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Cab Driver Quotes


"You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me." - Ray Romano

"I had the cab driver drive me here backwards, and the dude owed me $27.50." - Mitch Hedberg

"It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party." - Eugene Mirman

"The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere." - Jimmy Fallon

"It's not a special taste. An American composer should have something to say to a cab driver." - Morton Gould

"I'm a good driver." - Ian Somerhalder

"Sometimes I get frustrated in traffic. I typically start going deep with my cab driver and Twitter feed - simultaneously - to take my mind off the gridlock. I enjoy live-tweeting my cab rides." - Andy Cohen

"A racing driver has to be a good driver." - Emerson Fittipaldi

"It's probably similar to being in New York City and having a cab driver behind you and you're driving too slow. It's not the most pleasant thing." - Barry Sanders

"I was just school class clown and that was it. Someday I'll get a job as a cab driver or whatever." - John Leguizamo

"Every songwriter lives to have at least one song that a cab driver who asks 'You write anything I know?' will recognize." - Rupert Holmes

"When you're in Los Angeles, everybody you meet is writing a movie, and they want you to be in it. Every cab driver is writing a movie!" - William Sadler

"The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you." - John Lennon

"What the mind cab conceive, it can achieve" - Napoleon Hill

"I never met a Cab I didn't like." - Graham Kerr

"An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out." - Arthur Baer

"A stubborn ass needs a stubborn driver" - Khaled Hosseini

"The designated driver?a friend for life!" - Anonymous

"I'm the slowest driver in the world." - Anthony Hopkins

"I'm a very, very conservative driver." - Emile Hirsch

"Anyway, a spokesman for Barack Obama says the prisoners that are released from Guantanamo will either be sent back to their home countries or enter the New York City cab driver training program." - Jay Leno

"well, death says, as he walks by, I'm going to get you anyhow no matter what you've been: writer, cab-driver, pimp, butcher, sky-diver, I'm going to get you" - Charles Bukowski

"I was dating a guy once who spoke rudely to a taxi driver. I got out of the cab and walked home. Treat people with respect. I've waited tables, and that's why I just exceedingly overtip. It's exhausting work." - Kesha

"You can get in a cab in Vancouver and the 20-year-old driver speaks more knowingly of Michael Ovitz than anyone in the industry. They just know! And it's perhaps not unhealthy." - William Gibson

"I literally was saved by a role, from becoming a cab driver. I never did have to wait tables, though, so looking back I guess I had it pretty soft." - Sam Waterston

"The greatly anticipated 2009 Masters was like going to a Broadway hit and finding out that the star, Sir Tiger Woods, was off that night, and his replacement was the cab driver who dropped you off at the theater." - Dan Jenkins

"Are you trying to get run over by a cab? Don't be ridiculous. We could never get a cab that easily in this neighborhood" - Cassandra Clare

"I am a trained, professional stunt driver. I'm a great driver." - Andrea Parker

"A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive." - Demetri Martin

"The living nightmare for a red state NASCAR driver would be a gay French driver." - Adam Mckay

"I've never seen myself as a 'girl driver.' I'm just a driver." - Danica Patrick

"From the cab stepped a tall old man. Black raincoat and hat and a battered valise. He paid the driver, then turned and stood motionless, staring at the house. The cab pulled away and rounded the corner of Thirty-sixty Street. Kinderman quickly pulled out to follow. As he turned the corner, he noticed that the tall old man hadn't moved but was standing under the streetlight glow, in mist, like a melancholy traveler frozen in time." - William Peter Blatty

"To me, God is like this happy bus driver." - Jerry Stahl

"I am not a driver, I am a racer." - Stirling Moss

"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." - Eric Kripke

"A designated driver helps you party another day." - Anonymous

"I have to accept risk as a racing driver." - Emerson Fittipaldi

"I'm from New York, so I'm not a big driver." - Dan Fogler

"I am like the little rock n' roll backseat driver." - Nina Blackwood

"My dad was a cross-country truck driver." - John Searles

"Entertainment can be a more powerful driver than poverty." - Sugata Mitra

"Pastor is a driver who doesn't respect other drivers." - Sergio Perez

"The driver is safer when the roads are dry; the roads are safer when the driver is dry." - Anonymous

"You don't get John Gotti to testify against his driver. You get the driver to testify against John Gotti." - Trey Gowdy

"New York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo. ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign."" - Jim Gaffigan

"At a certain drawing room in London... a guest approached Mr. Choate, who was in the conventional dress of the English waiter, and said, 'Call me a cab.' 'All right,' said Mr. Choate, 'if you wish it. You're a cab." - Joseph H. Choate

"You'd never think of taking a cab if you had to walk a mile down Chicago's Michigan Avenue. But in a bad city you take a cab just to go around the corner." - Helmut Jahn

"The Park Avenue of poodles and polished brass; it is cab country, tip-town, glassville, a window-washer's paradise." - Gay Talese

"On the day of the dinner of the Oystermongers' Company, what a noble speech I thought of in the cab!" - William Makepeace Thackeray

"Death Cab is a militantly analog band. We'll continue moving forward with our sound, but there will be no crossover." - Ben Gibbard

"I ca' stop traffic on Fifth Avenue, not unless I walk in front of an oncoming cab." - Benedict Cumberbatch

"[Of Clark Gable:] That man's ears make him look like a taxi-cab with both doors open." - Howard Hughes

"I'm like Cab Calloway: I love the entertainment, and I've loved entertaining people ever since I was little." - Wyclef Jean

"Now this is over thirty years later and the guy said he was that cab driver. He apologized and he was serious. I felt awful. He might have been spending his whole life thinking he had jinxed me, but I told him he hadn't. My number was up." - Joe Dimaggio

"Moving to Australia was not a career move, but a quality of life issue. It has no guns, no God, and no gangster rap. As an Ethiopian cab driver said to me the other day when I was returning from a gig in Sydney, Australia is a peaceful, democratic place. I like the relatively stress free lifestyle. It's worth the drop in income." - Franklyn Ajaye

"You ever say a phrase you say all the time at the wrong time, feel like a complete idiot? Something like, 'You, too. You, too.' I was getting out of the cab at the airport, and the driver goes, 'Hey, have a nice flight.' 'You, too. You, too. You have a nice flight, too - in case you ever fly some day." - Brian Regan

"I found a cab eventually, and told the driver in fluent English that I wanted Wenceslas Square. This request, I now know, is phonically identical to the Czech phrase for 'I am an air-brained tourist, please take everything I have'." - Hugh Laurie

"I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!" - Rodney Dangerfield

"Why can't a seven-foot guy play a doctor? Why can't I be a teacher? Why can't I be a football coach? Why can't I be a cab driver? Anything. Anything else than that. I can cry. I can do those things that they think the big guys can't do. So just give us a chance." - Grizz Chapman

"No, in Lethal Weapon I was a taxi cab driver that Mel jumps in front of the taxi and pulls me out of the car and steals the taxi. Then I did some other indie driving for some of the car sequences." - David R Ellis

"Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open. And then he has to step out and come around and close that door. And while he's doing that, I'm on the other side opening the other doors-and we just go around and around and around, and I got my own Benny Hill situation going on in life." - Hannibal Buress

"I've already done enough to have earned 'good driver,' so if I can be known as a great person and a good driver, that's better than only being a great driver." - Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

"A great race car driver in a bad car doesn't make great results. A great car and a bad race car driver doesn't make great results. You have to have both. It's the combination of driver and car." - Jeff Burton

"You think I'm a pretty good race car driver? Wait until you see my brother. He's the best driver in the family." - Kurt Busch

"If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?" - Steven Wright

"It's easy to be a backseat driver. It's even easier to be a backseat driver when you're not even in the same car." - Rick McCallum

"I've been taught from a young age to want to be the best driver... It was about being the best driver and not the best girl." - Danica Patrick

"I sometimes think it ironic for an ex-seaman, longshoreman, truck driver, policeman, bus driver, etc... to find success writing children's novels." - Brian Jacques

"I don't think there's any real motivation for somebody to be a truck driver. Mine was simple; dad was a truck driver, I wanted to own one." - Lindsay Fox

"I've been fined probably more than any driver, and I've probably paid it out of my own pocket more than any driver." - Kurt Busch

"I feel comfortable around every driver out there and each driver is in charge of their own car, but you feel very secure racing the competition out there." - Kurt Busch

"Reading is human contact, and the range of our human contacts is what makes us what we are. Just imagine you live the life of a long-distance truck driver. The books that you read are like the travelers you take into your cab. If you give lifts to people who are cultured and profound, you'll learn a lot from them. If you pick up fools, you'll turn into a fool yourself." - Victor Pelevin

"Today, we have a powerful military that serves as a deterrent, but the enemy we have today is not like World War II, where you sign a piece of paper and the war is over. Today they're not in uniform. In my time we knew what the enemy looked like, we knew his weapons systems and such. Today, your cab driver may be the person, you have no idea. I don't know how we got into this fix, but we're there." - Daniel Inouye

"Objectively, class differences in accent, dress, manners, and general style of life are very much smaller; and one cannot, strolling about the street or travelling on a train, instantly identify a person's social background as one can in England. Subjectively, social relations are more natural and egalitarian, and less marked by deference, submissiveness, or snobbery, as one quickly discovers from the cab-driver, the barman, the air-hostess and the drug-store assistant." - Anthony Crosland

"Being a cab river is not unlike being a magician-minus the top hat, the cape, the rabbit, an the gorgeous assistant. But you do have an audience." - Gary Reilly

"A railroad station? That was sort of a primitive airport, only you didn't have to take a cab 20 miles out of town to reach it." - Russell Baker

"I leaned on him for support when I got out of the cab, and he just crumpled to the ground. That's how we found out." - Mickey Mantle

"All these things that crib and cab in your brain, in your imagination, are in fact things that might well in later life drive you insane." - Diana Wynne Jones

"Yeah, I'll pay your cab fare home, you can even use my best cologne, just don't be here in the morning when I wake up." - Rod Stewart

"New York City in life was much like New York City in death. It was still hard to get a cab, for example." - Colson Whitehead

"In all my years of New York cab riding I have yet to find the colorful, philosophical cabdriver that keeps popping up on the late movies." - Jean Shepherd

"In New York City, a lot of people think 'the great outdoors' is the area between your front door and a taxi cab." - Michael Bloomberg

"Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away." - Holly Golightly

"I am not opposed to doing a side project, like Death Cab for Cutie, where it's completely different from my own band." - Ryan Tedder

"Picture it in your mind's nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting a defenseless pine-tree air freshener." - Sloane Crosley

"The silence of snow, thought the man sitting just behind the bus driver." - Orhan Pamuk

"The primary driver of final consumer demand is, of course, the level of disposable income." - Peter Dicken

"Alexander the Great and his mule driver both died and the same thing happened to both." - Marcus Aurelius

"When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver!" - Brene Brown

"It often takes more courage to be a passenger than a driver." - E L Konigsburg

"Quite frankly, Kimi Raikkonen is the fastest driver in the world" - Stirling Moss

"The rewards system is a powerful driver of behavior and therefore culture." - Lou Gerstner

"Just because you're sober, don't think you're a good driver, Cookie." - John Irving

"It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you." - Kin Hubbard

"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead." - Bill Mcglashen

"What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?" - Steve Aylett

"By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" - John Green

"Revenge is never the best driver for a battle, but a common one." - Janet Morris

"Gilles was the fastest driver in the history of motor racing" - Jody Scheckter

"I am a nice person. I care about my driver having lunch, you know ..." - Barbra Streisand

"Auto insurance is a toll bridge, over which every honest driver has to pass." - Jane Bryant Quinn

"The racing driver needs to be fed a diet of other racing drivers." - Carroll Smith

"Ukyo Katayama is undoubtedly the best Formula One driver that Grand Prix racing has ever produced" - Murray Walker

"Civility is only a passenger - not a driver - on the information superhighway." - Don Rittner

"It would be quite good to be a Formula 1 [racecar] driver." - Rupert Grint

"The builder of the best racing car is not necessarily its best driver." - Hans Selye

"I feel like I'm getting to be a better driver every day." - Jeff Gordon

"When the bus driver gets off the bus, who shuts the door?" - Bill Engvall

"I'm a big non-believer in manual driver and kernel configuration, be it visual or not." - Linus Torvalds

"I don't want to brag, but I'm a pretty good driver." - Piper Perabo

"Every taxi driver I have ever spoken to has a theory of gender." - Judith Butler

"I went back to bumming around New York, writing freelance stuff for Car & Driver and such." - P. J. O'Rourke

"Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver." - Woody Allen

"Many police officers watch for vehicles without headlights because it's a telltale of a drunk driver." - Robert James Thomson

"I wanted to be a truck driver. I love driving long distances!!!" - Karen Mason

"If you ask any driver about their first trip to New York, it's always crazy." - Daughn Gibson

"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world." - Rebecca West

"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead." - Mac McCleary

"You do not need to be the designated driver of someone's intoxicated ego." - Dodinsky

"DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave driver." - Ambrose Bierce

"The driver wanted Reacher more than he wanted an undamaged front bumper." - Lee Child

"Economics is a slave-driver. No one has free time; no one has any leisure." - James Hillman

"I don't see any possible excuse for any driver anywhere to endanger people." - Robert James Thomson

"My favorite driver is always either the bad guy or the underdog." - Bo Jackson

"As a driver, your target is always to be with the most competitive team possible." - Sebastian Vettel

"Indy makes the race driver. You become famous when you come here." - Rodger Ward

"I'm not a fast driver. I've seen what speed can do." - Carol Alt

"Every NASCAR driver watches Formula One in the morning; they are well informed." - Mario Andretti

"My driving, I've been accused of not being the best, most safest driver." - Matt Dillon

"I wrote probably my phattest banging record with Knife Party: 'Pile Driver.'" - Steve Aoki

"I do talk like a truck driver sometimes, or I curse. What can I say?" - Penny Marshall

"I would also would have liked the part of the Bus Driver." - Kevin Mcdonald

"Finding a good bus driver can be as important as finding a good musician." - Reba Mcentire

"Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead." - Tommy Bolt

"I thought I would be a go-kart mechanic - not an F1 driver" - Fernando Alonso

"I am a non discriminating driver. I want to kick everybody's ass!" - Greg Ray

"But I have a driver, so I can return calls while I'm in the car." - Donna Shalala

"'Taxi Driver' was one of the happiest moments of my career." - Cybill Shepherd

"David Bowie, for me, was the butchest guy in town. Jagger was like a truck driver." - Hedi Slimane

"From today I am no longer a racing driver. I'm retired and I am very happy." - Jackie Stewart

"I think I would rather be a prime minister than a taxi driver." - Jens Stoltenberg

"Our driver policy was partly dictated by who was available because of other contracts." - John Surtees

"Dad was a bus driver, and when he finished work he would repair cars." - Bruno Tonioli

"I'm not the greatest driver. I don't know if I'll ever master the art." - Naomie Harris

"I felt confident at 24, but I am a better driver now." - Jenson Button

"A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light." - Henry Morgan

"The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live." - Adam Carolla

"I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest. This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much." - Bill Hicks

"By being a racing driver means you are racing with other people. And if you no longer go for a gap that exists, you are no longer a racing driver because we are competing -competing to win." - Ayrton Senna

"To be a driver that can cross off one of those marquee events as a winner, that cements your legacy in motorsports, to be able to win the Daytona 500 is the ultimate dream of a race car driver." - Tony Stewart



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