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Ham Quotes

RELATED QUOTES

"Born ham, that's basically me." - Whoopi Goldberg

"I'm not a musician - I'm a ham." - Ozzy Osbourne

"Eternity is a ham and two people." - Dorothy Parker

"Art is like ham-it nourishes people." - Diego Rivera

"Canadian bacon isn't bacon. It's ham." - Bill Maher

"Nothing helps scenery like ham and eggs." - Mark Twain

"I'm definitely a ham for the paparazzi." - Steveo

"I guess I'm a born ham." - Marta Kristen

"If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham." - Groucho Marx

"I am a ham! And the ham in an actor is what makes him interesting." - John Carradine

"I got ham but I'm not a Hamster" - Bill Bailey

"West Ham play a speficic type of game - football." - Artur Boruc

"You is what you am, a cow don't make ham." - Frank Zappa

"Ham with mustard is a meal of glory" - Dodie Smith

"An actor is part illusionist, part artist, part ham." - Oscar Wilde

"The definition of eternity is two people and a ham." - Dorothy Parker

"Yevgeny Yevtushenko is a ham actor, not a poet." - Allen Tate

"As far as I'm concerned, everything's ham and jam." - Darrell Royal

"I'm a ham. I always like to answer spontaneously." - Gloria Vanderbilt

"My head looks like an uncooked ham with glasses." - Chris Ware

"I've got a lot of ham in me." - Lionel Barrymore

"Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces." - Jack Benny

"I'm a natural ham. It doesn't bother me to perform." - Chris Isaak

"I was a huge ham in school in Atlanta." - Hannah Storm

"Many an actor does the stage more ham than good." - Evan Esar

"Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round." - Roy Blount Jr

"There was a little bit of ham in me. And there's a lot of people say there's a lot of ham in me." - Sam Donaldson

"I never really took any acting classes. I'm just a natural ham, I guess." - Queen Latifah

"West Ham have committed 13 fouls, but they weren't fouls, they were commitment" - Ray Wilkins

"Clearly a black man's life is not worth a ham sandwich," - Michael Steele

"You see the dilemma?" Ham asked. "I see an idiot," Breeze mumbled." - Brandon Sanderson

"Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper." - Will Rogers

"If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out." - Robert Benchley

"Eat from the Tree of Life and throw away the verbal ham." - Sadat X

"How the fuck you feed a tree?...What...you put a ham sandwich on the tree?" - Ozzy Osbourne

"Say! I like green eggs and ham! I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!" - Dr. Seuss

"Any good prosecutor can get a grand jury to indict a HAM sandwich." - Sol Wachtler

"A grand jury would 'indict a ham sandwich,' if that's what you wanted." - Sol Wachtler

"Love grew commendably dependable - love was eggs, love was ham, love was the morning paper." - Graham Moore

"A ham is simply any actor who has not been successful in repressing his natural instincts." - George Jean Nathan

"I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am." - Dr. Seuss

"In Germany, salads are assemblies of ham and mayonnaise, not trendy tossed leaves." - Rachel Johnson

"I was voted Biggest Ham and Likeliest to Become a Celebrity." - Kristen Johnston

"Normally a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich if a prosecutor asks it to." - Chuck Robb

"My father used to brag that I wasn't a ham, I was the whole pig." - Jim Carrey

"Although my dad Harry is the manager of West Ham, we get on very well." - Jamie Redknapp

"Hey, I'm not a politician. I'm a ham. I love to give speeches." - Norman Schwarzkopf

"I'm not a philosopher, I'm just a simple boy from East Ham." - David Bailey

"Any part of the piggy Is quite all right with me Ham from Westphalia, ham from Parma Ham as lean as the Dalai Lama Ham from Virginia, ham from York, Trotters Sausages, hot roast pork. Crackling crisp for my teeth to grind on Bacon with or without the rind on Though humanitarian I'm not a vegetarian. I'm neither crank nor prude nor prig And though it may sound infra dig Any part of the darling pig Is perfectly fine with me." - Noel Coward

"If God was giving me a ham, I'd be crazy not to receive it. Maybe it was the ham of God, who takes away the sins of the world." - Anne Lamott

"I like pork chops and country ham, creamed potatoes, stuff like that. Redeye gravy. It comes from ham, bacon, stuff like that. It's the grease that you fry it in. I eat a lot of Jell-O. Fruit Jell-O." - Elvis Presley

"Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham." - Garrison Keillor

"[My mother] once cooked a ham and later found it in my father's shirt drawer. I am not kidding." - Dick Van Dyke

"I'm an appalling cook. I can just about create a glass of orange juice and a ham-and-cheese sandwich." - Dara O Briain

"I'm very happy to have moved to West Ham, because I can play for a better team than Sheffield Wednesday." - Paolo Di Canio

"A tin horn politician with the manner of a rural corn doctor and the mien of a ham actor" - H L Mencken

"Troubles cured you salty as a country ham, smoky to the taste, thick-skinned and tender inside." - Marge Piercy

"Ham smiled. "Cett's going to be furious." Elend shrugged. "He's a paraplegic. What's he going to do? Bite us?" - Brandon Sanderson

"Meaty jelly, too, especially when a little salt, which is the case when there's ham, is mellering to the organ." - Charles Dickens

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed." - Martina Navratilova

"I just came to West Ham to play football, the rest is not for me to say." - Carlos Tevez

"I love making buckwheat crepes with ham, Parmesan cheese, and a fried egg on top. It's my go-to breakfast." - Taylor Swift

"I used to do school plays. I never really took any acting classes. I'm just a natural ham, I guess." - Queen Latifah

"She's got those big black eyes with plenty shiny white in them that makes them shine like brand new money and she knows what God gave women eyelashes for, too. Her hair is not what you might call straight. It's negro hair, but it's got a kind of white flavor. Like the piece of string out of a ham. It's not ham at all, but it's been around ham and got the flavor." - Zora Neale Hurston

"Being a Georgia author is a rather specious dignity, on the same order as, for the pig, being a Talmadge ham." - Flannery O'Connor

"He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart" - C S Lewis

"One wit, like a knuckle ham in soup, gives a zest and flavour to the dish, but more than one serves only to spoil the pottage." - Tobias Smollett

"Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine." - Peg Bracken

"The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig." - Ogden Nash

"Ham shook his head, sitting down, pouring himself something to drink. "I don't get it, El. Why'd she attack him?" "She's loony," Spook said." - Brandon Sanderson

"I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches." - Mira Grant

"I was always sort of a ham as a kid, just always wanting to entertain and to get people to laugh." - Haley Lu Richardson

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'." - Anonymous

"Well, Joe Biden has done it again. He showed up at the White House Passover Seder with a bunch of ham sandwiches." - Jay Leno

"One wit, like a knuckle of ham in soup, gives a zest and flavour to the dish, but more than one serves only to spoil the pottage." - Tobias Smollett

"Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldn't eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Seuss inspired me to try cauliflower!" - Jim Carrey

"I am a real ham. I love an audience. I work better with an audience. I am dead, in fact, without one." - Lucille Ball

"When I was a kid, I didn't have any girlfriends. I was a very nerdy-type dude. Believe me, being a ham does not turn girls on." - Terry Crews

"Down South, even our vegetables have some pig hidden somewhere in it. A vegetable isn't a vegetable without a little ham hock." - Paula Deen

"My father was a ham radio geek, and I remember the glow of the vacuum tubes from a Hammarlund receiver that became a hand-me-down to me." - Bre Pettis

"Matthew Williamson has always been a favourite of mine, and I am definitely also rooting for up-and-coming designers like Michael van der Ham." - Sophie Turner

"The man who comes to take care of my piranhas told me that if I left West Ham he would kill all my fish." - Paolo Di Canio

"I can't really cook, but the first dish I ever made was for my girlfriend, Eleanor. I made chicken breast wrapped in ham, homemade mashed potatoes, and gravy." - Louis Tomlinson

"I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, "If you ever yell at me to "stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go" again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off."" - Dane Cook

"We"re never satisfied when it comes to food. "You know what"d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let's use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!"" - Jim Gaffigan

"We're never satisfied when it comes to food. 'You know what'd be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let's use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!'" - Jim Gaffigan

"We're never satisfied when it comes to food. 'You know what'd be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let's use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!'" - Jim Gaffigan

"Mary Katherine Ham I still don't think she's a Nazi. Bill O'Reilly I didn't say she was a Nazi. Mary Katherine Ham Alright. Bill O'Reilly I only said there's no difference between what the two do. I want everybody to know that." - Bill O'Reilly

"During a recent event at a restaurant called Tommy's Country Ham House in South Carolina, presidential candidate Ben Carson delivered a speech right after he lost his front tooth. Which still left him with more teeth than everyone combined at Tommy's Country Ham House." - Jimmy Fallon

"Call me All-American, but I love Ham and Cheese sandwiches. And not just any old ham and cheese sandwich... My mother's is the best. I've tried many times to make these sandwiches on my own, but it's never the same." - Andy Roddick

"Ham will continue to be servant of servants, as the Lord decreed, until the curse is removed. will the present struggle free the slave? No; but they are now wasting away the black race by thousands.... Treat the slaves kindly and let them live, for Ham must be the servant of servants until the curse is removed. Can you destroy the decrees of the Almighty? You cannot. Yet our Christian brethren think that they are going to overthrow the sentence of the Almighty upon the seed of Ham. They cannot do that, though they may kill them by thousands and tens of thousands." - Brigham Young

"After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye." - Chi Chi Rodriguez

"I am a ham. I've no business being rock 'n' roll. I've said it over and over again that I'm a classical composer, dishevelling my personality by dabbling in rock 'n' roll." - John Cale

"Compared to a novel, a film is like an economy pizza where there are no olives, no ham, no anchovies, no mushrooms, and all you"ve got is the dough." - Louis De Bernieres

"I think a band that doesn't have a sense of humor can come up with their own take on whimsy.Kind of lead-footed and ham-handed, but I think just all the better for that." - Michael Mckean

"I definitely knew that I loved acting from the very beginning. I was such a ham growing up. Wherever the camera was, I wanted to be right in front of it." - Naya Rivera

"I am lucky to be what I am! Thank goodness I'm not just a clam, or a ham, or a dusty jar of sour gooseberry jam! I am what I am - that's a great thing to be!" - Dr. Seuss

"If you had a daily printout from the brain of an average twenty-four-year-old male, it would probably go like this: sex, need coffee, sex, traffic, sex, sex, what an asshole, sex, ham sandwich, sex, sex, etc" - Kate White

"I love being in my kitchen. I'm quite a traditional cook, but I make a mean omelette. I'd like to open an omelette restaurant. Cheese and ham, chilli and mushroom, whatever you fancy, I'll rustle up." - Suzanne Shaw

"When I came to Chelsea from West Ham there were certain parts of my game I felt I needed to improve and I like to think now that I have shown dramatic improvement." - Frank Lampard

"Our traditions have been waking up on Christmas morning and feasting on a southern breakfast. I'm from the South. We eat grits and biscuits and gravy and eggs with Ritz crackers and country ham, bacon, you name it. - Leigh" - Leigh-Allyn Baker

"This whole theory of alienation that intellectuals have been passing on, really is just to stop a lot of ham acting. If you fill something with a proper emotion, it didn't worry him at all." - John Hurt

"I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I Am." - Dr. Seuss

"(On bizarre Conspiracy Theories) - Countries are actually closer than you think...Pilots just fly aeroplanes around longer to make you THINK they're far away - There are tiny cameras in ham...They're called 'Hameras" - Bill Bailey

"Why...is the hunter who shoots a deer for venison subject to more criticism than the person who buys a ham at the supermarket? Overall, it is probably the intensively reared pig who has suffered more." - Peter Singer

"This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs." - Terry Pratchett

"Our traditions have been waking up on Christmas morning and feasting on a southern breakfast. I'm from the South. We eat grits and biscuits and gravy and eggs with Ritz crackers and country ham, bacon, you name it." - Leighallyn Baker

"The little pig began to pray But Wolfie blew his house away. He shouted, "Bacon, Pork, and Ham! Oh what a lucky wolf I am!" And though he ate the pig quite fast, He carefully kept the tail till last." - Roald Dahl

"Compared to a novel, a film is like an economy pizza where there are no olives, no ham, no anchovies, no mushrooms, and all you've got is the dough." - Louis De Bernieres

"'J'eet jet?' is still the standard way for a Pittsburgher to ask if you're ready for a meal, but the meal itself is no longer limited to chipped ham and an Iron City beer." - Bill Dedman

"The plan was that I was going to retire and take a job with the American Federation, but Nottingham Forest offered me a contract and there was interest from West Ham and another Premiership club." - Richard Gough

"I do a mean beef Wellington. Gordon Ramsay's is a phenomenal recipe. But that's a lot of prep. The secret to wrap it in Parma ham before wrapping in pastry. I'm so pro smuggling more meat in." - James Corden

"I figure it's almost like a balance. We're eating these wonderful collard greens and turnip greens which are so medicinally good for you and, OK, so what if it has a little ham hock in it?" - Paula Deen

"My brother, who's a violinist now, was the real ham, the real performer of the family. His passion for the violin is the only thing that kept him from being an actor." - Peter Dinklage

"Over the years I've tweaked my stuffing recipe many times, adding a variety of ingredients like sauteed wild mushrooms, dried cherries, fresh chevre, toasted hazelnuts, chopped ham hock meat, and other taste treats." - Tom Douglas

"My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that." - Paul Lynde

"My mom always knew I was going to be an actor because I was a ham from the very beginning, so she would push me toward it, which is really unconventional for Indian families to do." - Aarti Mann

"Why...is the hunter who shoots a deer for venison subject to more criticism than the person who buys a ham at the supermarket? Overall, it is probably the intensively reared pig who has suffered more." - Peter Singer

"I have the insecurities of any actress, I suppose of any woman. Even the most beautiful ones feel unhappy. Look at Bardot: she was suicidal. But I like to play with the camera. I like to ham it up." - Chloe Sevigny

"HAM radio is very inexpensive, it is nearly unlimited and free to use. The only limitation is that you can only talk for five minutes to any given person because the station gets out of range within that time." - Charles Simonyi

"My parents would read those books to me as well but they used to make me starving when I was a kid because they were always eating ham sandwiches with the crusts off and drinking ginger beer." - Mike Myers

"I came out wanting to be an actor. From my first view of the world, that's what I wanted to be. I'm made of 99 percent ham and 1 percent water. I was just cooked that way!" - Mike Myers

"I could be ordering ham at the deli, and someone will turn around and look at me and kind of stare. They'll just look at me like, 'I know I know your voice, and I know I know your face.'" - Rutina Wesley

"When I cook for my family on Christmas, I make feijoada, a South American dish of roasted and smoked meats like ham, pork, beef, lamb, and bacon - all served with black beans and rice. It's festive but different." - Maya Angelou

"anyone know where Kell is?" "Sleeping," Vin said. "He came in late last night, and hasn't gotten up yet." Ham grunted, taking a bite of baywrap. "Dox?" "In his room on the third floor," Vin said. "He got up early, came down to get something to eat, and went back upstairs." ... Ham raised an eyebrow. "You always keep track of where everyone is like that?" "Yes." - Brandon Sanderson

"Black was bestlooking. ... Ebony was the best wood, the hardest wood; it was black. Virginia ham was the best ham. It was black on the outside. Tuxedos and tail coats were black and they were a man's finest, most expensive clothes. You had to use pepper to make most meats and vegetables fit to eat. The most flavorsome pepper was black. The best caviar was black. The rarest jewels were black: black opals, black pearls." - Ann Petry

"God turns clouds inside out to make fluffy beds for the dogs in Dog Heaven, and when they are tired from running and barking and eating ham-sandwich biscuits, the dogs find a cloud bed for sleeping. God watches over each one of them. And there are no bad dreams." - Cynthia Rylant

"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'" - Mitch Hedberg

"In the centre of a spacious table rose a pastry as large as a church, flanked on the north by a quarter of cold veal, on the south by an enormous ham, on the east by a monumental pile of butter, and on the west by an enormous dish of artichokes, with a hot sauce." - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

"There's a schizoid quality to our relationship with animals, in which sentiment and brutality exist side by side. Half the dogs in America will receive Christmas presents this year, yet few of us pause to consider the miserable life of the pig - an animal easily as intelligent as a dog - that becomes the Christmas ham." - Michael Pollan

"I don't think I could walk down the street wearing bubbles or a dress made of ham. What Lady GaGa has done has been kind of amazing. I am the opposite. I wear clothes I would wear on the street. I'm all about a real look." - Rihanna

"You can imagine how the kids teased me, with a name like Chris Hemsworth. 'Kiss Ham'sWart'-that's what they called me. Meaning if there was a piece of ham with an ugly wart on it, I was such a loser I'd probably kiss it. It was endless." - Chris Hemsworth

"The days when the words Hollywood actor framed Ronald Reagan like bunny fingers as an ID tag and an implied insult seem far-off and quaint: nearly everybody in politics - candidate, consultant, pundit, and Tea Party crowd extra alike - is an actor now, a shameless ham in a hoked-up reality series that never stops." - James Wolcott

"Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'" - George Carlin

"The crowds at West Ham haven't been rewarded by results, but they keep turning up because of the good football they see. Other clubs will suffer from the old bugbear that results count more than anything. This has been the ruination of English soccer." - Ron Greenwood

"I'm not much of a fly tier. I can do it-my friend calls it 'ham and eggs tying'-and I tie some cool flies that I ca' buy in a fly shop, but other than that, I would no more sit down and tie a dozen hopper patterns than I would do something absolutely insane, like build a rod." - Jack Ohman

"Cameron threw her hands up in frustration. "What is this so-called 'look'?" Whatever it was, she was going to have to start taking extreme measures to guard against it. Amy grinned. "You know the Tom and Jerry cartoon where Tom hasn't eaten for days and he imagines Jerry looking like a ham? Kind of like that." - Julie James

"I will not eat them in a house, i will not eat them with a mouse,i will not eat them in a box i will not eat them with a fox, i will not eat them here of there i will not eat them anywhere, I do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am" - Dr. Seuss

"Don't get me wrong. I love a Denver omelette as much as the next girl. But I'm curious whether that's your thing, or if you try to change up the routine depending on the specific woman. You know... like, green pepper because I have green eyes, ham because I'm so funny, and onions for all the tears you'll shed after I leave." - Julie James

"The pig and the chicken were on their way to breakfast, trying to decide what to have. When chicken said, Let's have ham and eggs. The pig then replied, That's fine for you, it's a small donation on your part, but it's a total sacrifice for me." - Anonymous

"I can remember certain Manchester United defeats the way most people remember family bereavements or great political events. The four-nil drubbing by Barcelona, the failure to score against West Ham, the New Year's Day calamity at home to Spurs, the mauling by Middlesborough." - Tom Dunne

"You don't see no city when you look at me cause country's all I am. I love runnin' barefoot through the old cornfields and I love that country ham. Well you say I'm made just to fit your plans but there's a barnyard shovel pick your hands. If your eyes are on me you're lookin' at country." - Loretta Lynn

"When I was 24, I was full of life. I was that ham who wanted to be famous, a movie star, all that stuff. I think it's cool. But it was not what I was searching for, really. It was more a delusion." - Jean-Claude Van Damme

"TV by and large has become a dime-store business so far as creativity and talent are concerned. The half-hour and sixty-minute series rattle off the production lines like cans of beans, with an occasional dab of ham inside." - Hedda Hopper

"I'm not much of a fly tier. I can do it-my friend calls it 'ham and eggs tying'-and I tie some cool flies that I can't buy in a fly shop, but other than that, I would no more sit down and tie a dozen hopper patterns than I would do something absolutely insane, like build a rod." - Jack Ohman

"The odor of frying bacon, sausage links, and ham tiptoed on little pig feet all the way to the north end of the second floor. Inevitably, the odor made her simultaneously ravenous and nauseated. She hated the sensation. It reminded her of pregnancy. Every Sunday morning, Leigh-Cheri awoke to a pan of fried fear." - Tom Robbins

"When you get born your father and mother lost something out of themselves, and they are going to bust a ham trying to get it back, and you are it. They know they can't get it all back but they will get as big a chunk out of you as they can." - Robert Penn Warren

"It was argued that the Negro was inferior by nature because of Noah's curse upon the children of Ham.... The greatest blasphemy of the whole ugly process was that the white man ended up making God his partner in the exploitation of the Negro." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"I'll obey them in the winter when the doctors say to me I must give up ham and spinach, and obedient I'll be. To relieve my indigestion in December they can try, But there's none of them can stop me when it's time for cherry pie." - Edgar Guest

"There would have to be bread, some rich, whole-grain bread and zwieback, and perhaps on a long, narrow dish some pale Westphalian ham laced with strips of white fat like an evening sky with bands of clouds. There would be some tea ready to be drunk, yellowish golden tea in glasses with silver saucers, giving off a faint fragrance." - Rainer Maria Rilke



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