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Jesus Birthday Quotes


"Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!" - Norm Macdonald

"I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been." - Lewis Black

"We Americans commercialize everything. Look at what we did to Christmas. Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Now, I don't know Jesus, but from what I read he was the least materialistic person who ever walked the earth. No bling on Jesus. He kept a low profile and we turned his birthday into the most commercial day of the year. In fact we have a whole Jesus birthday season. And then at the end of it, we have the nerve to have an economist come on TV and say what a horrible Jesus birthday season we had." - Chris Rock

"Come to Jesus. Come to Jesus." - Adrian Rogers

"If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?" - Dana Gould

"Jesus, take the wheel." - Carrie Underwood

"Jesus was a crackpot." - Rajneesh

"If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!" - Ellen Degeneres

"Happy Birthday, Mr Presidenttttt" - Marilyn Monroe

"Anticipate the day as if it was your birthday and you are turning six again." - Mike Dolan

"Memory is what tells a man that his wife's birthday was yesterday." - Mario Rocco

"I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory." - Sloane Crosley

"My mom and my father's birthday are on the same day." - Victor Cruz

"Birthday Alarm was a very simple site based on being reminded of your friends' birthdays." - Michael Birch

"Jesus, Jesus help me. I'm alone in this world..." - Bono

"Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you." - Mother Teresa

"How to celebrate the 50th birthday: Go on your knees and thank God (Jesus Christ) for the life of T.B. Joshua. Pray for the Church of God for a strong bond of love. Pray for your nation and the whole world. As you rededicate yourself to the acts of giving for the rest of your life, God bless you. Happy Birthday!" - T. B. Joshua

"For a fact, the Christians stole Christmas. We don't mind sharing it with them, but we don't like this pretense of theirs that it is the birthday of Jesus. It is the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun-Dies Natalis Invicti Solis. Christmas is a relic of sun worship." - Anne Nicol Gaylor

"Gentle Jesus, meek and mild..." - Charles Wesley

"Jesus [was the] first American" - Jerry Falwell

"Who was Jesus? God saves." - Max Lucado

"Jesus! My brother! Heave-up!" - Halldór Laxness

"Slipping? We're bigger than Jesus." - John Lennon

"I want to thank Jesus, and by Jesus I mean Jesus Hernandez, my bodyguard" - Will Ferrell

"Everything before Jesus is preface. Everything after Jesus is appendix. Jesus is the story." - Kevin Deyoung

"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it." - Demetri Martin

"All I want for my birthday is another birthday." - Ian Dury

"The birthday of the Lord is the birthday of peace." - Pope Leo I

"My mom won't let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it's TK Maxx or a birthday occasion." - Chloe Moretz

"Death smells like birthday cake." - Maggie Stiefvater

"The book [The Dissemblers] officially came out two weeks after my thirtieth I still young?" - Liza Campbell

"It's my birthday, Horus insisted. Wish me happy birthday! "Happy birthday!" I yelled. "Now shut up!" - Rick Riordan

"It's my birthday, Horus insisted. Wish me happy birthday! "Happy birthday!" I yelled. "Now shut up!" - Rick Riordan

"Jesus is not from Georgia. Jesus does not speak English. And Jesus is not a member of the NRA." - Robert Wright

"If you want to know what Jesus meant by what Jesus said, pay attention to that Jesus did." - Andy Stanley

"If Jesus was here, do you think Jesus would show me any love? Do you think Jesus would love me?" - Mike Tyson

"Let me introduce you to Jesus." - David Platt

"Jesus must have been a psychopath" - Peter Wessel Zapffe

"We're more popular than Jesus Christ now." - John Lennon

"Everybody needs a hero. Jesus is mine." - Adrian Rogers

"Jesus Chris was more than man." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"Jesus and the devil are brothers" - Mike Huckabee

"Jesus makes the bitterest mouthful taste sweet." - Therese Of Lisieux

"Jesus weeps and loves me still." - Charles Wesley

"Jesus doesn't take sides; He takes over." - Andy Stanley

"Nothing is out of reach for Jesus." - Stasi Eldredge

"Jesus and Buddha cannot both be right" - Ravi Zacharias

"Canada is like America without Jesus." - Tim Riley

"Jesus Christ was the greatest republican." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"Jesus & his apostles & disciples were all artists" - William Blake

"I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory" - Stephen Colbert

"I owe it all to Jesus." - Aaron Neville

"A Christian's example is always Jesus." - Monica Johnson

"If Jesus is on Tim Curran's side and Occy is Jesus, who gets to win?" - Cintra Wilson

"Sometimes I prayed for Baby Jesus to make me good, but Baby Jesus didn't." - Barbara Kingsolver

"Not only do we know God through Jesus Christ, we only know ourselves through Jesus Christ." - Blaise Pascal

"Jesus, he meets you where you are. Jesus, he heals your secret scars." - Wayne Watson

"You have Jesus and Jesus has you or you are barren and wasted and lost!" - Paul Washer

"Having made Jesus your all, you shall find your all in Jesus." - Charles Spurgeon

"Jesus didn't come to make us Christian. Jesus came to make us fully human." - Hans Rookmaaker

"I am going to judge my circumstances by Jesus" love, not Jesus" love by my circumstances." - Timothy Keller

"Easter is about Jesus: the Jesus who announced God's saving, sovereign kingdom..." - N T Wright

"Christianity is not "Jesus is our example." Christianity is "Jesus is our substitute."" - Tullian Tchividjian

"When the heart submits, then Jesus reigns When Jesus reigns, there is rest." - James Hudson Taylor

"To be a disciple of Jesus is to make disciples of Jesus." - David Platt

"I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it." - Demetri Martin

"And the news got worse. It appeared that there was this whole other person Jesus Christ whose birthday a lot of people tended to confuse with mine. I was personally outraged. It was a long time before I forgave the Lord for that." - Ava Gardner

"Happy Birthday!' I yelled, 'Now, shut up!" - Rick Riordan

"For my birthday, buy me a politician!" - Ice Cube

"hope your birthday is hot hot hot" - Jeff Kinney

"If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire ware before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed." - E. Jean Carroll

"God schedules a birthday, not man." - Robert A. Bradley

"New Year's Day is every man's birthday." - Charles Lamb

"I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days." - Rachael Ray

"On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles." - Mary Antin

"The only show my mother could afford to take me to when I was growing up was 'Cats', for my birthday." - Tammy Blanchard

"I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit." - Amanda Seyfried

"I left school on my 15th birthday." - David Bailey

"We are not saved by what Jesus taught, and we are certainly not saved by what we understand Jesus to have taught. We are saved by Jesus Himself." - Robert Farrar Capon

"To pray is to let Jesus come into our hearts. It is not our prayer which moves the Lord Jesus. It is Jesus who moves us to pray." - Ole Hallesby

"I think one day Madonna's going to say Jesus is Lord, one day Muhammad is going to say Jesus is Lord, Hitler will say Jesus is Lord." - Rick Warren

"A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted." - R. K. Milholland

"A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted." - Randy K. Milholland

"Fourth of July. My birthday is July first, and my best friend's birthday is July fifth, so it's always been a favorite holiday. It's all about having a cooler full of sodas, hot dogs, and just hanging out and shooting off firecrackers, being low-key, watching the fireworks." - Hilarie Burton

"Jesus took His flesh from the flesh of Mary" - Saint Augustine

"Jesus was lost in his love for God." - Rumi

"[Jesus] invoked a different kind of power: love, not coercion." - Philip Yancey

"There is power in simply speaking the name Jesus." - Lysa TerKeurst

"Jesus is never bored in his relationship with you." - Mike Bickle

"Every step you make in Jesus Christ enrages the devil." - Leonard Ravenhill

"Don't worry, Even Jesus never saw his real father" - J Cole

"May the heart of Jesus be loved everywhere." - Pope Leo XII

"I'm not convinced that Jesus only lives in Christians." - Tony Campolo

"Jesus made saving repentance possible and He made baptism meaningful." - John H. Groberg

"I see in my neighbor the Person of Jesus Christ." - Gerard Majella

"Jerusalem meant one thing for Jesus: certain death." - John Piper

"I'm passionate about two things: Jesus and liberation." - Michelle Shocked

"You never lose by giving it all to Jesus." - Louie Giglio

"Jesus, deliver me from the spirit of witchcraft!" - T. B. Joshua

"Jesus: a wine-guzzling vagrant and precocious socialist." - Barbara Ehrenreich

"The ANC will rule South Africa until Jesus comes back." - Jacob Zuma

"Jesus was and is the enemy of dead religion." - Eric Metaxas

"If Jesus were alive today, He would be a guerrillero." - Camilo Torres Restrepo

"Jesus was either a Liar, a Lunatic, or Lord" - C S Lewis

"Jesus taught that perseverance is the essential element in prayer." - Edward Mckendree Bounds

"Truly Jesus is the great need of our souls." - Hudson Taylor

"For Jesus Christ I am prepared to suffer still more." - Maximilian Kolbe

"Can anyone receive Jesus into his heart and not die?" - Imelda Lambertini

"Some turn to Jesus and some turn to heroin." - Joni Mitchell

"Jesus did not come to be the Messiah" - John Hagee

"I am half a man, holy Jesus, what a drag." - Randy Newman

"The religion of Jesus Christ is neither new nor strange." - Eusebius

"About Jesus we must believe no one but himself." - Henri Frederic Amiel

"Jesus has enough, is enough, and will be enough." - Louie Giglio

"Jesus is coming back - it could even be today." - David Jeremiah

"Who am I, Jesus, that You'd call me by name?" - Margaret Becker

"The time of Jesus and grace has come." - Joseph Prince

"Grace is the truth that Jesus came to give us." - Joseph Prince

"Ask Jesus what he wants from you and be brave!" - Pope Francis

"When you walk with Jesus, defeat turns into victory." - Beth Moore

"Jesus is the yes to every promise of God." - William Barclay

"Any who love Jesus will love others much more." - Mike Bickle

"Jesus cares more about desire than about competence" - Mike Yaconelli

"Jesus is being lost in a religion bearing his name." - Erwin Mcmanus

"In your pursuit of godliness, have you left Jesus behind?" - Elyse Fitzpatrick

"Live like Jesus did, and the world will listen." - Mahatma Gandhi

"The living Jesus will give you joy amid tribulation." - Richard Wurmbrand

"What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?" - Salman Rushdie

"In the morning when I rise give me Jesus." - Jeremy Camp

"To pray is to let Jesus come into our hearts." - Ole Hallesby

"My likeness to Jesus must be through suffering and humility." - Mary Faustina Kowalska

"Jesus came for the least, the lost, and the last." - Marilyn Hickey

"Be of good cheer, Jesus Christ maketh thee whole." - John Bunyan

"Everything is wrong until Jesus sets it right." - Aiden Wilson Tozer

"Jesus was a suicide, if you ask me." - Marsha Norman

"If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!" - Kinky Friedman

"Faith only glances at problems, but gazes upon Jesus." - Steven J Lawson

"We are great sinners; Jesus is a greater Savior!" - Steve Camp

"Surround yourself with prompts that remind you who Jesus is." - Bob Goff

"Catholics don't scream about Jesus, they scream about the bishop." - John Sandford

"Jesus is my forgiver, my leader, and my friend." - Lee Strobel

"Notorious sinners didn't kill Jesus. Religious people did." - Judah Smith

"Help me, Jesus. I know what I am." - Johnny Cash

"Jesus will not fail me, I shall not be moved." - Johnny Cash

"What did Jesus come to do? God saves." - Max Lucado

"Jesus came to save us from our own sins." - Max Lucado

"I'm not Jesus, but I have very valuable information." - Tyrese Gibson

"Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups." - Anonymous

"[Of the Beatles:] We're more popular than Jesus now." - John Lennon

"Apart from Jesus I am a greedy man." - Johnny Hunt



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