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Birthday Wife Quotes


"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday." - Erma Bombeck

"God schedules a birthday, not man." - Robert A. Bradley

"I think there's something about the homemade birthday cake, because my wife, on my daughter's first birthday, started the tradition where she takes a full cake and cuts the number birthday out of it." - Willie Geist

"It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years." - Robert Orben

"It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."" - Frank Carson

"Wife: a former sweetheart." - H L Mencken

"Remember Lot's wife." - Bible

"Happy wife, happy life." - Paul Orfalea

"I love my wife." - Nonito Donaire

"Take my wife... Please!" - Henny Youngman

"I wanted Cathy and Irving to actually say 'I do' and be pronounced husband and wife on Feb. 5, which is my mom's birthday." - Cathy Guisewite

"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me." - Rodney Dangerfield

"Weeping bride, laughing wife, laughing bride, weeping wife." - Proverbs

"I timed my previous wife's pregnancy to the moment to have my son born on Bob Dylan's 50th birthday. There is no bigger Bob Dylan fan than me. You don't just time the day and impregnate your wife to get your kid to be born on Bob Dylan's 50th birthday." - Charlie Trotter

"Of course I didn't take my wife to see Rochdale as an anniversary present. It was her birthday and would I have got married during the football season? Anyway, it was Rochdale reserves." - Bill Shankly

"I saw Farrah Fawcett originally when she and her boyfriend, Lee Majors, came over to my house for a birthday party that I was having for my ex-wife, Leigh Taylor-Young." - Ryan O'Neal

"I saw Farrah Fawcett originally when she and her boyfriend, Lee Majors, came over to my house for a birthday party that I was having for my ex-wife, Leigh Taylor-Young." - Ryan Oneal

"On every birthday, I ask my wife, 'What would you like this year?' and her instant reply is, 'Diamonds! Diamonds! Diamonds!' I'm always living in hope that one day she'll say she just wants me!" - Akshay Kumar

"Happy Birthday, Mr Presidenttttt" - Marilyn Monroe

"My wife, the star I steer by." - David Mccullough

"Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife." - Euripides

"Grandfather Space. The Mind is his Wife" - Gary Snyder

"He that takes a wife, takes care" - Benjamin Franklin

"I've got more clothes than my wife." - Paul Burrell

"An obedient wife commands her husband." - Benjamin Disraeli

"Man and wife make one fool." - Ben Jonson

"I have to look to my wife." - Randy Travis

"Helpmate, n. A wife, or bitter half." - Ambrose Bierce

"Lord of yourself, uncumbered with a wife." - John Dryden

"Never paint your wife or your mother." - George W Bush

"My wife watches me like a hawk." - Carl Icahn

"I just want to be a wife." - Tessanne Chin

"A good husband makes a good wife." - John Florio

"My wife does wish I dressed better." - Sean Hannity

"My wife and I are very affectionate." - Tom Brady

"I'm not just a cuckolded wife." - Elizabeth Edwards

"I met my wife in South Dakota." - George Mcgovern

"On one of my birthdays I did 1,000 chin-ups and 1,000 push-ups. For my 70th birthday I towed 70 boats with 70 people in it, my feet and hands tied-my hands were in handcuffs, my feet were tied together-and I towed these boats a mile-and-a-half in Long Beach Harbor. For my 93rd birthday I'm going to tow my wife across the bathtub." - Jack Lalanne

"All I want for my birthday is another birthday." - Ian Dury

"The birthday of the Lord is the birthday of peace." - Pope Leo I

"I don't think so. Anyways, I don't spend money. My wife spends money...sorry wife." - Mikhail Grabovski

"In the husband wisedome, in the wife gentlenesse. [In the husband wisdom, in the wife gentleness.]" - George Herbert

"The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me." - Howard Nemerov

"I am steady with my wife. I'm faithful to my wife." - Ted Haggard

"The trophy wife must be in her 20s to earn the title 'trophy wife.'" - Marcia Gay Harden

"I still love my former wife, I won't call her my ex-wife." - Dave Pelzer

"Death smells like birthday cake." - Maggie Stiefvater

"One begins to realize that one is getting old when the birthday candles weigh more than the cake." - Bette Davis

"It's my birthday, Horus insisted. Wish me happy birthday! "Happy birthday!" I yelled. "Now shut up!" - Rick Riordan

"It's my birthday, Horus insisted. Wish me happy birthday! "Happy birthday!" I yelled. "Now shut up!" - Rick Riordan

"The first thing I did when I was forty years old, I put handcuffs on and I jumped off Alcatraz prison and swam to San Francisco handcuffed. That made national publicity. Then, there were three or four years where I would do more difficult feats. Another birthday I towed a thousand pound boat across the Golden Gate. On my 65th Birthday I towed 65 boats a mile and a half in Tokyo. On my 70th Birthday I towed 70 boats with 70 people in it with my feet and hands tied a mile and a half in Long Beach.... My next Birthday I will be 93. I'm gonna tow my wife across the bathtub." - Jack Lalanne

"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest." - Erma Bombeck

"Just short of my 40th birthday, I told my wife, Beth, I was going to build us a little weekend place in...well, in the uh, Southern Hemisphere. The deep Southern Hemisphere, actually. New Zealand, maybe. Or Argentina. Possibly Chile. She suggested medication." - Patrick Symmes

"I see 'Ahab's Wife' as offering an alternative vision to" - Moby

"I'm giving serious thought into eating yor wife" - Hannibal Lecter" - Thomas Harris

"... wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity." - Francis Bacon

"A man's tie should never be louder than his wife." - John Hughes

"I cannot see myself as a wife. Ugly word." - Greta Garbo

"I am his mistress. His work is his wife." - Marion Javits

"Obedience is the mother of success, the wife of safety." - Aeschylus

"I wont let a wife lead me to the altar." - Marcus Valerius Martial

"My wife is possessive and I like that" - Fawad Afzal Khan

"The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn't say." - Alfred Hitchcock

"I never get bored of my wife. It's lovely." - Alan Titchmarsh

"An undutiful daughter will prove an unmanageable wife." - Benjamin Franklin

"Teacher, tender comrade, wife, A fellow-farer true through life." - Robert Louis Stevenson

"How much the wife is dearer than the bride." - George Lyttelton, 1st Baron Lyttelton

"Chuse a horse made, and a wife to make." - George Herbert

"A good husband makes a good wife at any time." - George Farquhar

"My wife is beautiful but she can't run anything." - Arash

"Literature is a splendid mistress, but a bad wife." - Rudyard Kipling

"A man's best friend is a good wife." - Thomas A Edison

"Women love to hear a man defending their wife." - Geraldine Ferraro

"Definitely my wife and my kid [are my biggest inspiration]." - Donavon Frankenreiter

"I gained twenty pounds [during pregnancy of my wife]." - DJ Khaled

"My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea." - Milton Berle

"There was all the world and his wife." - Jonathan Swift

"I never knew a writer's wife who wasn't beautiful." - Kurt Vonnegut

"The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat." - Oliver Sacks

"No married man is ever attractive except to his wife." - Oscar Wilde

"This is the way to kill a wife with kindness." - William Shakespeare

"If the wife sins, the husband is not innocent." - Proverbs

"Choose your wife as you wish your children to be." - Proverbs

"A good wife and health is a mans best wealth." - Proverbs

"A wife is the earth itself, changing hands, bearing scars." - Barbara Kingsolver

"Cause my wife gets up and goes shopping." - James Garner

"My toughest fight was with my first wife." - Muhammad Ali

"My wife and I love each other very much." - Stephen Hawking

"Sometimes, a wife must do what her husband cannot." - Robert Jordan

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." - Milton Berle

"I'm on a search for my future ex-wife." - Richie Sambora

"I've got a great wife, a great life." - Pete Sampras

"In some ways, what I need is a wife." - Anne Beatts

"I'm very romantic, I'm extremely romantic. I date my wife." - Alice Cooper

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." - Henny Youngman

"My wife is a brilliant, hugely understanding person." - Jamie Dornan

"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't." - Victor Borge

"My wife and I always enjoy going for a jog" - Will Ferrell

"If you wish to ruin yourself, marry a rich wife." - Jules Michelet

"I don't get any money from my wife." - Kevin Federline

"After marriage, the other man's wife looks more beautiful." - Navjot Singh Sidhu

"Last year my wife got a Rolls-Royce." - Russell Simmons

"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal." - Woody Allen

"My wife bought an extra life insurance policy on me." - Willie Aames

"Choose a wife rather by your ear than your eye." - Thomas Fuller

"A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife." - Thomas Fuller

"I love my wife, she deserves anything and everything." - Aaron Spelling

"My wife taught me the importance of living well." - Robert Mondavi

"We have two kids, my wife and myself." - Thelonious Monk

"I trust my wife more than I trust myself." - Chris Paul

"Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best." - Kin Hubbard

"Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife." - P J Orourke

"A fishmonger's wife may feed of a conger; but a serving-man's wife may starve for hunger." - Anonymous

"My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea." - Henny Youngman

"A wise man in his house should find a wife gentle and courteous, or no wife at all." - Euripides

"I wished my wife to be not so much as suspected. Common traditional saying: Caesar's wife must be above suspicion." - Julius Caesar

"It is on this beautiful day that we celebrate the Fuhrers birthday and thank him for he is the only reason why Germany is still alive today" - Joseph Goebbels

"Happy Birthday!' I yelled, 'Now, shut up!" - Rick Riordan

"For my birthday, buy me a politician!" - Ice Cube

"hope your birthday is hot hot hot" - Jeff Kinney

"New Year's Day is every man's birthday." - Charles Lamb

"I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit." - Amanda Seyfried

"I left school on my 15th birthday." - David Bailey

"A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted." - R. K. Milholland

"A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted." - Randy K. Milholland

"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." - Henny Youngman

"The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church. And the wife is there to bless and support and help him." - Elisabeth Elliot

"My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world." - Bill Engvall

"They are not said to be husband and wife, who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies." - Guru Amar Das

"The unhappiness of a wife with a good husband is much more devastating than the unhappiness of a wife with a bad husband." - D H Lawrence

"A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life." - Jim Samuels

"Duran always disturbs me. The guy is just weird. Before our first fight, both Duran and his wife gave my wife the finger." - Sugar Ray Leonard

"It's my birthday, I'll get high if I want to." - Drake

"The last birthday that's any good is 23." - Andy Rooney

"When is man strong until he feels alone? Colombe's Birthday" - Robert Browning

"My favorite holiday is my birthday-it's very Leo." - Jennifer Lopez

"I wish people would stop talking about my birthday." - George Bernard Shaw

"Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!" - Jerry Lawler

"Jakie, is it my birthday or am I dying ?" - Nancy Astor

"The birthday of a new world is at hand." - Thomas Paine

"Our pleasures in literature do not, I think, decline with age; last 1st of January was my eighty-second birthday, and I think that I had as much enjoyment from books as I ever had in my life." - Maria Edgeworth

"On Father's Day, we again wish you all happy birthday." - Ralph Kiner

"You know you're a skydiver when you don't remember your anniversary or your mother's birthday, but you know down to the second how much accumulated free fall time you have." - Anonymous

"They gave it me,-for an un-birthday present." - Lewis Carroll

"What do you mean - Happy anniversary? It's not my birthday." - Peter Greenaway

"Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire." - Rodney Dangerfield

"I like working on my birthday, so I always do." - Abhishek Bachchan

"I love having my birthday at Australia Zoo." - Bindi Irwin

"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn

"I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been." - Lewis Black



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