

"I sort of have a dark, twisted, offbeat way of writing, which I see coming up in my kids. It's funny, on Halloween, one of my daughters said, "Halloween isn't supposed to be happy, dad, it's supposed to be dark. " No smiling pumpkins at the Sixx household!" - Nikki Sixx

"It's very hard to find a good child actor. There are a lot of child actors out there, especially in America, and they're cute kids, but most child actors appear on sitcoms where their main role is to be cute and make funny little remarks." - George R R Martin

"You can learn a lot from children because they see things new every day. That's the beauty of what you want to achieve as an artist - seeing things in a different way. Kids are constantly saying things that are funny and surprising and their observations are just... you know, they're like little artists themselves." - Tim Burton

"It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here." - Garrett Hedlund

"In high school, I got picked on. It's funny that I got tormented for what I'm doing now - the acting thing. People would see me in a Nickelodeon commercial, and I would hear about it the next day at school. Kids would say, 'Hi, TV Boy.' They heckled. I never got beat up." - Jason Biggs

"When you're on the road, it gets a bit crazy. I've been on the road for about two weeks, and squeezed about 11 shows into 14 days. It's funny, traveling cross country isn't what kills ya - it's driving the two hours to the one-nighters and back. That's what gets exhausting, it gets to the point where seeing your kids is the relief." - Jay Mohr

"If you're looking at the array of performers, there's just a lot of people that it's about getting closer to them. That's not really our focus. It's funny, with the kids' stuff, we really sell ourselves as the MC, but it's much more like we're Ed Sullivan than we're like Sting. We're just the presenters. And that's an idea that we're very comfortable with." - John Flansburgh

"A funny thing happened on the way to utopia: We've turned into this surveillance society and become a race of spies, where we track our kids and we track our spouses and we track our friends. I think very soon there will be an obsolescence of trust, because it's much easier to access a person's location than it is to ask - or to trust." - Dave Eggers

"There were rumors that flew about the two of us, which were complete poppycock. There was never any romance between Madonna and myself. I mean, we had a moment where we're kissing in that video [Material Girl], but she at the time was with Sean Penn, and I was married with two kids, so there was no funny business there." - Keith Carradine

"When the kids were growing up, I think they thought the worst thing about me being a mom is that I would laugh at them. They would say something that they thought was serious and intense and I would laugh. I thought it was funny, but they don't want to be laughed at." - Micah Perks

"That's what kids were like then. So I really like the movie [Dude, Where's My Car? ], I think it's genuinely funny, and I wish I hadn't been so arrogant about it. And, of course, I didn't know it was going to be my best work, either." - Brent Spiner

"It's funny how when you're little, you miss all the little lies. They float right past you, but you don't wonder about them much. For a long time, you think this is just something adults still do after being kids - pretend. Then one day you wake up and realize most of the world you're in is built on someone's make-believe." - Virginia C. Andrews

"If my kids were to make a talking doll of me as a mother, one of my recorded phrases would be 'I will throw that in the trash.' 'If you don't put that down right now, I will throw that in the trash.' It's very funny to hear myself say certain things - like noticing which phrases become the most popular to use." - Justine Bateman

"I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. It's really funny the way that some people don't give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly." - Hilary Duff

"It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'" - Garrett Hedlund

"It's funny, I get a little quieter with time. I don't want to chase my tail and one day repeat myself and repeat myself and one day have kids going to college and not have memories that I should, because I was too busy doing my thing." - Dave Matthews

"I always wanted my kids to like me and think I was funny, so I made up this story about a kid named Jake and his racecar that he had built from scratch, fully loaded with whatever fantastical gadget he or I wanted him to have at the moment. I loved making up the stories off the top of my head." - Rhea Perlman

"I like to tell kids that I started thinking about stories when I first started reading stuff like Dr. Seuss and 'Go, Dog. Go!,' thinking, 'Oh yeah, that's funny. I'd like to do that.' And then writing throughout school, but at the same time I was studying pre-med stuff, because my mom told me I should be a doctor." - Jon Scieszka

"I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it." - Eddie Murphy

"Most people are really fighting to not be adults. And, when it happens, it's a big transition. And a lot of that is just awful. It's awful to have to get a job and really be responsible for other people. And it is funny, too. Like, we're all kind of little idiot kids trying to act like we know what we are doing." - Judd Apatow

"I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They're still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They've grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They've blossomed." - David Heyman

"People forget how outcast 'They Might Be Giants' can be. They have a reputation for writing really deft, funny, clever melodies, and they also make a lot of music for kids, which is terrific, but when you see them in concert, they can rock the house." - John Hodgman

"Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work." - Milton Berle

"Kids get influenced by other kids." - Paul Pierce

"I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?" - Joe Pesci

"I never thought I was funny. I don't THINK funny." - Lucille Ball

"A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny." - Ed Wynn

"Funny is funny. And if it's good, it travels." - James Corden

"If I think something's funny, I think it's funny." - Ray Liotta

"I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer." - Brad Williams

"My writing process is editing. It's taking all the funny thoughts you've had over the last 12 months, and editing out everything that's shit. You're left with an hour and a quarter of funny stuff." - Jimmy Carr

"Prince Charles is so funny. So, so funny." - Joan Rivers

"I love funny women. I love writing funny women characters." - Michael Patrick King

"When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time." - Cloris Leachman

"Some people say funny things, but I say things funny." - Don Rickles

"If you try to be funny, you're not being funny." - John Gordon Sinclair

"If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny." - Alan King

"very funny my sarcastic friend" - Cassandra Clare

"Funny women are honest women." - Elizabeth Meriwether

"When something is too beautiful or too terrible or even too funny for words, then it is time for poetry." - Eve Merriam

"Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays." - Edgar Bergen

"Baptists are only funny underwater." - Neil Simon

"Mental illness is not funny." - Philip K Dick

"Sometimes the future isn't funny." - Kerry Jackson

"... that is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny." - Gloria Vanderbilt

"Everybody's funny in different ways." - Colin Quinn

"I have a funny name." - Pia Zadora

"Let's make some funny pictures." - Tex Avery

"Naked dudes are inherently funny." - Adam Devine

"It's a funny old world." - Margaret Thatcher

"I'm just not very funny." - Ira Glass

"Funny is when you're serious." - Harvey Korman

"Chris Guest movies are funny." - Michael Keaton

"The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny." - Matt Groening

"I'm good at being funny." - Tom Stoppard

"Alec Baldwin is so funny." - Ryan Lochte

"Megan Fox is so funny." - Leslie Mann

"Posturing is funny to me." - Casey Wilson

"The British are so funny." - Rose Byrne

"Gene Wilder is so funny." - Kate Bush

"I don't think I'm funny." - Liam Neeson

"He's a jokester, and that's funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny." - Shaquille O'Neal



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Kids Funny, Adopted Kids, American Kids, Little Kids, Love My Kids, Love Your Kids, Other Kids, Kids, Acting Funny, Advice Funny, Age Funny, Anger Funny, Anything Funny, Arguments Funny, Art Funny, Attitude Funny, Beauty Funny, Bed Funny, Being Funny, Being Smart Funny, Best Friends Funny, Best Funny, Brother Funny, Business Funny, Change funny, Christmas funny, Church funny, Cool Funny, Cute and funny,