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Jerry Springer Show Quotes


"Thank God for Jerry Springer's show. I thought only black folks were that screwed up until I watched Jerry Springer." - Charles Barkley

"Golfers are genuinely courteous in a discourteous world. Show me a guest on The Jerry Springer Show who's a golfer." - James Woods

"In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show." - Marilyn Manson

"We've sure come a long way since then. Sometimes I wish we hadn't. I hate H-bombs and the Jerry Springer show." - Kurt Vonnegut

"I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family." - Jeff Foxworthy

"You know how is it when you love someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is that you never stop loving someone. There's always a piece of them in your heart." - Neil Gaiman

"The talk show, as a genre, has been in decline for a while. It started with Jerry Springer, when the talk shows suffered a metamorphosis, going from the real and social issues to the hair-raising." - Cristina Saralegui

"Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions." - Hal Sparks

"I couldn't do my show without spending 12 years on the streets of Humboldt Park. It made me a better interrogator. Still, if they had taken me out of my squad car and gave me a show, I would've been terrible. But on 'Springer,' the spotlight was on Jerry and I got to grow up within the show." - Steve Wilkos

"The Broadway audiences are very vocal and seem very engaged. For certain shows, especially with a show like 'The Heiress,' the audience's reactions sound like 'The Jerry Springer Show' sometimes. That seems to be a very New York thing. Oh, there's also the entrance round of applause here, which we don't get too much in London." - Dan Stevens

"You beef wit me, I'm-a even the score equally. Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally." - Eminem

"By the physicality alone it was evident that we have one person [who] is incredibly smart, incredibly tough, and able to deal with him in a very, very calm and intelligent manner. And [Donald Trump] thought he was on The Jerry Springer Show." - Natalie Portman

", I have a friend living as a woman. But she's almost too "normal," to be quite frank. I'm not relying on her, because "The Jerry Springer Show" has such huge characters. I'm trying to come up with a little more dysfunction than that." - Max von Essen

"I don't have 'The Jerry Springer Show'. I just got 'Family Feud', but some of them families, when they lose, man, they have some real conversations with each other back behind that wall, but I've never been involved in any of them." - Steve Harvey

"For instance, my friend would never go on the show to air her dirty-laundry. But Tremont is outrageous! I've been watching a lot of clips of "The Jerry Springer Show" on YouTube (I can't tell you how many clips there are!) I get to witness these men going through the process to become women and what they're sharing. My character is pre-op. She's had the breast augmentation but still got "the goods" down there." - Max von Essen

"But if you get a kick out of "The Jerry Springer Show," you're going to love it! The idea of hearing these lyrics and profanities - like the chorus at the top of the show - the idea that we're going to hear it in Carnegie Hall is just genius. It's been written with real care! It's not some crappy little musical that somehow found its way off-Broadway with vulgar-intentions. This is really beautiful, operatic music. It has a place in Carnegie Hall." - Max von Essen

"Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'" - Craig Kilborn

"I'm a New Yorker. I'm liberal and open-minded. Things don't really shock me. But I was reading the second-act today and thinking that if you're religious, you could be. But you shouldn't be! You can be extremely religious and have your faith and still be open-minded to art. Because this is art. That's part of the excitement. It literally is "The Jerry Springer Show" on-stage set to beautiful operatic music. That's what's so incredible about it!" - Max von Essen

"I can't deny that Jerry Springer supposedly beating us didn't affect me. There was a point where I felt like, Golly, you work so hard, you try so hard and the people say they want meaningful television and then Jerry Springer ends up beating you. It was disturbing." - Oprah Winfrey

"Let's try to find ten good things to say about Albert Belle: 10. So far as we know, he's never killed anyone. 9. He is handsome, and built like a God. 8. He played every game. 7. He has never appeared on the Jerry Springer Show. 6. He was an underrated base runner who was rarely caught stealing. 5. He hasn't been arrested in several years. 4. He is very bright. 3. He works hard. 2. He has never spoken favorably about Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, or any other foreign madman. 1. The man could hit." - Bill James

"My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy." - Roseanne Barr

"Jerry Springer Because isn't this interesting? Of all our 43 presidents, of the 43 presidents - Sean Hannity Don't bring up race. Do not bring up race. Do not bring up race. It is a constitutional requirement." - Sean Hannity

"There's was no pressure on it for me - I just went in and had fun. Whatever Jason Moore, the director, asked me to do, I did it! I ran around the room acting like a crazy guest on "Jerry Springer" and yelling at the audience. I just went for it." - Max von Essen

"I've been watching 'Pawn Stars' every week for the last year. I like learning about the history behind the items that people bring into the pawnshop. I actually pawned a ring once that a woman sent to me while I was on 'Jerry Springer.' It was really gaudy." - Steve Wilkos

"People were fed up with reality shows about midgets getting married and weird Jerry Springer talk shows. There had been a real dry spell of intelligent family-oriented viewing: the type of program that Mom, Dad and the kids can all watch together. With 'Lost,' there are just so many characters for people to invest in." - Evangeline Lilly

"Its called show business, not show art." - Jean Seberg

"Don't show your flaws." - Drew Barrymore

"The original reality show." - Regis Philbin

"Disneyland is a show." - Walt Disney

"I hate show business." - Joni Mitchell

"When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, looking at the world around him, that voice was really starting to come into its own." - Warren Littlefield

"My friend Jerry Falwell was the one who said it, and he was a guest on my show, and it's hard to take the blame for everybody who shows up on your show." - Pat Robertson

"Show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief." - George Herbert

"Don't show up to prove. Show up to improve." - Simon Sinek

"It's also show business. It's not "show fun friends"." - Lauren Graham

"Show me a poet, and I'll show you a shit." - A J Liebling

"Show me a smile, and I'll show you one back." - Vanilla Ice

"But this is called show business, not show family." - Alice Barrett

"Show me an elitist, and I'll show you a loser." - Tom Clancy

"'The David Letterman Show' is a show of comedy." - Jesse Ventura

"Playing show after show is like my bread and butter." - Ani Difranco

"Hey, everybody, Jerry Maguire's here." - Susan Elizabeth Phillips

"Show love! Love feels good!" - Gia Allemand

"Show me success without ego!" - Ivana Trump

"Government is not show business." - Warren Beatty

"Show business is my life." - Lewis Grizzard

"Show up, show up, show up, and after a while the muse shows up, too." - Isabel Allende

"I did host the Jim Rome show with Jerry Ferrara for three hours when he was on vacation. Three hours is a long time. Think about how long that is. It was tricky, but it was a great experience." - Kevin Connolly

"Jerry Seinfeld, he was doing Letterman show all the time, so he kind of had an excuse, that people know the jokes already. He didn't have time to do stand-up. A guy like me, I have no excuses." - Dave Chappelle

"I don't like my wrestling or entertainment in general to be too clean or predictable for me as a fan. When I say clean, I'm not talking about dirty jokes, middle fingers and stuff like that. I'm actually not even a big fan of that. A lot of people talk about the attitude era being so great but a lot of it was terrible crap, sex jokes and over-the-top terrible bad comedy. It was Jerry Springer-like. They made a joke about a woman's breasts. Hilarious, but where's the wrestling? I look back on a lot of stuff now, and I'm like where's the wrestling? It's just a lot of crappy jokes." - Dean Ambrose

"Out upon you, Jerry! Jerry, you're a pity! Jerry, turn about and plant a garden in the City!" - Eleanor Farjeon

"Every TV show is a crapshoot, really. But every once in a while, a show gets anointed as 'the show." - Simon Baker

"Every TV show is a crapshoot, really. But every once in a while, a show gets anointed as 'the show.'" - Simon Baker

"Allowing children to show their guilt, show their grief, show their anger, takes the sting out of the situation." - Martha Beck

"Running a TV show is always running a TV show; it's never not running a TV show." - Joss Whedon

"I'm the Jerry Lewis of crime fiction." - Harlan Coben

"I sold my house to Jerry Seinfeld." - Billy Joel

"Journalists love to show their compassion." - Bernard Goldberg

"Surveys show that surveys never lie." - Natalie Angier

"Teaching is a form of show business." - Steve Martin

"Religion will never show the way." - Irving Stone

"Talk is cheap. Show me the code." - Linus Torvalds

"Those who show off do not shine." - Laozi

"Show me anger and I will show you 'Hurt'. Show me hurt and I will show you 'Love'. Peel the layers if you care!" - Rumi

"Show the readers everything, tell them nothing." - Ernest Hemingway

"If I'm going to show cleavage or chest then I don't show leg. I show one thing. If I show leg then everything else is covered up." - Tracee Ellis Ross

"It's not sissy to show your feeling." - Princess Diana

"It feels good to show some courage." - Joe Namath

"It's not sissy to show your feeling." - Diana, Princess of Wales

"The big show is inside my head," - Kurt Vonnegut

"...chaos doesn't run the whole show." - Saul Bellow

"Boxing is just show business with blood." - Frank Bruno

"Boxing is show-business with blood." - David Belasco

"Be smart, but never show it." - Louis B. Mayer

"Babies are saved when Christians show up." - Dennis Green

"I'm not a show-off by nature." - Kate Moss

"Show me how big your brave is." - Sara Bareilles

"Hey kids! Let's put on a show!" - Mickey Rooney

"We'll show the fire how to burn." - Ben Howard

"Every show could be the last one." - Gg Allin

"Whipping is fifty percent show and noise." - Anne Rice

"The brain runs its show incognito." - David Eagleman

"Show love, tolerance and respect to everyone." - Lauren Faust

"It's terrifying to show incomplete footage." - Dylan Clark

"Our healthcare is a horror show." - Donald Trump

"You cannot show weakness in this world." - George W Bush

"The end will show the whole truth." - William the Silent

"We were about ways to show money." - Robert Denning

"A Pin To See The Peep-Show" - F. Tennyson Jesse

"I believe the show must go on." - Shahrukh Khan

"Go see, ask why, show respect." - Fujio Cho

"Show true religion, cause words don't relieve" - Francis Chan

"Film has to describe and show." - Ralph Bakshi

"I watch every reality show out there." - Shannon Elizabeth

"Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains." - Winston Churchill

"It takes strength to show vulnerability." - Miranda Lambert

"Politics is show business for ugly people." - Paul Begala

"Show business got really tainted for me." - Anna Chlumsky

"St. Elsewhere was certainly a great show." - Mark Harmon

"My home has always been show business." - Sammy Davis Jr

"'The Simpsons' is an especially collaborative show." - Matt Groening

"There's no business like show business." - Irving Berlin

"There's no people like show people." - Irving Berlin

"I definitely do weird things every show." - Kristen Schaal

"That's what show business is, sincere insincerity." - Benny Hill

"I have a hit TV show." - Kim Kardashian

"Just show up and things will happen." - Mother Teresa

"I guess the story that best defines us [with Bud Yorkin] and our relationship goes back to the [Dean] Martin and [Jerry] Lewis show. The four stage managers on that show became major TV creators and directors - John Rich, Jack Smight, Arthur Penn and Bud Yorkin." - Norman Lear

"Art Monk was an example for Jerry Rice. That's what Jerry always told me." - Ronnie Lott

"Hi, folks, I'm Jerry Gross. No, I'm not, I'm Jerry Coleman." - Jerry Coleman

"My partner after Fred Freeman was Jerry Belson. And Jerry Belson, after I was doing so well writing situation comedy, said, this is not good enough. We got to create our own shows. I said, but we're very happy doing this. No, no, no, you got to get your own show. So he made me - and he and I created our own shows. And we actually - everything we created failed. "Hey, Landlord" was our first show - 99th in the ratings. But imagine this - it's a great reflection on the years." - Garry Marshall

"Show me someone who never gossips, and I'll show you someone who isn't interested in people." - Barbara Walters

"Show me a completely contented person and I'll show you a failure." - Thomas A Edison

"Show the World where you're from, show the World we are one..." - Pitbull

"Show me 12 drunkards and I will show you 12 nagging wives." - Charles Spurgeon

"You show me a great program and I'll show you a passionate individual somewhere behind it." - Andy Hertzfeld

"Winning means everything...You show me a good loser and I'll show a loser." - George Steinbrenner

"Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one." - Josh Billings

"Show me an orchestra that likes its conductor and I'll show you a lousy conductor." - Goddard Lieberson

"Show me an executive that works long hard hours and I'll show you a bad executive." - Ronald Reagan

"I think God runs the show. Completely. Life proves it every day: He runs the show" - Mariska Hargitay

"Show me a gracious loser and I'll show you a failure." - Knute Rockne

"I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma." - Bill Maher

"Show me someone not full of herself and I'll show you a hungry person." - Nikki Giovanni

"If the abstract paintings show my reality, then the landscapes and still-lifes show my yearning." - Gerhard Richter

"Show me where a man spends his time & money, and I'll show you his god." - Martin Luther

"Show me a character totally without anxieties and I will show you a boring book." - Margaret Atwood

"The first show I ever worked on was The Killing, which was a whodunit crime show." - Bex Taylor-Klaus

"We've taken a show about destruction and turned it into a show about construction." - Anson Mount

"CES, at its core, isn't a show about electronics. It's a show about time." - David Berkowitz

"Show me how you drive and I'll show you who you are." - Vin Diesel

"You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala." - George Carlin

"Show me a person who hasn't known any sorrow and I'll show you a superficial." - Tennessee Williams

"Show me a bad script and I will show you a big payday." - Al Pacino

"You show me a 50-foot wall and I'll show you a 51-foot ladder." - Janet Napolitano

"You show me someone who's led a perfect life and I'll show you a dullard." - Rob Lowe

"If the show sucks, I ain't happy. If the show is damn good, I'm very happy." - Stephen A. Smith

"In essence, your eyes don't show you what you see they show you what you believe." - Steve Maraboli

"Jah show every mon him hand, and Jah has show I mine." - Bob Marley

"Show me someone without an ego, and I'll show you a loser." - Donald Trump

"Show me a poorly uniformed troop and I'll show you a poorly uniformed leader." - Robert Badenpowell

"Show me a good loser and I will show you a loser." - Paul Newman

"It is a reality show... this show is never without drama." - Mario Vazquez

"You can't really compare any TV show to a show written by Aaron Sorkin." - Constance Zimmer

"Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot." - Edgar Bergen

"Show me a good loser and I'll show you an idiot." - Leo Durocher

"How do you show what's not there? How do you show energy?" - Shea Hembrey

"Every show I've ever, you know, produced, essentially it's the show I want to watch myself." - Simon Cowell

"I probably get more satisfaction from making a show than being on a show." - Simon Cowell

"The G7, just a European centric show, an Atlantic show, is fundamentally finished." - Paul Keating



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