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Joe Morelli Quotes

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"We don't usually write up accidents involving rabbits. - Joe Morelli" - Janet Evanovich

"It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence." Joe Morelli" - Janet Evanovich

"You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms." Joe Morelli" - Janet Evanovich

"And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case." - Janet Evanovich

"Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this." - Morelli" - Janet Evanovich

"Joe Paterno was a dictator." - Rodney Erickson

"Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?" "No." "The were not fighting." - Janet Evanovich

"You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?" ~ Morelli" - Janet Evanovich

"About that proposal, cupcake..." Morelli" - Janet Evanovich

"Joe gave me some more gravy." - Charles Dickens

"Joe Bob says check it out." - Joe Bob Briggs

"Now Joe Cronin was very good. I loved Joe Cronin, to play for." - Bobby Doerr

"THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me-not forever, but periodically." - Janet Evanovich

"You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you." "You are such a cop." "Tell me about it." - Janet Evanovich

"I got very well acquainted with Joe Stalin, and I like old Joe! He is a decent fellow. But Joe is a prisoner of the Politburo." - Harry S Truman

"Smokey Joe (Williams) could throw harder than anyone." - Satchel Paige

"Baseball isn't statistics, it's Joe DiMaggio rounding second base." - Jimmy Breslin

"The roughest and toughest fighter I fought was Joe Frazier" - Muhammad Ali

"It's got to be better than rooming with Joe Page." - Joe Dimaggio

"Joe Paterno left this world with a clear conscience," - Jay Paterno

"Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day." - Nick Diaz

"I left home when I was 17 with Joe Williams." - David Edwards

"Joe McCarthy and his Senate hearings were like witch-hunts." - Desi Arnaz

"I just finished Meet Joe Black with Hopkins." - Claire Forlani

"I'm the guy that made Joe DiMaggio famous." - Lefty Gomez

"Joe Louis was one of my first heroes." - Robert Goulet

"I'm beyond the normal person. I'm not your everyday Joe." - Carl Paladino

"I've had heroes in my life - Joe DiMaggio, Babe Ruth." - Tommy Lasorda

"I thought you wanted to date other women?" "I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached." "And I could date other men." Morelli was starting to look annoyed. "Have you been dating other men?" "Maybe." "As long as it isn't Ranger," Morelli said. "I don't think Ranger dates." - Janet Evanovich

"Can I throw harder than Joe Wood? Listen mister, no man alive can throw any harder than Smoky Joe Wood." - Walter Johnson

"Joe Budden TV is life through the eyes of Joe Budden. You've gotta go check it out - it's pretty fun." - Joe Budden

"Pennsylvania couldn't be prouder of our native son, Joe Biden from Scranton. No one knows us better than Joe." - Bob Casey Jr

"Can I throw harder than Joe Wood? Listen mister, no man alive can throw any harder than Smokey Joe Wood." - Walter Johnson

"I had listened to Joe Turner. When they'd book Joe there, I'd play the blues behind him." - Jay Mcshann

"Joe and Jojo and I had lovely day together. I love Joe so much - more and more." - Dawn Powell

"Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake." - Janet Evanovich

"In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment." - Janet Evanovich

"Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money." - Janet Evanovich

"I looked over at him. "Is that a proposal?" There was total silence for a couple beats. "I'm not sure. It just popped out." "Let me know when you're sure." "Would you say yes?" Morelli asked. "I'm not sure." - Janet Evanovich

"You're such a crybaby. (Tee) Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe) You shouldn't have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee) Yeah, everything's my fault. (Joe) Good, then we agree. (Tee)" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

"G.I. Joe is not shown in Korea at all, basically, so a lot of people didn't know about G.I. Joe and I also didn't have the information about G.I. Joe." - Lee Byunghun

"From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the real Joe would have." - Jim Norton

"I was studying with Joe Allard, which was great, as a saxophone student. Being able to study with Joe Allard was an incredible experience." - Jon Gordon

"We still have great comedy out there. There's always ramblin' Joe Biden. What the fuck? Joe says shit that even people with Tourette's go no..." - Robin Williams

"I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night Alive as you and me. Says I, 'But Joe, you're ten years dead.' 'I never died,' says he." - Alfred Hayes

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson Joltin' Joe has left and gone away." - Paul Simon

"There was never a day when I was as good as Joe DiMaggio at his best. Joe was the best, the very best I ever saw." - Stan Musial

"He knew he was Joe DiMaggio, and he knew what that meant to the country." - Lefty Gomez

"Coffee comes in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover." - Robert A Heinlein

"Half a King is my favorite book by Joe Abercrombie so far, and that's saying something." - Patrick Rothfuss

"He (Joe Morgan) knew when something needed to be done, and he'd do it." - Tom Seaver

"There are things about Joe Torre, if I wanted to come out and say, would show how cold and calculated he really is... Joe Torre is for Joe Torre. ... The graveyard of Yankees coaches is loaded with bones of coaches Joe Torre did nothing about." - Michael Kay

"Joe Kennedy is one of the biggest crooks who ever lived." - Sam Giancana

"Apart from the fact that I can move the bike fast, I am basically Joe Average," - Jens Voigt

"You don't get Billie Joe Armstrong's autograph on your forehead without following your instincts." - Gordon Korman

"Senator Joe Biden is pretty clean and articulate for a white guy." - Barack Obama

"Betsy. The great war is on but I hope ours is over. Please come home. Joe." - Maud Hart Lovelace

"To tell the truth, I just lost confidence in Joe Hooker." - Joseph Hooker

"I enjoy sex as much as Joe Namath, only I do it with one girl." - Roger Staubach

"(Higgins:) You've done more harm than you'll ever know. (Joe Turner:) I hope so." - Cliff Robertson

"Actually, when they have celebrity look-alikes, Im always put up there with Joe Torre." - Dan Lauria

"I'm a regular Joe...I just have the unique ability to accessorize." - RuPaul

"Patience is a virtue. (Tee) Excuse me, pot, could you not pick on the kettle? (Joe)" - Sherrilyn Kenyon

"Joe Biden would probably be running a Denny's if he wasn't Vice President." - Bill Whittle

"He (Shoeless Joe Jackson) was the finest natural hitter in the history of the game." - Ty Cobb

"I can't imagine Joe DiMaggio was a better all-around player than Dale Murphy." - Nolan Ryan

"That gal's all skull and no brains. She's like Joe Frazier with lipstick." - George Foreman

"Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed." - Tommy Farr

"When you're a great finisher, you'll become popular. Joe Louis was a great finisher." - Mike Tyson

"Joe Louis is a credit to his race - the human race." - Jimmy Cannon

"A message to progressives: By all means, hang Senator Joe Lieberman in effigy." - Paul Krugman

"I don't know the facts of when Joe Soptic's wife got sick or when she died." - Barack Obama

"And Joe Biden, thank you for being the best Vice President I could ever hope for." - Barack Obama

"President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama's handicap is Joe Biden." - Jay Leno

"I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself can find a little action." - Beetlejuice

"I think he [composer Joe Raposo] was the first man who kissed me on the cheek." - Walter Cronkite

"Really? Anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can't even keep Joe Biden in line." - Jay Leno

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you." - Paul Simon

"Joe Frazier was the easiest boxer to work with that I ever trained." - Eddie Futch

"He has always been a slippery little git! (on Joe Cole)" - Rio Ferdinand

"Screenwriting Joe Eszterhas have always talked about the charm of evil." - Chris Hayes

"Are you looking into Joe Biden's supposed botox shots in his forehead?" - Elisabeth Hasselbeck

"President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama's handicap is Joe Biden." - Jay Leno

"We got results that would not have been possible without a negotiating partner like Joe Biden." - John Mccain

"That's Joe Biden right there - unbowed, unbroken and unable to stop talking." - John Mccain

"Tell me that Billy Joe Armstrong doesn't look like a fruit." - Bill Allred

"What Joe Wilson did is like a belch.-October 12, 2009" - Alan Grayson

"Joe Frazier is ugly. He has no rhythm, no footwork, no class, he cannot talk." - Muhammad Ali

"Rather a tough customer in argeyment, Joe, if anybody was to try and tackle him." - Charles Dickens

"I've heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true. -Grandpa Joe" - Roald Dahl

"I really wish Mike and Joe would stop drawing on me while I'm sleeping." - Chester Bennington

"A day can start out ordinary and end up being in the top ten. -Joe Bunch" - James Howe

"Mary Joe Fernandez rarely has a bad loss. She never tries for stupid shots." - Tracy Austin

"Joe is the hero and Sammy is the sidekick. That's how I feel about it." - Michael Chabon

"It is unusual for Joe to be that way, but that's what interested me." - Michael Chabon

"I remember on 'JAG,' Joe Jackson punched Stephen Culp and shattered his nose." - David James Elliott

"Billy Joel and Joe Jackson were both great, and they both play piano." - Ben Folds

"Ali's daughter is fighting and Joe Frazier's daughter is fighting as well." - Robert Goulet

"Macauley Culkin was on the show a lot. Or Haley Joe Osment." - Mary Hart

"The nice thing about 'Morning Joe' is that I do get to do serious news sometimes." - Willie Geist

"Well, my wife, Cathy Gillespie, worked for Joe Barton, who was running for Congress in 1984." - Ed Gillespie

"And my favourite new songwriter is Joe Banfi from Sheffield. He's dark, edgy, serene and beautiful." - Ben Lovett

"The stuff I write with Joe Lo Truglio tends to lean towards horror-comedy and horror." - Ken Marino

"As long as Pete and Joe are there, it's gonna be jumping." - Jay Mcshann

"Today you have something like A Film by Joe Harry. That is patently asinine and ridiculous." - Elmer Bernstein

"Joe Louis was strong, but his strength didn't help him much in golf." - Charlie Sifford

"Actually, when they have celebrity look-alikes, I'm always put up there with Joe Torre." - Dan Lauria

"I could be like Joe Kennedy and say, 'My kids are going to run for president!'" - John Catsimatidis

"Joe Frazier got hit more than me - and he doesn't have Parkinson's." - Muhammad Ali

"There isn't an audience in the world that Billie Joe can't command." - Mike Dirnt

"I'm your average Joe guy. I don't really care for politicians." - John Mellencamp

"Mrs. Robinson is a little dated now, but it has nothing to do with Joe DiMaggio." - Paul Simon

"You lose power in Britain and you are just Joe Public again." - Ken Livingstone

"The professionals are going to be joined by the average Joe. Everybody's a publisher." - Eric Brown

"I don't think Joe Louis could take the punches today fighting in this era." - Larry Holmes

"I'm always gonna be Joe Namath, and I'm not running from that." - Joe Namath

"I was on my back, looking up at Morelli through cobwebs, and my first thought was that the 7-Eleven victim had exacted revenge on me, and I'd been stun gunned. The cobwebs cleared, and I discounted stun gunning. "What happened?" I asked Morelli. "You fainted." "That's ridiculous." "I agree, but if someone sent me a dead woman I might faint, too." He was down on one knee, bending over me. "Are you ready to get up?" "I need a moment." "Don't take too long. People will think I'm proposing." - Janet Evanovich

"I was on my back, looking up at Morelli through cobwebs, and my first thought was that the 7-Eleven victim had exacted revenge on me, and I"d been stun gunned. The cobwebs cleared, and I discounted stun gunning. "What happened?" I asked Morelli. "You fainted." "That's ridiculous." "I agree, but if someone sent me a dead woman I might faint, too." He was down on one knee, bending over me. "Are you ready to get up?" "I need a moment." "Do' take too long. People will think I'm proposing." - Janet Evanovich

"When you start a new project and they say, "Your director is going to be Joe Blo," you're hoping that Joe Blo will be the next Martin Scorsese, but it doesn't always work out that way." - Martin Short

"I received a letter from the Reich Ministry of Sports. They want me to split from Joe Jacobs, my manager since 1928.... I really need Joe Jacobs. I owe all my success in America to him." - Max Schmeling

"I realized in that moment that physically speaking my talents were well beyond Joe [Namath's] talents. So then I realized, 'What am I doing here? This doesn't make sense because it's always going to be about Joe.'" - John Riggins

"I tell you, I'm half tempted to break into CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon out of CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon." - Ally Carter

"Stalking the Angel [Joe]"I could off anybody in this place five times over." [Elvis]"Could you off someone and get away with you here?" [Joe]Head shake. "I'm too good even for me." - Robert Crais

"I know a lot of friends and family who were Joe Montana fans, where it didn't matter how well Steve Young did. They weren't going to cheer for him because he wasn't Joe Montana." - Aaron Rodgers

"I realized in that moment that physically speaking my talents were well beyond Joe [Namath"s] talents. So then I realized, "What am I doing here? This does' make sense because it's always going to be about Joe."" - John Riggins

"There live a great man named Joe who was belittled by a loudmouth foe. While his rival would taunt and tease Joe silently bore the stings. And then fought like gladiator in the ring." - Muhammad Ali

"There live a great man named Joe / who was belittled by a loudmouth foe / While his rival would taunt and tease / Joe silently bore the stings / And then fought like gladiator in the ring" - Muhammad Ali

"Obama's Justice Department has also targeted Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Sheriff Joe bills himself as America's Toughest Sheriff for good reason. Maricopa County is responsible for one out of every four deportations in the country." - Russell Pearce

"Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so to date we've been spared commitment." - Janet Evanovich

"Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me. It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue." - Janet Evanovich

"I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb." Morelli" - Janet Evanovich

"I think my favorite movie is Joe Versus the Volcano - or maybe Multiple Maniacs by John Waters." - Justin Kirk

"John [Lasseter] always said that he was Andy, and Joe [Ranft] and I were Sid, and I think that's true." - Andrew Stanton

"Joe Torre would tell you to make sure you can hit the ball on the outside part of the plate" - Dale Murphy

"Joe Berlinger's documentary 'Whitey' is so hard-hitting and compelling, you can't take your eyes off the screen." - Leonard Maltin

"It was never supposed to be a hit. It was supposed to be a Joe Morello drum solo," - Paul Desmond

"If there ever was a poet for the working class Billy Joe Shaver and Merle Haggard would be my nomination" - David Allan Coe

"I have a soft spot for Joe Biden. I like him. But he's dumb as an ashtray." - Roger Ailes

"The internet is a series of tubes, and all of those tubes are filled with Joe Francis' semen." - Theodore Stevens

"Getting that first knockout against Joe Riggs [in 2006] meant a lot to me then and still does today." - Diego Sanchez

"What did you say, Joe?" - Mickey Mantle

"The Clash were a major influence on my own music. They were the best rock 'n' roll band. Thanks, Joe." - Bruce Springsteen

"I've got a Fender Concert amp from the '60s, the one Joe Osborn used. He played his bass through it." - Johnny Ramistella

"Joe Walsh is a great guy and and an unbelievable talent, Id like to work with him again someday." - Lita Ford

"I'm not bad (his speed). I'm no Joe Morgan, but I'm pretty good for a white guy." - Pete Rose

"Joe Louis, to me, was the finest human being God put on this earth in every way." - Angelo Dundee

"I smoke on the mic like Smokin' Joe Frazier, The hell raiser, raisin' hell with the flavor." - Inspectah Deck

"The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That's a long trip for Joe Biden." - Jay Leno

"My mother was cancer. She slowly destroyed everything around her. She produced two killers; me and my brother Joe." - Richard Kuklinski

"I have a soft spot for Joe Biden. I like him. But he's dumb as an ashtray." - Roger Ailes



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RELATED TOPICS

Joe Morelli, Average Joe, Little Joe, Joe, Joe Dimaggio, Joe Louis, Joe Mccarthy, Joe Solomon,