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Bad Wife Quotes


"One thing my wife says is bad about me is that I still care too much." - Aaron Spelling

"A man never has good luck who has a bad wife." - Henry Ward Beecher

"A man cannot possess anything that is better than a good wife, or anything that is worse than a bad one." - Simonides of Ceos

"The weather's cold. My club's bad. My knee hurts. I can't putt no more. I'm off my diet. My wife is nagging me. Other than that, everything's great." - Don Zimmer

"In adopting the republican form of government, I not only took it as a man does his wife, for better, for worse, but, what few men do with their wives, I took it knowing all its bad qualities." - Gouverneur Morris

"Literature is a splendid mistress, but a bad wife." - Rudyard Kipling

"Wife: a former sweetheart." - H L Mencken

"Bad beginnings, bad endings." - Livy

"My wife gives good headache." - Rodney Dangerfield

"Writers are funny about reviews: when they get a good one they ignore it- but when they get a bad review they never forget it. Every writer I know is the same way: you get a hundred good reviews, and one bad, andyou remember only the bad. For years, you go on and fantasize about the reviewer who didn't like your book; you imagine him as a jerk, a wife-beater, a real ogre. And, in the meantime, the reviewer has forgotten all about the whole thing. But, twenty years later, the writer still remembers that one bad review." - Art Buchwald

"Is it not so that a son what is bad to his mother is bad to his wife?" - Betty Smith

"I always think before an important shot: What is the worst that can happen on this shot? I can whiff it, shank it, or hit it out-of-bounds. But even if one of those bad things happens, I've got a little money in the bank, my wife still loves me, and my dog won't bite me when I come home." - Cary Middlecoff

"My wife Elizabeth and I started The Really Terrible Orchestra for people like us who are pretty hopeless musicians who would like to play in an orchestra. It has been a great success. We give performances; weve become the most famous bad orchestra in the world." - Alexander Mccall Smith

"Years later, my wife, Ilusion, woke me up to the realization that you can't just "dump" your whole species simply because you've had a few bad encounters with some of its members. ... Intimacy's a greater goal to seek. ...That true knowledge of intimacy within our own species will allow us to pass it along to interspecies relations." - Cesar Millan

"I suppose really I was a wife, a mother and a business woman, and then suddenly catapulted into this kind of world of craziness where it's... there's good sides and there's bad sides...I wouldn't kind of turn the clock back and take another direction." - Lisa Vanderpump

"Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion." - Rodney Dangerfield

"My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park." - Jay Leno

"One thing my wife says is bad about me, is that I still care too much." - Aaron Spelling

"Bad laws make bad customs." - Jane Aiken Hodge

"Bad beliefs make bad behavior." - Warren Akin Candler

"The unhappiness of a wife with a good husband is much more devastating than the unhappiness of a wife with a bad husband." - D H Lawrence

"When people meet my wife they think better of me. They say: "With a wife like that, he can't be as bad as we thought"." - Robert Menzies

"My wife, the star I steer by." - David Mccullough

"My wife drives a couple of Cadillacs." - Mitt Romney

"He was screaming like my wife." - Mike Tyson

"Golf is tougher than my first wife." - Ken Green

"I'm not witch. I'm your wife." - William Goldman

"Be my wife, all my life." - Jodi Thomas

"Like your job. Love your wife." - John Candy

"Caesar's wife should be above suspicion." - John Langhorne

"The husband provides direction; the wife, maintenance." - Myles Munroe

"I misled people, including even my wife" - William J Clinton

"Of earth's goods, the best is a good wife; a bad, the bitterest curse of human life." - Simonides of Ceos

"My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves." - Rodney Dangerfield

"I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not." - Woody Allen

"For a man wins nothing better than a good wife, and then again nothing deadlier than a bad one." - Hesiod

"There's quite a lot of bad stuff written about me. My wife even says a lot of bad stuff about me. But she is wonderful." - Michael Caine

"I don't think so. Anyways, I don't spend money. My wife spends money...sorry wife." - Mikhail Grabovski

"Gorillaz virtually changed my wife...sorry, I mean,, actually, it was my wife." - Terry Gilliam

"Bad moments don't make bad mommas." - Lysa TerKeurst

"Bad thoughts quickly ripen into bad actions." - Beilby Porteus

"All bayonets are bad." - W. S. Gilbert

"My first wife didn't like to fly, either." - Gordon Baxter

"Wife-Mother-Actress-Author The world will remember." - Eve Arden

"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it." - Winston Churchill

"I see 'Ahab's Wife' as offering an alternative vision to" - Moby

"Man and wife, Coupled together for the sake of strife." - Charles Churchill

"Do not desire your neighbor's wife in vain." - Julian Tuwim

"He that takes not up a pin, slights his wife." - George Herbert

"Hee that hath a wife and children wants not businesse." - George Herbert

"Hee that tells his wife newes is but newly married." - George Herbert

"I just keep pinching myself that that's my wife." - Orlando Bloom

"I watch a romcom only when my wife drags me" - Emraan Hashmi

"To my wife 'I told you I was sick'." - Lou Holtz

"The wife is the key of the house." - George Herbert

"My wife (Maria) is the best reason to come home." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"It needs a cold wife to prompt lechery." - Elizabeth Proctor

"Man and wife, being two, are one in love." - William Shakespeare

"I want my next girlfriend to be my wife." - Daniel Matsunaga

"Procreative power & priesthood power are shared by husband & wife" - M Russell Ballard

"A virtuous wife commands her husband by obeying him." - Publilius Syrus

"I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife." - David Feherty

"Forty percent of my ideas came from my wife." - Mike Royer

"I only fear God, and my wife - sometimes." - Lech Walesa

"Several girlfriends are easier to handle than one wife." - Hugh Hefner

"I'm giving serious thought into eating yor wife" - Hannibal Lecter" - Thomas Harris

"I have always tried to teach my players to be fighters. When I say that, I don't mean put up your dukes and get in a fistfight over something. I'm talking about facing adversity in your life. There is not a person alive who isn't going to have some awfully bad days in their lives. I tell my players that what I mean by fighting is when your house burns down, and your wife runs off with the drummer, and you've lost your job and all the odds are against you. What are you going to do? Most people just lay down and quit. Well, I want my people to fight back." - Bear Bryant

"Next-door a baker's apprentice with his wife, an employee in a printing-shop, she has inflammation of the ovaries. Wonder what those two get out of life? Well, first of all, they get each other, then last Sunday a vaudeville and a film, then this or that club meeting and a visit to his parents. Nothing else? Well now, don't drop dead, sir. Add to that nice weather, bad weather, country picnics, standing in front of the stove, eating breakfast and so on. And what more do you get, you, captain, general, jockey, whoever you are? Don't fool yourself." - Alfred Doblin

"The symphony orchestra had played poorly, so the conductor was in a bad mood. That night he beat his wife-because the music hadn't been beautiful enough." - George Carlin

"For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal." - Woody Allen

"In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife." - Spike Milligan

"The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny." - Ray Romano

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates

"I guess you could say I have bad taste in men. But I no longer feel the need to be someone's wife." - Halle Berry

"I want my wife and children to travel always with me and share good things and bad things. That's what the family is for." - Marcello Giordani

"If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you!" - Winston Churchill

"Eccentricity may be diverting, Mama, but it is out of place in a wife: certainly in my wife!" - Georgette Heyer

"Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband." - Paul the Apostle

"Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst." - C S Lewis

"Bad marriages don't cause infidelity; infidelity causes bad marriages." - Frank Pittman

"A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing." - Payne Stewart

"Bad taste is a species of bad morals." - Christian Nestell Bovee

"Breathe. It's only a bad day not a bad life." - Ashley Purdy

"Be bad, and if you can't be bad be worse." - Tobsha Learner

"Bad decisions made with good intentions, are still bad decisions." - James C Collins

"Roe v. Wade was bad law and bad medical science," - Fred Thompson

"Bad shooters are always open" - Pete Carril

"They really are bad shots." - Charles De Gaulle

"Bad leadership is an oxymoron." - Joseph C. Rost

"Great spenders are bad lenders." - Benjamin Franklin

"Every family has bad memories." - Mario Puzo

"He needed a woman. Bad." - Linda Howard

"Hunger never saw bad bread." - Benjamin Franklin

"Bad company ruins good morals." - Paul the Apostle

"Don't sell on bad news." - Walter Schloss

"Bad gains are true losses." - Benjamin Franklin

"Sad company is bad company." - Milan Kundera

"Fish recognize a bad leader." - Conan O'Brien

"Anger is a bad counselor." - Proverbs

"Good people can do bad things, make bad decisions. It doesn't make them bad people." - Sonia

"Bad books engender bad habits, but bad habits engender good books." - Rene Descartes

"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords." - George Carlin

"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." - Henny Youngman

"A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life." - Woody Allen

"She's my wife, not my girlfriend. Maybe for her it is better. For me, she's still the same girl, just my wife" - Nikolay Davydenko

"I enjoy going back and forth between plays and novels. It`s like having a wife and a mistress. Books are the wife; plays, the mistress." - Stephen King

"Who letts his wife goe to every feast, and his horse drinke at every water, shall neither have good wife nor good horse." - George Herbert

"Sharon Stone has the kind of face I'd leave my wife for. Since I'm not married, I'll have to leave someone else's wife." - Buck Henry

"I believe that because I had obtained a wife who was made up of wife-signs (beauty, charm, softness, perfume, cookery) I had found love." - Donald Barthelme

"I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead" - Jeff Foxworthy

"By all implies marry if you get a great wife/husband, you are going to be pleased. If you get a bad a single, you are going to become a philosopher." - Socrates

"I like to remember what I have to be thankful for. When it gets bad, I usually list them out loud to my wife and myself. Helps me maintain a balanced perspective." - Allen Evangelista

"No greater evil can a man endure Than a bad wife, nor find a greater good Than one both good and wise; and each man speaks As judging by the experience of his life." - Sophocles

"I like it in Manchester. I thought it was going to be much colder, but it is not too bad. And my wife and son are happy here, too." - Sergio Aguero

"A Saudi Arabian prince has said that oil may never again rise above $100 a barrel. He said it's gotten so bad he can't afford to buy his wife her own car that she's not allowed to drive." - Conan O'Brien

"I live in a state of hypersensitivity, and I've always had this feeling that something bad is going to happen to myself, or my wife and children. This manifests itself in different fears and visions." - Paddy Considine

"It was at a vividly bad time in Norman Mailer's life that I met him, and a sort of water-treading time in mine. He had stabbed his wife, and I was a copy boy at Time magazine." - Dick Cavett

"Usually action films have a formula: good guy gets in trouble, his wife dies, friends have problems, so he goes to the mountain, learns martial arts, comes back, and kills the bad guy." - Jet Li

"I would like to thank the incomparable William H. Macy for taking a chunky 22-year-old with a bad perm and glasses out into a cow pasture and kissing me and making me his wife." - Felicity Huffman

"I was seeing a lot of really good things about Get Shorty when it came out, and my wife pointed out that if you validate the good reviews, you also have to validate the bad reviews." - Barry Sonnenfeld

"The first time I was cooking for my wife, Stephanie, way before she was my wife, I actually put three chickens on the rotisserie and I closed the grill, which is really a bad idea. But I just wasn't thinking very straight that day. And I looked outside and I saw, like, smoke and flames." - Bobby Flay

"I like writing books. I'd rather be at home with my wife. I can write, take a break, come out, have a glass of tea, give my wife a kiss, and go back in and write some more. It's not so bad. I am really lucky." - Gene Wilder

"A preacher who doesn't believe he's that bad will attract people who don't think they're that bad. And that's bad." - Tullian Tchividjian

"My sight is bad, my hearing is bad, I feel bad, but I don't suffer, I don't complain." - Jeanne Calment

"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." - Oscar Wilde

"To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation." - E W Howe

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"No man should have a secret from his wife. She invariably finds it out." - Oscar Wilde

"My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday." - Rodney Dangerfield

"A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife." - Dan Jenkins

"Every time I see you naked, I feel sorry for your wife." - Jaromir Jagr

"My former wife made me a millionaire. I used to have three million dollars." - Bobby Hull

"A wife loves out of duty, and duty leads to constraint, and constraint kills desire." - Jean Giraudoux

"I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap." - Bob Monkhouse

"He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife." - Bob Phillips

"My wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money!" - Eddie Murphy

"My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat." - Henny Youngman

"The new-come stepmother hates the children born to a first wife." - Euripides

"Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses." - Hector Hugh Munro

"Body and mind, like man and wife, do not always agree to die together." - Charles Caleb Colton

"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife." - Mike Greenwell

"The second duty of the wife is constant obedience and subjection." - John Dod

"I regard England as my wife and America as my mistress." - Cedric Hardwicke

"But one on earth is better than the wife; that is the mother." - Leopold Schefer

"Anyone could write a novel given six weeks, pen paper, and no telephone or wife." - Evelyn Waugh

"In 1956 I was granted the biggest reward of my career: my wife, Josee Jongen." - Bobbejaan Schoepen

"A man who sacrifices for his wife and serves her becomes much more attractive to her." - Jimmy Evans

"My wife likes the hockey smell because its the smell of a warrior." - David Walton

"Anything a wife should do, I'm terrible at. Anything a mistress should do, I'll try." - Tori Amos

"Happy is that family where both the husband and wife are mutual members of Christ's body" - William Gouge



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