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Ketchup Quotes


"A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody." - Louis C K

"Nobody, I mean nobody, puts ketchup on a hot dog." - Clint Eastwood

"Ketchup I'm hot, dog Frankfurters, you're Nathan But relish hatin'" - Azealia Banks

"I ALWAYS put ketchup on my mac and cheese. Always." - Troye Sivan

"In theater, blood is ketchup; in performance, everything's real." - Marina Abramovic

"You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!" - Homer

"I hate liver, but I could imagine eating some with a little bit of ketchup. Like, a lot of ketchup. I could survive in a Turkish prison, probably." - Rich Fulcher

"If I had a hotdog in my hand, he would've had tomato ketchup on his face." - David Haye

"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup." - Henry James

"Be kind to dragons, for thou art crunchy when toasted and taste good with ketchup. (Sebastian)" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

"Far, far below, red liquid bubbled. Blood? Lava? Evil ketchup? None of the posibilities were good." - Rick Riordan

"Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste." - Wes Smith

"I like ketchup on my mustard, but when they touch, my mom gets mad." - 2D

"You know, you really can't beat a household commodity - the ketchup bottle on the kitchen table." - Adlai Stevenson

"A month before the season I stop putting ketchup on my french fries." - Mario Lemieux

"Everyone else in the world still thinks of American food as ketchup." - Jose Andres Puerta

"It is time to embrace and celebrate ketchup, not be ashamed of it." - Jose Andres Puerta

"You know, you really can't beat a household commodity - the ketchup bottle on the kitchen table." - Adlai E Stevenson

"I still eat a burger at a counter with ketchup dripping down my face." - Scarlett Johansson

"They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."" - Jim Gaffigan

"What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"" - Jim Gaffigan

"I sleep so much better at night, knowing that America is protected from thin pickles and fast ketchup." - Orrin Hatch

"If there's anything I like better than honey and ketchup, it's baloney and whipped cream - and we haven't got any!" - Moe Howard

"There's always anxiety when you start a new job, you're the one guy who doesn't know where the ketchup is." - Jon Stewart

"We need to have lectures about why we can't have every day things like mayonnaise, ketchup and coke." - Paolo Di Canio

"My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens." - Augusten Burroughs

"The word 'racism' is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything - and demanding evidence makes you a 'racist." - Thomas Sowell

"The word 'racism' is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything - and demanding evidence makes you a 'racist.'" - Thomas Sowell

"You know how to make salad dressing when you're broke - mayonnaise and ketchup. You're used to it, every day." - Jamal Woolard

"You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup." - Jeff Foxworthy

"If I was Simon Cowell for a day, I"d buy a bouncy castle, and jump on it. Then...pour ketchup on myself!" - Liam Payne

"Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger." - Bill Engvall

"If I was Simon Cowell for a day, I'd buy a bouncy castle, and jump on it. Then...pour ketchup on myself!" - Liam Payne

"I'm a tomato freak, but sometimes you have to get it in ketchup form for people to be able to open to tomatoes." - Tori Amos

"I come from Yorkshire in England where we like to eat chip sandwiches - white bread, butter, tomato ketchup and big fat french fries cooked in beef dripping." - Helen Fielding

"As a chef and as a father, I am very upset by what's on the menu at most schools: chicken nuggets and tater tots and ketchup and pizza." - Jose Andres Puerta

"I mix mayonnaise, ketchup and brandy and a little bit of mustard. This is a heck of a good sauce for seafood." - Jose Andres Puerta

"Call me tacky, but I love the union of sweet and sour, even in some now-unloved Oriental dishes incorporating pineapple and ketchup." - Yotam Ottolenghi

"I had a job at this French restaurant, and I hated it. I don't like serving; I don't like getting people ketchup." - Chris Pine

"Surround yourself with people who are the ketchup to your french fries-they make you a better version of yourself. Yes french fries are amazing on their own, but combined with ketchup they are a force. Spend time with people who bring out your true flavors, but don't overpower you." - Grace Helbig

"My mother always, always, always thought that I was going to be famous. Thought that I was going to win Oscars. In fact, I believe I accepted the Oscar as a ketchup bottle many a time in front of my mother in the kitchen. 'I'd like to thank the Academy,' I said with a ketchup bottle." - Kevin Spacey

"I'm not a person who writes really abstract things with oblique references. I look at abstraction like I look at condiments. Give me some Tabasco sauce, some ketchup, some mayonnaise. I love all of that. Put it on a trumpet. I've just got to have the ketchup and Tabasco sauce. That's my attitude about musical philosophy." - Wynton Marsalis

"I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things." "Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her tray. "And jumping off rooftops." "And lighting their farts on fire," she says." - Jay Asher

"No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I put ketchup on a taco. But seriously, we'd been out of salsa, so what else was I supposed to do?" - Richelle Mead

"What, Sheamus? Oh no, I can see him...he's pretty pale......What? oh no, he's even whiter than that. He's like a jar of mayonaisse with eyeballs and a ketchup haircut." - John Cena

"When I see a salt and pepper standing next to a bottle of ketchup, to me that's obviously a parent and two children, you know? Isn't it for everybody?" - Richard McGuire

"If ketchup had 1/20th of the carcinogens in a cigarette they'd rip it off the shelves tomorrow, so the government is full of shit when they tell you that they care about you." - Bill Maher

"I don't think I'm a style icon, not at all. Sometimes I just want to rock out in me scruffs and me Uggs. You know, a really comfy old tracksuit with maybe a dollop of ketchup down the front." - Cheryl Cole

"With all the endless varieties and toppings you can add to burgers, there's no need to keep munching on the boring burgers and ketchup found at all the tailgating events and BBQs." - Marcus Samuelsson

"I am so 100 percent Swedish... Someone has said a Swede is like a bottle of ketchup - nothing and nothing and then all at once - splat. I think I'm a little like that." - Ingmar Bergman

"I go to conventions and universities and talk to young filmmakers and everybody's making a zombie movie! It's because it's easy to get the neighbors to come out, put some ketchup on them." - George A Romero

"Don't keep excessive amounts of anything. Those glass vases that come from florists. Those ketchup packets that come with take-out food. A house with two adults probably doesn't need fifteen mismatched souvenir coffee cups." - Gretchen Rubin

"You could raise the price of, say, a bottle of ketchup to $1.03 instead of $1, and no one would know. Raising prices just 3% per product would add 50% to your pretax income. Why not do it? It's like heroin: You do a little and you want a little bit more. Raising prices is the easy way." - James Sinegal

"Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible ketchup stains, I feel as though I'm wearing a Hefty trash bag. And it's last year's Hefty trash bag." - Dave Barry

"It's Major Ketchup in the bathroom with the laser scalpel." "Hmm." He sliced a delicately herbed spear of asparagus. "Obviously we were meant for each other as I can interpret that as you meaning something more like Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick." - Nora Roberts

"I have spent a good part of my life looking for the perfect barbecue. There is no point in looking in places like Texas, where they put some kind of ketchup on beef and call it barbecue. Barbecue is pork, which narrows the search to the South, and if it's really good pork barbecue you are looking for, to North Carolina." - Charles Kuralt

"I think our grandparents were Victor Frankenstein. I basically am the kind of deeply unnatural creature that Mrs Shelley instinctively dreaded. I not only eat her sacred cows but I eat them with ketchup. While I take her point, I think that transgressive monstrosity and tampering with the life force are both a lot more fun than she suspected." - Bruce Sterling

"Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always like to hang around there, try and meet the ladies. "Here, I'll pump for you. You come to this Wendy's often? My roommate and I, we got a pony pump back at my dorm. Here's an extra shot "" - Jim Gaffigan

"The same chemicals were used in the cooking as were used on the composition of her own being: only those which caused the most violent reaction, contradiction, and teasing, the refusal to answer questions but the love of putting them, and all the strong spices of human relationship which bore a relation to black pepper, paprika, soybean sauce, ketchup and red peppers." - Anais Nin

"It's kind of a tradition that you get a rookie, put him in the middle, wrap your arms and legs around him, then douse him with everything you can get a hold of - shaving cream, ketchup, mustard, everything. It's kind of like a pie in the face after a guy is successful." - Gary Carter

"The fashion industry isn't merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn't wearing ridiculously tight pants." - Diablo Cody

"To me, it's far more efficient to mobilize the imagination. It's far more efficient to hear a creaking step, for example, than to see the face of a monster, which usually looks ridiculous, and where you know that the blood is ketchup." - Michael Haneke

"From a young age, I understood the idea of balanced flavor - the reason you put ketchup on a hamburger. I was that kid who wouldn't eat something if there was something missing. I never really understood it until I began cooking professionally, balancing acids, sweets, spicy flavors and fat." - Michael Mina

"My mother felt we'd be earning a living during our entire adult lives, and therefore believed we should spend summers in learning activities. Consequently, I got to see a plate glass factory in Pittsburgh, a U.S. Steel plant, and how Heinz made ketchup." - Patricia A Woertz

"We didn't speak, just drove out of the city into the countryside on our way to absolutely nowhere, and when we found that perfect spot among the trees, we stopped and looked at each other. Swallows swooped through the red sky, back from their adventure, and we held each other underneath the ketchup clouds, willing time to stop and the world to forget us for a while." - Annabel Pitcher

"Next week Reagan will probably announce that American scientists have discovered that the entire U.S. agricultural surplus can be compacted into a giant tomato one thousand miles across, which will be suspended above the Kremlin from a cluster of U.S. satellites flying in geosynchronous orbit. At the first sign of trouble the satellites will drop the tomato on the Kremlin, drowning the fractious Muscovites in ketchup." - Alexander Cockburn

"To one degree or another, everybody is connected to the Mystery, and everybody secretly yearns to expand the connection. That requires expanding the soul. These things can enlarge the soul: laughter, danger, imagination, meditation, wild nature, passion, compassion, psychedelics, beauty, iconoclasm, and driving around in the rain with the top down. These things can diminish it: fear, bitterness, blandness, trendiness, egotism, violence, corruption, ignorance, grasping, shining, and eating ketchup on cottage cheese." - Tom Robbins

"It turns out there's only 10 minutes of productive conversation in any family dinner. The rest is taken up with 'take your elbows off the table' and 'pass the ketchup.' And what researchers have found is you can take that 10 minutes and put it in any time of the day and get the benefit. So, if you can't have family dinner, have family breakfast!" - Bruce Feiler

"I love macaroni and cheese. I could eat it every meal of the day. It used to be sushi, but these days I cannot stop eating mac and cheese. I haven't had it from a box in a long time, but I'll make it homemade style with four types of cheeses, lots of milk, maybe a little ketchup. I don't know, I'm crazy like that." - Cobie Smulders

"It is amazing to me how deeply into the popular culture the creature has become. There are zombie walks in every major city. I live in Toronto, and last year 3,000 people came out dressed as zombies.... I do not get it. Maybe it's an easy costume: Splash some ketchup on and rip up your jeans - although most people already have torn jeans - and you're done." - George A Romero

"My first job was as a waitress, and I waitressed for a long, long time. I was a very bad waitress. I didn't care if people had ketchup or if they were allergic to fish. It really didn't bother me either way. I didn't care. I was bad, but it was a good way to make money. And it's a fun job if you are working with fun people." - Cheryl Hines

"Sometimes no matter how well you prepare, no matter how conservative your decision making, no matter how few Y chromosomes are along on your trip, you can still find yourself in a mud slide or a hurricane without a dry piece of clothing to your name. But those of us who have given our time and usually our hearts to outdoorsmen over the years know that, for many of them, it's not really a wilderness trip unless, MacGyver-like, they have to make a fire out of a pair of shorts, a glow stick, and a ketchup bottle; it's not really an adventure until someone gets airlifted out." - Pam Houston

"Agent Jones switched to the big screen and a grainy video of MoMo sitting at his enormous desk, a swivel-hipped Elvis clock ticking behind his bewigged head. 'Death to the capitalist pigs! Death to your cinnamon bun-smelling malls! Death to your power walking and automatic car windows and I'm With Stupid T-shirts! The Republic of ChaCha will never bend to your side-of-fries -drive -through-please-oh-would-you-like-ketchup-with-that corruption! MoMo B. ChaCha defies you and all you stand for, and one day, you will crumble into the sea and we will pick up the pieces and make them into sand art." - Libba Bray

"There hasn't been a leak from one of the associates of the king saying, "This guy Trump, he already insulted us wanting ketchup with his steak, and then he wanted two scoops of ice cream on the falafel. It's not done. This guy's an absolute barbarian." And there hasn't been a leak from an associate of King Salman telling somebody in the Drive-By Media that Donald Trump looked at his son, the prince, and said, "Man, I hope you live a long time 'cause your son's a nut job." We haven't had leaks like this about the Trump foreign trip." - Rush Limbaugh