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Funniest Quotes

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"The funniest people are the saddest once" - Confucius

"Here's my most funniest joke, I'm broke." - Lil Wayne

"Here's my most funniest joke, I'm broke." - Lil Wayne

"The funniest things are the forbidden." - Mark Twain

"There's all kinds of theories among the cartoonists: start with funniest, end with funniest." - Robert Mankoff

"Telling the truth is the funniest joke in the world." - George Bernard Shaw

"The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level." - John Krasinski

"And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats." - George Carlin

"Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich." - Ambrose Bierce

"I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room." - Del Close

"I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff." - Bill Maher

"I am one of the funniest people on the planet." - Dick Gregory

"[Vincent Price] was the funniest damn guy I ever met." - Cassandra Peterson

"MAUSOLEUM, n. The final and funniest folly of the rich." - Ambrose Bierce

"I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman." - David Alan Grier

"Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is." - Douglas Coupland

"My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew." - Russell Peters

"'Blazing Saddles' is one of the funniest movies ever made." - Adam Mckay

"My kids are the funniest two human beings there are." - Kevin Hart

"The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff." - Dick Gregory

"I think that music at inappropriate times with inappropriate volumes can be the funniest thing ever." - Ed Helms

"Johnston's books are beautifully written and among the funniest I have ever read." - Annie Dillard

"The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it." - W C Fields

"The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles." - Garrison Keillor

"You shone like a star. The funniest, wisest writer & the finest friend" - Neil Gaiman

"I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family." - Dave Attell

"The world's most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice..." - Chetan Bhagat

"You know what the funniest thing about Europe is? It's the little differences." - Quentin Tarantino

"The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"I don't wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood." - Gabriel Iglesias

"I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people." - Ben Feldman

"Some of my funniest thoughts come to me while I'm taking a shower." - Justin Hires

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." - George Bernard Shaw

"I thought that the description of Don Quixote's fight with the windmills the funniest thing imaginable." - Stanislaw Ulam

"Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women." - Rachel Bloom

"Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school." - Vanessa Bayer

"Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all." - Muhammad Ali

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world." - Muhammad Ali

"Some of the funniest people I know are not screwed up in the head." - Darrell Hammond

"Jimmy Fallon is one of the funniest son of a guns I've ever seen." - Christian Kane

"Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew." - W C Fields

"My daughter is the funniest person I know, and I couldn't imagine my life without her." - Donna Air

"What I try to do is always get the newest, funniest people in anything." - Allison Jones

"George Hamilton is one of the funniest men I have ever known." - Britt Ekland

"I think 'lunch' is one of the funniest words in the world." - Stephen Sondheim

"The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles." - Garrison Keillor

"People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive." - Tracy Morgan

"I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it." - Tig Notaro

"As in, I think Badlands is one of the funniest films of all time: Every day I wish I was carried off to a magical land, but that never happened is one of the funniest lines in any film." - Richard Ayoade

"Well, Jen and Josh are the two funniest people on set. They're absolutely insane. If you put them together, it's just a disaster, But, I mean, it's so much fun! They're both probably the funniest people on set." - Willow Shields

"The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that's probably why they're the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it." - Jim Norton

"The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that's probably why they"re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it." - Jim Norton

"As in, I think 'Badlands' is one of the funniest films of all time: 'Every day I wish I was carried off to a magical land, but that never happened' is one of the funniest lines in any film." - Richard Ayoade

"I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey." - Sally Phillips

"Van Ritzen is one of the funniest humans I've ever met. Read her book, laugh, lather, rinse, repeat." - Mark Leiren-Young

"Some of the funniest moments I've ever experienced have been in the midst of tragic situations in my life." - Sarah Polley

"Think of the funniest story from your life. Chances are, it was something awful at the time." - Gina Barreca

"This impeccably researched study of the classic black insult game may be the funniest work of serious scholarship ever published." - Terry Teachout

"Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane." - Drew Carey

"Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest." - Andy Kindler

"My drummer is my favorite drummer in the world, and he also happens to be the funniest person you'll meet." - Aaron Bruno

"I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television." - Ronnie Barker

"The show was written just for us. We all thought we were the prettiest and the funniest." - Dixie Carter

"Ty Burrell could be one of the funniest people on the planet. I'd love to meet him." - Brooke Elliott

"Racing Stripes was so much fun to do. It's one of the funniest movies I've seen in a couple years." - Bruce Greenwood

"By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much." - Jemima Kirke

"My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family." - Seth Meyers

"My father was the funniest man I ever met. He made Redd Foxx look like an undertaker." - Henry Louis Gates

"I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?" - Cecily Strong

"Anyone in the comedy world knows that Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell are two of the funniest guys around." - Adam Mckay

"Sometimes, I find that just the simplest, cleanest things that are intelligently performed are funniest to me." - Kaitlin Olson

"When I was 3, my mom sent in a video of me singing George Strait to 'America's Funniest Home Videos.'" - Austin Mahone

"[On the ERA Equality March:] It's the funniest thing. I don't feel there's any discrimination. I know my husband feels that way." - Pat Nixon

"The nicest veterans in Schenectady, I thought, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who'd really fought." - Kurt Vonnegut

"Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out." - Dave Barry

"One of the funniest lines in my show was written for me by Alan Bursky. I really want to learn this routine!" - Lance Burton

"I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. If it's a sock puppet, if it's a stool, I'll do it." - Tig Notaro

"It feels like when I write, it's intuitive. This is true of Frances, and it's true of this [The Funniest Movie Of The Summer]." - Greta Gerwig

"I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire life, and continues to be." - Seth Rogen

"I thought she was the funniest woman, and I believed being a comedian was the most exciting thing you could be." - Maya Rudolph

"He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It doesn't mean he doesn't bug me and I'm sure I bug him sometimes." - Sarah Jessica Parker

"Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!" - Jack Handey

"Annie Lalley is one of the funniest and most likable personalities you'll ever see on stage -which makes the depth of her songwriting all the more striking" - Pierce Pettis

"Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks." - Carl Reiner

"The funniest thing is that all the things every director goes through, I thought I could shortcut, but there was no getting around those issues." - George Clooney

"And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste." - George Carlin

"The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!" - David Cross

"Fred Savage,he's America's sweetheart, like I always say. One of the funniest, nicest, most decent... I love him like a brother." - Rob Lowe

"Bumble-Ardy looks like a happy book. That's the funniest thing about it. But this was survival. I was working very hard to survive." - Maurice Sendak

"I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know." - Mel Brooks

"Although Kurt Vonnegut may not be considered a humor writer, 'Breakfast of Champions' is one of the funniest books I've ever read." - Justin Halpern

"Steve Howey is probably the funniest man in Hollywood. For real. He is just that person that can make you laugh at all times." - Shanola Hampton

"I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear." - Paul Neilan

"I have a fantastic husband. Here's the honeymoon part: I still think he's the funniest, wittiest, most clever man I've ever known." - Sarah Jessica Parker

"I was asked about doing a nude shoot for men's magazine GQ. I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard." - Julie Walters

"The thing that's great about those guys at Miramax is the Weinstein brothers. They are the two funniest guys I've ever met in my life." - Ted Demme

"Some people would say comedy draws from some dark places, from your dark stuff. Life's great optimists aren't necessarily the funniest people." - Colin Firth

"My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it." - Chevy Chase

"But I'm kind of spoilt when it comes to comedy. I was on 'Friends', which was one of the funniest things on television." - Matt Leblanc

"That's the funniest thing about portraying certain things on screen, sitting next to your parents and they get to see this glimpse of me kissing another guy." - Kate Bosworth

"My favorite show is America's Funniest Home Videos. People will get hit on the head and I feel bad cause I'm laughing my head off!" - Corbin Bleu

"Cartoons are the best stuff on TV. 'Wonder Showzen,' 'Aqua Teen,' 'SpongeBob,' and, of course, 'South Park' - one of the funniest shows ever made." - Akiva Schaffer

"I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy." - Paul Shaffer

"I was in high school when Will Ferrell was first on 'Saturday Night Live', and I remember thinking, 'Man, that guy is the funniest guy ever.'" - Seth Rogen

"Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of." - Maya Angelou

"We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest." - Meg Cabot

"My dad's one of the funniest men in the world. I grew up with him making me laugh so much I'd beg him to stop." - Rafe Spall

"What I do know is that traditional gender roles are very real and flipping the norm is difficult for even the strongest, funniest, smartest men." - Patti Stanger

"Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with the characters." - Joe Viterelli

"My mum said to me once years ago, which really spurred me on, 'You're the funniest person I know'. I loved that." - Miranda Hart

"I mean, I find things that happened in real life to be the funniest - things that you observe instead of crazy abstract things, you know." - Jonah Hill

"I am so proud that 'Up' is Pixar's 10th film. I think it's the funniest film that we've ever made and also one of the most beautiful." - John Lasseter

"On 'Taxi,' I had the great fortune of directing many wonderful episodes, none more classic than Reverend Jim's driving test. It was maybe the funniest show I did." - James Burrows

"We Germans should know that we're good at constructing cars, and we have a lot of good qualities. But we're not the funniest." - Daniel Bruhl

"I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high." - Albert Brooks

"A lot of the things I find funniest about people are their shortcomings that they're oblivious to, but that they're constantly reminding everyone around them of." - Emile Hirsch

"While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox." - Simon Hoggart

"Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't." - Chris Pratt

"Roy Blount, who is the funniest person I know, journeys deep into the dark heart of humor and brings back a wonderfully insightful, superbly crafted song of the soul that had me laughing and crying too" - Dave Barry

"I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it." - Meg Cabot

"I've been acting for many years now, and I find there's nothing I enjoy more than making films with my friends and people I like, who also are the funniest people around." - James Franco

"We have to agree beforehand to divide the funniest lines between us. But Tina [Fey] is so brilliant that I just love every moment working with her and also just hanging out together as friends." - Amy Poehler

"I need to be spontaneous sometimes. Sometimes I find that the little detail or nuance that you add to it that's based on what's happening at the time that's not very rehearsed often ends up feeling like the funniest thing." - Thomas Lennon

"Handling a painful situation in a comedic way is truly the funniest. That is extremely real to me and not kind of clownish. There is a thin line though; you can't overdo it." - Will Ferrell

"Greg Gutfeld is funnier than all the smart people I know, and smarter than all the funny people I know. I don't know what that makes him. But one of the smartest, funniest people I know, is fair to say." - Matt Labash

"And it's the funniest thing: as soon as I see it, the whistling in my ears stops and the feeling of terror drains away, and I realize this whole time I haven't been falling at all. I've been floating." - Lauren Oliver

"YouTube is a new experience for me-someone threw a laptop in front of me and showed me Nic Cage going mad, which has got to be the funniest thing on YouTube. He's so courageous." - Val Kilmer

"Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?"" - Matt Groening

"I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time." - Nick Cannon

"Joel Waldfogel is one of the smartest and funniest economists on the planet. I think of him every time I start to unwrap a present. Buy Scroogenomics for your friends and family. It makes the perfect Christmas gift." - Ian Ayres

"Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. "Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?" - Derek Landy

"People come up to me on the street and say, 'Men at Work (1990) is the funniest movie I ever saw in my life'. But, you know, I do have to question how many movies these people have seen." - Emilio Estevez

"Norm MacDonald is here - one of the funniest people ever. Norm's got a giant gambling problem. He's dropped more coin in a casino than Michael J. Fox at a parking meter." - Greg Giraldo

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta." - David Cross

"I've never seen a movie director who was happier to be directing a movie than Dave [Mamet]. His sets, everyone who's ever been involved with one of them will tell you of the funnest, funniest sets you can be on." - Clark Gregg

"It makes it really hard to just go to a dinner party because, in my work life, I'm surrounded by the funniest people, ever. I'm really spoiled. I laugh a lot, in my day." - Jenna Fischer

"To me, comedies are usually the least funny movies. Movies that are actually a comedy are usually not all that funny. To me Goodfellas and Raging Bull are two of the funniest movies I ever saw." - Louis C K

"I don't think I'll write a large novel again because it was like being in jail for me. Even though that's the funniest book I've ever written, it was the saddest period of my life." - Sandra Cisneros

"Democracy in many parts of the world is undergoing a very deep crisis. Politics is becoming a branch of the entertainment industry. People vote not for the best leader, but for the funniest candidate." - Amos Oz

"Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner are the funniest dudes ever, and they have great careers on their own. They made great art in the '90s, and they still have dinner three times a week." - Nick Kroll

"I think Harold Ramis is a genius beyond genius, and he's the nicest guy, funniest guy, sweetest guy ever. So I don't know if it applies to everybody, but maybe it has to do with your childhood." - P J Soles

"Kanye [West] just says the funniest analogies that are so random. I should start keeping a book - in 20 years, I'll have a big book of analogies.They always make me laugh." - Kim Kardashian

"I'll see something awful on the street and I'll come home and say to my boyfriend, "I just saw the funniest thing on the street." It's a stance. It's the way I was born, or the way I was damaged." - Maria Semple

"I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill." - Gracie Allen

"I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I'm the least funny person in a room full of funny people." - Ben Feldman

"They [FBI] had a lot of clippings, a lot of articles I'd written. And to me the - the funniest one was - I had done a piece for Playboy about J. Edgar Hoover." - Nat Hentoff

"Some of the funniest moments I've had have been like, at a funeral. Somebody says something and everyone's laughing because you have so much pain, but you need that moment of levity." - Gloria Calderon Kellett

"I like drama as well. When I played Hamlet, I got one review that said, "This must surely be the funniest Hamlet in history," but schoolgirls would still cry when he died." - Jason Gann

"They say Allen got something from the Marx Brothers. He got nothing. Maybe twenty years ago, he might have been inspired. Today he's an original. The best, the funniest." - Groucho Marx

"He is probably choking on a pretzel or something. I hope nobody tells him that I have won this award while he is eating a pretzel.... He has the funniest lines in the film. I am eternally grateful to him." - Michael Moore



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