Topics: # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Jesus Funny Quotes


"Cancer is always funny." - Jim Gaffigan

"I'm not very funny!" - Kimbra

"What would Jesus do?" - Charles Sheldon

"Gene Wilder is so funny." - Kate Bush

"I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'" - Louis C K

"Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you." - Mother Teresa

"Jesus plus nothing equals everything; everything minus Jesus equals nothing." - Tullian Tchividjian

"Funny is funny is funny." - Bob Newhart

"I never say a funny thing intentionally." - Jayne Meadows

"Not everybody agrees on what's funny, obviously." - Tim Meadows

"I was not funny growing up." - Tim Meadows

"When I'm funny is when I'm angriest." - Lewis Black

"One thing the blues ain't, is funny." - Stephen Stills

"Me personally, I don't have anything against Jesus any more than I do any of the religious icons. I think they're all pretty funny." - Jack Black

"I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny." - Chris Messina

"I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not." - Joe Biden

"I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny." - Mark Russell

"Funny is funny." - Don Rickles

"I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right." - Billy Crystal

"I don't really need to be dirty to be funny." - Jimmy Kimmel

"My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic." - Eric Stonestreet

"I have a funny accent in every language." - Carmen Busquets

"Comedy is not supposed to be funny. Its supposed to tell the truth and then that's funny." - Paula Patton

"It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny." - David Cross

"It's funny because it's funny." - David Spade

"I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny." - Ryan Stiles

"What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down." - Denis Johnson

"Jesus took His flesh from the flesh of Mary" - Saint Augustine

"The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action...If we pray the work...if we do it to Jesus, if we do it for Jesus, if we do it with Jesus...that's what makes us content." - Mother Teresa

"About Jesus we must believe no one but himself." - Henri Frederic Amiel

"If I were Jesus Christ, I would save Judas." - Victor Hugo

"I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I'm the least funny person in a room full of funny people." - Ben Feldman

"I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny." - Maya Rudolph

"Carol Leifer is funny, really funny." - Chris Rock

"Not funny ha ha, funny weird" - Dean Koontz

"Everybody funny, now you funny too." - George Thorogood

"I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me." - Ben Feldman

"The New Testament never simply says, "Remember Jesus Christ." That is a half-finished sentence. It says, "Remember Jesus Christ is risen from the dead."" - Robert Runcie

"Come to Jesus. Come to Jesus." - Adrian Rogers

"What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible." - John Cleese

"Subtle, funny and touching, with a striking downbeat authenticity. Director Craig Zobel is the real thing." - A. O. Scott

"It's funny, everything is so much easier when you do it yourself." - Carine Roitfeld

"Not that that's the goal, but sometimes these funny insights can also be deeply profound." - Ted Alexandro

"Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore." - Bernard Manning

"Comedy is rarely funny." - Dov Davidoff

"Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny." - Ben Feldman

"It's funny how much you attach yourself to everyone around you when you film." - Jared Gilman

"I try to find a way to make it comfortable or interesting or funny to me." - Owen Wilson

"Our language is funny - a fat chance and slim chance are the same thing." - J. Gustave White

"Foreigners are funny" - Charles Hamilton

"He [ Campbell Scott ] is also a really funny guy which not a lot of people know." - Denis Leary

"I don't spend much time on Twitter. I joined because I found it funny." - Tahar Rahim

"I reach for funny books all the time to help me get through life." - Laurie Halse Anderson

"I am the ultimate California girl, which is funny, being that I'm Canadian." - Pamela Anderson

"I love doing funny promos like the ones I did wrestling Rey Mysterio." - Kurt Angle

"I put on a big show when I write something I think is funny." - Judd Apatow

"Violence is not funny." - William Friedkin

"You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things." - Ken Kesey

"I'm tall and thin but not strong, so you're either an athlete or you're funny." - Keeganmichael Key

"However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be." - Craig Kilborn

"It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent." - Natalie Merchant

"I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans." - Mike Birbiglia

"I think a lot of times on TV we see caricatures - that's what's funny." - Mayim Bialik

"I'm a terrific mimic, and you can feel my funny bone." - Madhur Bhandarkar

"If possible, be funny." - Blake Bailey

"My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny." - Leslie Jones

"I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.'" - Tracy Morgan

"Hollywood's just not funny." - Chris Rock

"I'm really funny now." - Wanda Sykes

"Funny is an attitude." - Flip Wilson

"It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse." - Adlai E Stevenson

"A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House." - Adlai Stevenson

"Life itself is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be." - Ray Stevenson

"I don't think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time." - Ben Stiller

"I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny." - Jerry Stiller

"I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary." - R L Stine

"Kids are funny." - Mark Waters

"It's great working with Steve Carell and Jim Carrey. Those guys are really funny." - Steve Buscemi

"And she looks at me with her eyes open wide and a face that says: Oh my God, I'm muckin' around in my sexy Jesus-boots, in my crazy dreamworld, and I've opened the door and let you in on my crazy dreamworld and that's so embarrassing but, actually, who cares? because it's funny." - Jaclyn Moriarty

"We have tons of live performances that we're putting on there. We have music videos. There's a music video for the song called I Am Jesus what is one of the funniest music videos, like we just could not find a place for it in the movie, but it's like crazy funny. And we have the whole video." - Nicholas Stoller

"When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my early acting was musical theater, and my first ever show was 'Jesus Christ Superstar.' Everyone's familiar with it. I played priest number 3 and sang so out of tune that it's not even funny." - Sam Claflin

"It's funny how we 'do' Christmas. Christmas is not something that we do, it is something that was done. It celebrates the long awaited arrival of the Messiah, Jesus Christ. We had nothing to do with it, but what we can do is praise God for the coming of the Lord, who washed away the sins of the world by dying on the cross." - Monica Johnson

"Every day I see Jesus Christ in all his distressing disguises." - Mother Teresa

"Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is the Living Heart of each of our parishes" - Pope Paul Vi

"...Jesus Christ might simply have returned to his carpentry following the use of modern psychiatric treatments." - William Sargant

"Jesus was a pacifist." - Chris Hedges

"Jesus never pussyfooted" - Elisabeth Elliot

"Self-denial is the quality of which Jesus Christ set us the example." - Ary Scheffer

"The likeness we bear to Jesus is more essential than our notions of him." - Lucretia Mott

"Even Jesus Christ cannot conduct a free and fair election in Nigeria." - Olusegun Obasanjo

"If you add anything to Jesus as a requirement for being happy, that's your real king." - Timothy Keller

"You should point to the whole man Jesus and say, That is God." - Martin Luther

"Jesus never gave advice" - John Bevere

"Mr Obama you're not a healing Jesus, you cause cancer with your bad policies." - Gordon Klingenschmitt

"Fuck it. Kill Jesus." - Tim O'Brien

"Jesus, take the wheel." - Carrie Underwood

"Jesus loves me-this I know, For the Bible tells me so." - Anna Bartlett Warner

"Jesus wore designer clothes." - John Avanzini

"Jesus was a crackpot." - Rajneesh

"We Recognize No Sovereign but God, and no King but Jesus!" - John Adams

"To me, a faith in Jesus Christ that is not aligned with the poor ... it's nothing." - Edward De Bono

"Dear Jesus, do something." - Vladimir Nabokov

"I love Jesus." - Ray Price

"I love Jesus as much as I ever have. And I'm gay. Deal with it." - Vicky Beeching

"Our Lord Jesus Christ , my brethren, is our hero, a hero all the world wants." - Gerard Manley Hopkins

"You can't make Christ funny. He's self-aware, he's too flexible within the situation. It's rigidity, it's when the ego takes over and the behavior becomes inappropriate that it becomes funny." - John Cleese

"I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas "are" funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier." - Joe Murray

"I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?" - Joe Pesci

"I never thought I was funny. I don't THINK funny." - Lucille Ball

"A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny." - Ed Wynn

"Funny is funny. And if it's good, it travels." - James Corden

"If I think something's funny, I think it's funny." - Ray Liotta

"I'm funny because I'm funny. And there's more to offer." - Brad Williams

"Anyone who thinks it's funny to name their network "Tom'sHugeEtc" is going to think it's funny that one of his neighbors is also named Tom and is embarrassed by it." - Mallory Ortberg

"Prince Charles is so funny. So, so funny." - Joan Rivers

"I love funny women. I love writing funny women characters." - Michael Patrick King

"When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time." - Cloris Leachman

"Jesse Tyler Ferguson is probably one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Everything the kid does is funny. I think he tunes his life to being funny." - Jesse L Martin

"Some people say funny things, but I say things funny." - Don Rickles

"If you try to be funny, you're not being funny." - John Gordon Sinclair

"If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny." - Alan King

"very funny my sarcastic friend" - Cassandra Clare

"The hateful reviews are very funny. And sometimes you can enjoy a hateful review much more than a good review." - Gaspar Noe

"It's funny, when you start talking about primitive scenes, so many people have seen their parents having sex." - Gaspar Noe

"That heightened dynamic can produce interesting, funny ideas that are phrased in ways that surprise even you, as the performer." - Ted Alexandro

"A funny line can never exist on its own. It needs to be surrounded by mood and circumstances." - Lorrie Moore

"Funny women are honest women." - Elizabeth Meriwether

"Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays." - Edgar Bergen

"Baptists are only funny underwater." - Neil Simon

"That's one of the best things about characters like Indiana Jones. I mean, he's funny. He's done really wicked things." - Rhys Darby

"Mental illness is not funny." - Philip K Dick

"Sometimes the future isn't funny." - Kerry Jackson

"... that is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny." - Gloria Vanderbilt

"Everybody's funny in different ways." - Colin Quinn

"Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny." - Harold Ramis

"I have a funny name." - Pia Zadora

"To me, I've never understood why there is any question about are women as funny as men." - Judd Apatow

"Let's make some funny pictures." - Tex Avery

"I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people." - David Cross

"From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do." - Billy Crystal

"Naked dudes are inherently funny." - Adam Devine

"It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny." - Seth Green

"I used to go in for Disney auditions, and they'd tell me, 'You're cute and nice but just not funny.'" - Gattlin Griffith

"It's a funny old world." - Margaret Thatcher

"I'm just not very funny." - Ira Glass

"I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me." - Daniel Dae Kim

"Funny is when you're serious." - Harvey Korman

"It's funny, the moment you dread the most, seeing yourself bald, is actually not such a bad moment at all." - Sylvie Meis

"Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy." - Seth Meyers

"Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy." - Lewis Black



Jesus Funny, Acting Like Jesus, Ask Jesus, Baby Jesus, Being with Jesus, Believe in Jesus, Believe Jesus Christ, Belonging to Jesus, Birth of Jesus, Black Jesus, Blood of Jesus, Born of Jesus, Finding Jesus, Light Jesus, Looking to Jesus, Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus Christ, Love Jesus Christ, Loving Jesus, Believing in Jesus Christ, Blood of Jesus Christ, Acting Funny, Advice Funny, Age Funny, Anger Funny, Anything Funny, Arguments Funny, Art Funny, Attitude Funny,