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Funny Dogs Quotes


"Experts are just trained dogs." - Albert Einstein

"That is not all I need. I need dogs. A house filled with dogs and a smart, funny, kind, loving girlfriend or wife." - Moby

"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?" - Eleanor Porter

"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?" - Eleanor H. Porter

"Dogs do tricks. Cats play tricks." - Eloisa James

"Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore." - Bernard Manning

"I'm really funny now." - Wanda Sykes

"My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not." - Anna Held

"I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?" - Joe Pesci

"I'm just not very funny." - Ira Glass

"Love's Pestilence, and her slow dogs of war." - Percy Bysshe Shelley

"Dogs want only love but cats demand worship." - Lucy Maud Montgomery

"Cats always land on their feet. Dogs don't." - Eloisa James

"Dogs are high on life. Cats need catnip." - Eloisa James

"I am funny. No one else thinks I am funny. But I am funny." - Lorraine Bracco

"Funny is funny is funny." - Bob Newhart

"Well I'll Be Damned. This is funny." - Doc Holliday

"How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing." - Les Dawson

"Chris Rock is a very funny man." - Willie Geist

"I never say a funny thing intentionally." - Jayne Meadows

"Not everybody agrees on what's funny, obviously." - Tim Meadows

"I was not funny growing up." - Tim Meadows

"I had a very funny family." - Zach Braff

"Keep your sense of humor. Stay funny." - Frederick Lenz

"If you're sick, watch funny movies." - Mandy Patinkin

"I don't mean to be funny." - Yogi Berra

"Sex is funny and love is serious." - Stephan Jenkins

"You know, funny can be universal." - Maz Jobrani

"I'm just a dog person. I love dogs very much, especially big ones, hounds, and retrievers. I think they are funny and often have good senses of humor. Plus, they give unconditional love." - Arthur Bradford

"Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." - Jerry Seinfeld

"I like dogs. Dogs don't judge people." - Peter James

"Dogs change lives. Half Buddha, half Bozo, they keep us tethered to the earth, and teach us to fly. Our dogs are our sanity keepers." - Pam Houston

"I do think funny is like sexy. You're either funny and sexy, or you're not." - Christine Baranski

"Ain't it funny what people say? Ain't it funny what people write?" - Rich Mullins

"I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny." - Chris Messina

"Funny is funny." - Don Rickles

"I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too." - Wanda Sykes

"I had this funny family. At one end, they were breeding dogs in south-east London - for greyhound racing - and at the other, my uncle was living in Downing Street. And I would actually go to Downing Street, which didn't strike me as funny. I'd get on the number 15 bus." - Michael Moorcock

"Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch." - George Carlin

"Dogs don't make mistakes." - Arthur Conan Doyle

"Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs." - Josh Billings

"The greatest hatred, like the greatest virtue and the worst dogs, is silent." - Jean Paul

"I have had a long unabashed love affair with dogs that stretches back to early childhood." - Caspar Weinberger

"Dogs smoke in France." - Ozzy Osbourne

"Dogs eat. Cats dine." - Ann Taylor

"He that lies down with dogs shall rise up with fleas." - Proverbs

"Is there not yet oppression in the country? A starving of men and pampering of dogs?" - John Donne

"Cowardly dogs bark loudest." - John Webster

"Let sleeping dogs lie." - Robert Walpole

"I love dogs." - David Schwimmer

"I love my dogs." - Serena Williams

"My feet are dogs." - Rudolf Nureyev

"I love dogs." - Josh Hutcherson

"I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny." - Joan Rivers

"Money is what makes a man act funny." - Eminem

"Funny how a melody sounds like a memory." - Eric Church

"isn't it funny how danger makes people passionate?" - Zelda Fitzgerald

"You know it's them books what make you talk funny." - Lauren Myracle

"The funny thing about sustainability is you gotta sustain it." - Ron Finley

"I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes." - Reese Roper

"The world is meaningless and therefore it's funny." - Jimenez Lai

"I love to do comedy, and I don't think of things as drama or comedy. I think that if it's a funny line, it's a funny line. If it's a funny moment, it's a funny moment." - Kathy Baker

"I know how to be funny to black audiences." - Brandon T Jackson

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." - Peter Ustinov

"I'm, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky." - Shantel Vansanten

"Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh." - Tom Lehrer

"But I've never looked at myself as being particularly funny." - Tea Leoni

"I thought I was funny as a kid." - Jo Brand

"Saturday Night Live' was like a university for funny." - Tracy Morgan

"I try to be funny and not ignorant." - Kevin Hart

"There's a lot more to me than just funny." - Steve Harvey

"It's funny how you call me a celebrity. Oh man." - Steven Hill

"Funny, I don't feel any more powerful today than yesterday." - Jerry B Jenkins

"I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny." - Sarah Silverman

"When the situation is serious, don't be funny; and when the situation is funny, don't be serious!" - Mehmet Murat Ildan

"When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way." - Michael Buble

"I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny." - Jason Alexander

"It's funny because it's funny." - David Spade

"I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny." - Anthony Jeselnik

"Max-Dogs, dogs, go away, let me live another day." - James Patterson

"Let sleeping dogs lie or lying dogs sleep or whatever. Time to move on. People get divorced. Life doesn't owe you your own personal happy ending especially at another's, or in this case several others', expense." - Axl Rose

"If you're going to make such an unholy fuss about dogs you should have stayed in England, where they feed the dogs steak and let people in the slums die of starvation." - Jessica Mitford

"Weak dogs become bones for other, stronger dogs." - Tad Williams

"I've grown up with dogs and love dogs." - Stephanie Zimbalist

"I'm on a diet. It's very strict: all hot dogs. Just sausages, constantly. It's working out - I've gained fifteen pounds!" - Beth Ditto

"Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads." - Harry S Truman

"Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone." - Lenny Bruce

"Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out." - Anne, Princess Royal

"Dogs wait for us faithfully." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Great men have great dogs." - Otto Von Bismarck

"Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." - P. J. O'Rourke

"They talk as they are wont, not as I merit; traduce by custom, as most dogs do bark." - Ben Jonson

"Dogs are us, only innocent." - Cynthia Heimel

"Dogs never lie about love." - Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson

"Great men always have dogs." - Ouida

"Dogs are miracles with paws." - Sark

"The Internet, of course, is more than a place to find pictures of people having sex with dogs." - Philip Elmer-DeWitt

"I love pets, especially dogs." - Jurgen Klopp

"My favorite animals are dogs." - Jane Goodall

"Dogs are nicer than people." - Andy Rooney

"Dogs are miracles with paws." - Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

"I detest dogs, those protectors of cowards who have not the courage to bite the assailant themselves." - August Strindberg

"Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs." - John Osborne

"Dogs live longer than rappers." - Nas

"Dogs are my favorite people." - Richard Dean Anderson

"Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal." - Wanda Sykes

"I have seven rescue dogs." - Miranda Lambert

"Don't treat the dogs like people. Treat the dogs like dogs. They are better than people." - Charles Manson

"I bring my dogs on set with me, and my little dog Karoo is smart as a whip. She knows where the craft-services food tables are, so anytime I can't find her, I know she has found her way to that area. She's a funny dog." - Hilary Swank

"What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human." - Ze Frank

"I don't really hashtag things. Unless I'm talking to somebody and I'm being funny and I say something mean but then I'm like, Hashtag...something that's funny. I like to only hashtag funny things, not real stuff." - Bella Thorne

"[Shaquille O'Neal ] walked in and said we were hiring him, so we said, "Yes sir!" Shaq is a genuinely funny guy. He's really funny in the movie. He's not just a stunt cast- he's a genuinely funny actor." - Dennis Dugan

"I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor." - Thomas Jane

"I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose." - James Patterson

"My parents were funny. My brothers were funny. We just laughed and had a good time. Growing up, it breeds that. It breeds your funny. It breeds your creativity." - Kym Whitley

"Carol Leifer is funny, really funny." - Chris Rock

"Not funny ha ha, funny weird" - Dean Koontz

"I think my general disposition on life is finding what's funny about it. When something happens, the first thing in my mind is, "What's funny about it?"" - Will Smith

"Everybody funny, now you funny too." - George Thorogood

"If something is very, very funny but possibly controversial, if it's truly funny, then it's worth doing. Things aren't worth doing for the sake of being controversial." - John Mulaney

"When I'm doing a drama, I wish I was doing something funny. When I'm doing something funny, I wish I was doing something more serious." - Alan Ruck

"I look for the meaning in what's funny, and I look for what's funny about things that are meaningful to me." - Harold Ramis

"I grew up in a house with dogs. We always had dogs. We always had a bunch of dogs, actually." - Lee Pace

"I've always found relationships, men and women, the fact that they are so radically different, and it manifests itself in so many different ways, and yet somehow we still try to live together and be friends. I find that endlessly valuable as a source of material for humor. Generally dogs are always funny in my opinion. And the federal government - just a relentlessly productive source of humor." - Dave Barry

"Dogs are great assets to candidates, and the feeling seems to be engendered that if a dog loves the candidate, he can't be all that bad." - Dick Gregory

"Who let the dogs out? Who, who." - Mitt Romney

"Just as dogs love to chew bones, the mind loves to get its teeth into problems. That's why it does crossword puzzles and builds atom bombs." - Eckhart Tolle

"Dogs serve people, but people serve cats." - Temple Grandin

"Dogs are fantasies that don't disappoint." - Caroline Knapp

"Dogs bark and the caravan goes by." - Jose Mourinho

"Dogs bark at what they don't understand." - Heraclitus

"Dogs never bite me. Just humans." - Marilyn Monroe

"Dogs are more loyal. Cats are fickle." - Carol Thatcher

"Great men have always had dogs." - Ouida

"Dogs are our link to paradise." - Milan Kundera

"Only my dogs will not betray me." - Maria Callas

"Dogs don't bark at parked cars." - Lynne Cheney

"Dogs keep a promise a person can't." - Hannibal

"Dogs are the magicians of the universe." - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

"Thus I knew that pups are like dogs, and kids like goats; so I used to compare great things with small." - Virgil

"Let dogs delight to bark and bite, For God hath made them so; Let bears and loons grown and fight, For 'tis their nature too." - Isaac Watts

"Life is a series of dogs." - George Carlin

"Im an ambassador for Medical Detection dogs." - Lesley Nicol

"Let slip the dogs of champions." - Jose Mourinho

"I like dogs Big dogs Little dogs Fat dogs Doggy dogs Old dogs Puppy dogs I like dogs A dog that is barking over the hill A dog that is dreaming very still A dog that is running wherever he will I like dogs." - Margaret Wise Brown

"Everything I know, I learned from dogs." - Nora Roberts

"Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience." - Jon Winokur

"You should keep dogs-fine animals-sagacious." - Charles Dickens

"Dogs, ye have had your day!" - Alexander Pope

"Dogs have owners, cats have staff." - Margaret Benson



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