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Jerry Quotes

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"Hey, everybody, Jerry Maguire's here." - Susan Elizabeth Phillips

"Out upon you, Jerry! Jerry, you're a pity! Jerry, turn about and plant a garden in the City!" - Eleanor Farjeon

"I'm the Jerry Lewis of crime fiction." - Harlan Coben

"I sold my house to Jerry Seinfeld." - Billy Joel

"Art Monk was an example for Jerry Rice. That's what Jerry always told me." - Ronnie Lott

"Hi, folks, I'm Jerry Gross. No, I'm not, I'm Jerry Coleman." - Jerry Coleman

"I feel a little like Rod Tidwell from Jerry Maguire" - Kendrick Meek

"Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst." - Jerry Seinfeld

"I love 'Jerry Maguire.' I absolutely love it." - James Corden

"I don't want to be in the Jerry Sandusky business." - Bob Costas

"Jerry Orbach is just phenomenal. He is genius, so present." - Michael Cudlitz

"It's not the same without Jerry. It never will be." - Bill Kreutzmann

"Jerry Bruckheimer has made millions of dollars producing propaganda." - Brendan Sexton Iii

"Thank God for Jerry Springer's show. I thought only black folks were that screwed up until I watched Jerry Springer." - Charles Barkley

"They thought they were Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall. In fact, they were more like Tom and Jerry" - Bob Geldof

"Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds." - Dennis Miller

"I love the Dead. As far as Jerry Garcia, Jerry Garcia could walk on water. He could do anything any man could ever do. He's a prince." - Duane Allman

"We got on American Bandstand, where kids would dance to a record and then rate it. We called ourselves Tom and Jerry. I was Jerry." - Paul Simon

"He's the greatest clutch player I've ever seen. The hell with Jerry West!" - Pat Riley

"[Jerry Brown] is California's way of celebrating the Year of the Child." - Jimmy Carter

"Jerry Falwell can go straight to hell - and I mean that in a Christian way." - Jimmy Carter

"Jerry [Garcia] got high and Jerry's dead. I went hunting and I'm still Ted." - Ted Nugent

"A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat." - Michael O'Donoghue

"Jerry Kilgore offers denial and delusion, ... Mr. Kaine Delusion and deceit. That means nothing happens." - Russ Potts

"Jerry Garcia was one of the original American icons. He played naturally and beautifully." - Ornette Coleman

"Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead did as much for mankind as any president." - Grace Slick

"Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect." - Billy Wilder

"I don't know if Jerry Lawler got here in a plane, or a time machine." - Alex Riley

"I used to pretend that I was Tom attacking Jerry, who was drawn on the ball" - Monica Seles

"Haha, you lose! I got your delicious Subway sandwich Jerry 'stupid' Lawler!" - Santino Marella

"I'm Jerry Lawler, I make fun of women because I have no self-esteem." - Santino Marella

"Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey." - Charles Barkley

"Hell and damnation, life is such fun with a ragged greatcoat and a Jerry gun!" - Alexander Blok

"Jerry Goldsmith is the 1 composer working now. He's open to new ideas and always inventing." - Elmer Bernstein

"If you gave [Jerry] Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox." - Christopher Hitchens

"Don't wait for someone else to complete you. 'Jerry Maguire' was just a movie." - Oprah Winfrey

"Next up [new TV stars] was [Dean] Martin and [Jerry] Lewis on 'The Colgate Comedy Hour.'" - Norman Lear

"O Jerry... Don't let's ask for the moon! We have the stars!" - Olive Higgins Prouty

"Hell and damnation, life is such fun with a ragged greatcoat and a Jerry gun!" - Alexander Blok

"On Jerry Falwell: If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox." - Christopher Hitchens

"Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry." - Janet Evanovich

"Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time." - Lyndon B Johnson

"I loved Carl Perkins, Jerry lee Lewis... not only were they personal friends." - Wanda Jackson

"Jerry and I hoped that it would be a popular bestseller." - Tim Lahaye

"If you could see the instructions that I gave Jerry to begin with, I'd be embarrassed." - Tim Lahaye

"A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat." - Michael Odonoghue

"My influences were Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry." - Micky Dolenz

"Harry Patch didn't get enough recognition. Jerry Garcia got too much." - Trevor Dunn

"Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd." - Trey Parker

"Jerry Seinfeld made a puddle, I stepped in it, and wonderful things happened." - Jason Alexander

"What I always say is that we're the illegitimate children of Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lewis." - Kevin Mcdonald

"I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City." - Harland Williams

"Not only do I sing to him, I sing entire conversations. You become Jerry Lewis." - Paul Reiser

"You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble." - Mark Russell

"Before I ever put anything on paper, Jerry and I would talk back and forth." - Joe Shuster

"I used to pretend that I was Tom attacking Jerry, who was drawn on the ball." - Monica Seles

"Jerry Coleman was the kind of player who made me proud to wear the pinstripes." - Joe Torre

"Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions." - Hal Sparks

"I was very keen on people like Elvis, Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Gene Vincent." - Robin Trower

"It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap." - Norman Wisdom

"Written with passion, honesty, humor, and a stubborn, rebellious optimism, Dear Marcus is like nothing I've ever read. When a bullet in the back told Jerry McGill not to go on, Jerry went on-smiling." - Shalom Auslander

"Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?" - Denis Leary

"Nobody can make a movie as exciting as Jerry Bruckheimer. When it's a Jerry Bruckheimer movie that it's going to have lots of chrome and gloss, it's going to be sexy, and it's going to be big and fun." - Nicolas Cage

"Jerry picked up the technique of visualizing the story as a movie scenario; and whenever he gave me a script, I would see it as a screenplay. That was the technique that Jerry used, and I just picked it up." - Joe Shuster

"You know, it's cigarettes that killed Jerry Garcia. Everyone thinks it's heroin, but it wasn't. It was cigarettes." - John Mellencamp

"Jerry Lumpe looks like the best hitter in the world until you put him in the lineup." - Casey Stengel

"You know, it's cigarettes that killed (Jerry) Garcia. Everyone thinks it's heroin, but it wasn't. It was cigarettes." - John Mellencamp

"One of my greatest personal heroes is Jerry Lopez. When you can snowboard like he surfs, you'll be there!" - Frederick Lenz

"Golfers are genuinely courteous in a discourteous world. Show me a guest on The Jerry Springer Show who's a golfer." - James Woods

"Gypsies at home watching Jerry Falwell on TV, might mean something to you, it ain't nothing to me." - Tom Petty

"You beef wit me, I'm-a even the score equally. Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally." - Eminem

"Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican." - Bob Hope

"[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween... Don't Give Up on Me." - Jamie Lee Curtis

"Are not the worst examples of architecture to be found in private enterprise in cheap jerry-built homes?" - Hugh Dalton

"Bonkers is kind of a combination of Jerry Lewis and Harpo Marx, which is very strange because Harpo never spoke!" - Jim Cummings

"When I started out I was definitely more traditional. It was 1988. Everyone was doing the Jerry Seinfeld." - Joe Rogan

"I think that Jerry Bruckheimer just kind of has his finger on the pulse of what America wants." - Boti Bliss

"Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson." - Kinky Friedman

"In many ways when Jerry Ford pardoned Nixon, in a certain way, he did speak for the country." - Morley Safer

"Back then, I, most rockers loved Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis... you know in the '60s." - Joe Cocker

"Jerry Rice made the decision and we honestly tried to accommodate him the best way we can." - Al Davis

"I think the Canadian Football League is a great league, but it's not the NFL, and I'm not Jerry Rice." - Darren Flutie

"I'm looking forward to talking to Bill Parcells, too, and to seeing how that marriage with Jerry Jones goes." - Lisa Guerrero

"Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.'" - Jason Alexander

"I'm no Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn't raised with some backyard with a creek and trees and all that." - Tracy Morgan

"It's grown into a personal relationship, yeah. I'm crazy about Jerry. I think he's a unique character." - Jon Voight

"In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show." - Marilyn Manson

"Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors." - Bernie Mac

"Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything." - Michael Bamberger

"Jerry Garcia was a great American master and the Grateful Dead are not just a genuine piece of musical history, but also an important part of American history," - Trey Anastasio

"The loss of Jerry Garcia feels like the end of an era in the same way it felt when Elvis died and John Lennon was killed." - Lyle Lovett

"There is not a sentence in the world that could respectfully do justice to the life and music of Jerry Garcia." - Branford Marsalis

"Approximately four years ago, we were told that Jerry Rice would be a free agent and there were people who felt that he no longer could contribute." - Al Davis

"A lot of people say Jerry Lee Lewis done wrong, but that has yet to be proven in the eyes of God." - Jerry Lee Lewis

"From Lucifer to Jerry Sneak there is not an aspect of evil, imperfection, and littleness which can elude the lights of humor or the lightning of wit." - Edwin Percy Whipple

"Everyone thinks my name is Jerry Laitis and they call me Mr Laitis. What can you do when you have a name that sounds like a disease?" - Vitas Gerulaitis

"Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'" - Craig Kilborn

"I wouldn't wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia." - Kurt Cobain

"Rock and roll was something to fall back on. If I had my choice, I'd be Jerry Rice and I'd be playing until I was forty-five." - Darius Rucker

"I would' wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia." - Kurt Cobain

"We all [Ed Simmons,Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis] started together, so there were no rules - anything we wrote became television." - Norman Lear

"What I love more than anything is Jerry Goldsmith's 80's music and Bernard Herrmann's genre music from the 50's and 60's." - Bear McCreary

"If you listen to old Jerry Lee Lewis records, he'll always - about nine times out of 10 have the lyrics different than the original record is." - Chris Isaak

"I grew up, I was going I want to be Jerry Lee Lewis. Only I can't play piano and sing that good." - Chris Isaak

"Relax for a moment my Jerry Come out of your dark monastery While Venus is beaming above. Darling, let's talk about love." - Cole Porter

"We've sure come a long way since then. Sometimes I wish we hadn't. I hate H-bombs and the Jerry Springer show." - Kurt Vonnegut

"I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family." - Jeff Foxworthy

"I know Jerry [Falwell] fairly well, and he's probably not bright enough to recognize all of the implications of what he said." - John Shelby Spong

"With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great." - Jerry Oconnell

"Jerry Goldsmith is an artist who meets all the demands upon the composer in films. He communicates, integrates, subordinates, supports, and designs with discipline." - Jerry Goldsmith

"I couldn't watch Tom and Jerry. The cruelty was too much. I had all these strange images, of tiny animals, all mixed up." - Julie Walters

"I never got tired of Tom and Jerry, but I did have a dream of doing more with my life than making cartoons." - Joseph Barbera

"I've always wanted to play Jerry Seinfeld's son, actually, because he's the only person who anyone ever says I look like, in my entire - ever in my life." - Paulo Costanzo

"Jerry Rice had won two Super Bowls already by the time he got to his ninth year in the league. That's what it's all about: winning that ring." - Larry Fitzgerald

"I was never close to Jerry Falwell because he had his ministry, I had mine. And we came from different theological training and from a different psychological education." - Robert H Schuller

"I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that." - Mike Judge

"Jerry Bruckheimer really is an executive producer, who obviously is the most successful producer in the history of film and television." - Dylan Mcdermott

"With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great." - Jerry O'Connell

"I wasn't going to let Jerry Sloan embarrass me, because basketball had a proper role in my life. I suspected my basketball philosophy wasn't the bottom line anyway." - John Amaechi

"I wouldn't wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia." - Kurt Cobain

"Jerry Bruckheimer says that he makes films that he would want to see, and it seems that that coincides with what a lot of people want to see." - Bill Nighy

"Jerry Garcia used to take his paints on the road. I don't do that. Either I'm a singer or a painter. I'm not good at multi-tasking." - Grace Slick

"Me and Jerry left because we felt we weren't getting anywhere playing our old songs in tiny clubs. The group was getting stale and staying behind the times." - Johnny Thunders

"In 1974, the modeling world changed. Jerry Ford and my lawyer negotiated the deal for the first exclusive contract in modeling history." - Lauren Hutton

"My mother always told me that no matter how much you dislike a person, when you meet them face to face you will find characteristics about them that you like. Jerry Falwell was a perfect example of that. I hated everything he stood for, but after meeting him in person, years after the trial, Jerry Falwell and I became good friends." - Larry Flynt

"There are no Jerry Garcias coming down the pike, anymore than there is a Jimi Hendrix or Bob Marley. They are all at the same level - the highest level that you strive to get to as a musician. Me and my friends - we'll all be long dead, people will still be trying to dig into what Jerry Garcia did." - Trey Anastasio

"Cameron threw her hands up in frustration. "What is this so-called 'look'?" Whatever it was, she was going to have to start taking extreme measures to guard against it. Amy grinned. "You know the Tom and Jerry cartoon where Tom hasn't eaten for days and he imagines Jerry looking like a ham? Kind of like that." - Julie James

"I can't deny that Jerry Springer supposedly beating us didn't affect me. There was a point where I felt like, Golly, you work so hard, you try so hard and the people say they want meaningful television and then Jerry Springer ends up beating you. It was disturbing." - Oprah Winfrey

"We mocked that concept ['movies are better than ever'] by doing a sketch that was about a theater trying to get one customer to come in...and that customer was Jerry Lewis. It generated so much controversy that Dean [Martin] and Jerry [Lewis] had to apologize in a full page ad in Variety." - Norman Lear

"Cameron threw her hands up in frustration. "What is this so-called "look"?" Whatever it was, she was going to have to start taking extreme measures to guard against it. Amy grinned. "You know the Tom and Jerry cartoon where Tom has' eaten for days and he imagines Jerry looking like a ham? Kind of like that." - Julie James

"When you work on a Jerry Bruckheimer film, you can be sure of two things: no production value will be spared, and the catering will be as fine as any really really good restaurant. Jerry is an amazing producer, with a commitment to his films second to none." - William Fichtner

"Jerry Robinson illustrated some of the defining images of pop culture's greatest icons. As an artist myself, it's impossible not to feel humbled by his body of work. Everyone who loves comics owes Jerry a debt of gratitude for the rich legacy that he leaves behind." - Jim Lee

"I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. 'What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What's going' - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I'd just start talking like people. You know, I always had that." - Jimmy Fallon

"When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, looking at the world around him, that voice was really starting to come into its own." - Warren Littlefield

"My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy." - Roseanne Barr

"Some labeled Jerry Falwell an American version of the Ayatollah Khomeni. People for the American Way, a group organized to counter the Moral Majority, launched a slick media campaign attaching the Nazi slur to the religious right." - Charles Colson

"You could put Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, Chuck Berry and Bo Diddley on one side of the stage, and James Brown on the other, and you wouldn't even notice the others were there!" - Bill Wyman

"You weren't supposed to hear Elvis Presley. You weren't supposed to hear Jerry Lee Lewis. You weren't supposed to hear Robert Johnson. You weren't supposed to hear Hank Williams. And they told the story of the secret America." - Bruce Springsteen

"I really liked Tom & Jerry. That was huge for me. I watched it every morning, before I walked to school. Even as a kid, I thought there was something really smart about it. I thought it was very clever." - Jason Lee

"I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today." - Gerald Ford

"Some good souls found The Candidate cynical. I wonder what they'll think when they read this portrait of the real-life Jerry Brown... This is the book that could force the little fox into the open." - Jeremy Larner

"You know how is it when you love someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is that you never stop loving someone. There's always a piece of them in your heart." - Neil Gaiman

"There is no one who has ever created music with the combination of intelligence, intuition, depth, creativity, and humor that Jerry Garcia has. His work and life will continue to be a limitless source of inspiration for all of us." - Bruce Hornsby

"Not until Mister Haggin abruptly picked him up under one arm and stepped into the sternsheets of the waiting whaleboat, did Jerry dream that anything untoward was to happen to him." - Jack London

"Conservatism is a very good thing; but how many conservatives announce principles which might have shocked Dick Turpin, or nonsensicalities flat enough to have raised contempt in Jerry Sneak!" - Edwin Percy Whipple

"A terrific sadness swept over Jerry. As if somebody had died. The way he felt standing in the cemetry that day they buried his mother. And nothing you could do about it." - Robert Cormier

"A new sickness invaded Jerry, the sickness of knowing what he had become, another animal, another beast, another violent person in a violent world, inflicting damage, not disturbing the universe but damaging it." - Robert Cormier

"Jerry (Rice) played until he was 42. At 39, I ran a 4.43 40-yard dash. You look at the number of dropped balls and the way guys are playing now and you can't honestly say I can't do better." - Terrell Owens

"I had an opportunity many, many times to go to the Playboy Mansion with Hugh Hefner. Jerry Buss asked me many times and you know what, looking back that was stupid of me not going there." - Marcel Dionne

"When you strip it all away, Jerry Garcia (former Grateful Dead guitarist) destroyed his life on drugs. And yet hes being honored, like some godlike figure. Our priorities are out of whack, folks." - Rush Limbaugh



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Jerry, Jerry Springer Show, Tom and Jerry,