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Bacon Quotes

RELATED QUOTES

"Canadian bacon isn't bacon. It's ham." - Bill Maher

"Bacon improved things dramatically." - Kristin Cashore

"Nothing burps better than bacon." - Ed O'Neill

"Today's pig is tomorrows bacon!" - Hunter S Thompson

"I only eat bacon socially." - Gina Barberi

"I hope your bacon burns." - Diana Wynne Jones

"Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs." - Mark Twain

"I'm happier than a pig eating bacon!" - Daniel Handler

"I'm happier than a pig eating bacon!" - Daniel Handler

"Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals." - Homer

"But whoever heard of enchanted bacon anyway?" - Diana Wynne Jones

"Never fry bacon when you're naked." - Richard Jeni

"Let us fly and save our bacon." - Francois Rabelais

"You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon." - Jim Gaffigan

"I didn't eat pork either. Except bacon, of course. Everyone eats bacon." - Tarryn Fisher

"In Texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks...MACHINE-GUN BACON." - Ted Cruz

"The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters." - Nick Offerman

"I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon." - Nick Offerman

"If I'm feeling crazy, I'll make some bacon because I'm obsessed with bacon." - Devon Windsor

"Bacon. Crispy. Salty. I could just eat a mountain of bacon for breakfast; it's so delicious." - Willie Geist

"Where you thinke there is bacon, there is no Chimney." - George Herbert

"Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon." - Jasper Fforde

"Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert." - George Takei

"The only thing more enjoyable than chocolate, is bacon." - Jeffrey Steingarten

"Lord Bacon makes beauty to consist of grace and motion." - Mary Wortley Montagu

"There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon." - Jim Gaffigan

"I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees" - Matt Groening

"I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing." - Chelsea Handler

"We smoke the bacon so you don't have to." - Scott Adams

"I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators." - Jim Gaffigan

"I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon." - Jim Gaffigan

"I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon." - Jane Velezmitchell

"In Newport, we serve cheese or bacon-wrapped water chestnuts." - Marjorie Gubelmann

"I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon." - David Lynch

"Bacon. Let's talk about bacon. There's no meat more glorious than bacon. You can add it to pasta instead of cheese. You can stick it in a sandwich, er... instead of cheese." - Rob Manuel

"I always use my 'Holy Trinity' which is salt, olive oil and bacon. My motto is, 'bacon always makes it better.' I try to use bacon and pork products whenever it can." - Anne Burrell

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon." - Justin Halpern

"I always wanted to do a B&E. Not bacon and eggs. Although I could always go for bacon and eggs. I'm talking about breaking in and entering." - Dane Cook

"Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon." - Bryan Lee O'Malley

"Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community." - Jim Gaffigan

"Slap some bacon on a biscuit and let's go! We're burnin' daylight!" - John Wayne

"If the waitress comes, order me a coffee and something that involves bacon." - Maggie Stiefvater

"Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!" - Diana Wynne Jones

"When life hands you lemons - SQUAT! Squats make everything better. And if squats don't, bacon will" - Anna Lee

"Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell." - George Carlin

"Love is when you fry the other person's bacon even if you're a vegetarian." - Patricia Nell Warren

"Books, says my lord Bacon, should have no patrons but truth and reason." - Charles Caleb Colton

"The World to Bacon does not only owe it's present knowledge, but its future too." - John Dryden

"Impatient people, according to Bacon, are like the bees, and kill themselves in stinging others." - George Eliot

"What is the one thing that 43% of men prefer over sex? Bacon!" - Jon Taffer

"Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend - fudge." - Homer

"When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president." - Louis C K

"I have never regretted Paradise Lost since I discovered that it contained no eggs-and-bacon." - Dorothy L Sayers

"I was so embarrassed I could feel my nerves curling like bacon over a hot fire." - Margaret Halsey

"Bacon's the best. Even the frying of bacon sounds like applause." - Jim Gaffigan

"Culture is the possibility and impossibility that bacon and fruit can appear on the same plate." - Andy Hargreaves

"I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?" - David Letterman

"Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would..." - Greg Behrendt

"Lord Bacon could as easily have created the planets as he could have written Hamlet." - Thomas Carlyle

"I hate bacon. Everyone thinks I'm insane... maybe I am. I don't like it at all." - Jillian Rose Reed

"I love bacon, but I don't think we need it on everything." - Anthony Bourdain

"The great secretary of Nature and all learning, Sir Francis Bacon." - Izaak Walton

"If parts allure thee, think how Bacon shined, The wisest, brightest, meanest of mankind." - Alexander Pope

"Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."" - Jim Gaffigan

"When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause." - Jim Gaffigan

"Better beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear." - Aesop

"At 'Women's Wear', I always said, 'Get it first - get the bacon.'" - John Fairchild

"I'm not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it's incredibly delicious." - Gwyneth Paltrow

"Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon." - Tom Robbins

"Well, of all the bacon-brained, sapskulled, squirish, buffle-headed nodcocks!" - Patricia C. Wrede

"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson

"Francis Bacon is one of my giant inspirations. I just love him to pieces." - David Lynch

"I think maybe Mr. Sinise and Mr. Bacon have slightly bigger egos than I do." - Eric Roberts

"I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world." - Katy Perry

"Bacon is like a good pair of Levi's-it never goes out of style." - Michael Symon

"We must start human society from scratch; as Francis Bacon said, we must recreate human understanding." - Nicolas Chamfort

"Meek young men grow up in libraries, believing it their duty to accept the views which Cicero, which Locke, which Bacon, have given, forgetful that Cicero, Locke, and Bacon were only young men in libraries, when they wrote these books." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Danzhol. The one with the marriage proposal and the objections to the town charter in central Monsea. "Bacon," Bitterblue muttered. "Bacon!" she repeated, then carefully made her way up the spiral stairs." - Kristin Cashore

"Perfume companies ought to bottle the smell of crisp bacon. Forget pheromones. I'll bet a woman with a little spot of bacon grease behind her ears would attract every male within a five-mile radius." - Blaize Clement

"The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form. The wolf thought bacon form was a very sensible way for pigs to behave." - Vivian Vande Velde

"Perfume companies ought to bottle the smell of crisp bacon. Forget pheromones. I"ll bet a woman with a little spot of bacon grease behind her ears would attract every male within a five-mile radius." - Blaize Clement

"It's best not to experiment on yourself. Bacon practically froze himself to death in one of his experiments and died of pneumonia." {Right! Bacon must be heated. Knew that already, but thanks for the reminder.}" - Kevin Hearne

"It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!" - Lewis Black

"Once you put bacon in a salad, it's no longer a salad. It just becomes a game of 'find the bacon in the lettuce'. It's like you're panning for gold. Eureka!" - Jim Gaffigan

"It's best not to experiment on yourself. Bacon practically froze himself to death in one of his experiments and died of pneumonia." {Right! Bacon must be heated. Knew that already, but thanks for the reminder.}" - Kevin Hearne

"It's not just that I love bacon so much; I feel like something about bacon reflects my personality. It's salty and it's bad for you and it's delicious. I just love it so f - ing much, that's why." - Cara Delevingne

"Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less." - Bill Maher

"Meek young men grow up in libraries, believing it their duty to accept the views, which Cicero, which Locke, which Bacon, have given, forgetful that Cicero, Locke, and Bacon were only young men in libraries, when they wrote these books." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Onions and bacon cooking up just makes your kitchen smell so good. In fact, one day I'm going to come up with a room deodorizer that smells like bacon and onions. It's a fabulous smell." - Paula Deen

"There's the Bacon society, which is fostered by his fourth wife Helen Bacon, but I don't know what kind of performances his music gets. He wrote symphonic music and some chorale music." - Carlisle Floyd

"Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make this other food taste good, so I'll throw in bacon.'" - Penn Jillette

"When you have bacon and eggs for breakfast, the chicken makes a contribution, the pig makes a commitment." - Fred Shero

"In the name of Bacon will you chicken me up that egg. Shall I swallow cave-phantoms?" - Samuel Beckett

"Then Maura made something with butter and Calla made something with bacon and Blue steamed broccoli in self-defense." - Maggie Stiefvater

"I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise." - Janet Evanovich

"Bacon is throughout, and especially in his essays, one of the most suggestive authors who ever wrote." - Richard Whately

"It specifically says in the Torah that you can eat shrimp and bacon in a Chinese restaurant." - Jason Alexander

"Let's see, for breakfast Rickey will have bacon and eggs, and grits if I can get 'em." - Rickey Henderson

"And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs." - Ogden Nash

"As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it." - Rush Limbaugh

"I realized that Judaism required me to give up something that meant too much to me...Bacon cheeseburgers." - Shawnee Smith

"My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things. Let's stay out of the bacon market! It says It looks and tastes like real bacon! No it doesn't! It tastes like somebody bacon-flavored a turd, that's what it tastes like!" - Bill Engvall

"Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?" - Jim Gaffigan

"Many count their chickens before they are hatched; and where they expect bacon, meet with broken bones." - Miguel De Cervantes

"If deep-frying catfish, try a dredge of seasoned flour and cornmeal and add some bacon fat to the oil." - Tom Douglas

"Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease." - Michelle Malkin

"The perfect bacon sandwich is on white bread, very soft and very thick. Sourdough with a good crust. The bacon is half way to being crispy - and there's lots of it - and enough brown sauce to trickle down your arm. You've not really enjoyed a bacon sandwich unless 10 minutes later you're still licking your wrists." - Howard Jacobson

"Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound." - Charles Caleb Colton

"All those years and their moments- Crackling bacon, slamming car doors, Poems tried out on friends, Will be one more archive, One more shaky text." - Gary Snyder

"I see a lot of people use the Paleo diet as an excuse to eat bacon for every meal. That's a bit much." - Chris Mohr

"Lord Bacon told Sir Edward Coke when he was boasting, The less you speak of your greatness, the more shall I think of it." - William Shakespeare

"Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt." - Alton Brown

"When I see bacon, I see a pig, I see a little friend, and that's why I can't eat it. Simple as that." - Paul Mccartney

"People talk about me as masculine. Because of the way I walk and talk and crank out pull-ups and smell like bacon." - Benjamin Percy

"But if We have such another victory, we are undone.[Pyrrhus - [attributed to him by Bacon]} Victory, with advantage, is rather robbed than purchased." - Philip Sidney

"I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon." - Bill Hirst

"A chine of honest bacon would please my appetite more than all the marrow-puddings, for I like them better plain, having a very vulgar stomach." - John Dryden

"If parts allure thee, think how Bacon shin'd, The wisest, brightest, meanest of mankind: Or, ravish'd with the whistling of a name, See Cromwell, damn'd to everlasting fame." - Alexander Pope

"When I see a paragraph shrinking under my eyes like a strip of bacon in a skillet, I know I'm on the right track." - Peter De Vries

"The path to obesity is paved with bacon and white bread; the way to skinny is built on apples and Ezekiel." - Bob Harper

"When you're in my house you shall do as I do and believe who I believe in. So Bart butter your bacon." - Homer

"I order various types of breakfast and lunches. I do not just come in and order hamburgers all the time. I order the specials, pancakes, bacon and eggs." - John Brady

"[...] any fool can make a discovery. Every baby has to discover more in the first years of its life than Roger Bacon ever discovered in his laboratory." - George Bernard Shaw

"A couple of flitches of bacon are worth fifty thousand Methodist sermons and religious tracts. They are great softeners of temper and promoters of domestic harmony." - William Cobbett

"But since he stood for England And knew what England means, Unless you give him bacon You must not give him beans." - Gilbert K Chesterton

"He describes it as a large apartment, with a red brick floor and a capacious chimney; the ceiling garnished with hams, sides of bacon, and ropes of onions." - Charles Dickens

"In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added." - H L Mencken

"The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig." - Ogden Nash

"See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!" "Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!" - Rachel Caine

"If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry." - Stephen Colbert

"Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?" - Ogden Nash

"The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead." - Michael Ian Black

"I love Francis Bacon. I just saw a great Jackson Pollock exhibit at the Dallas Museum when I was home for Thanksgiving." - Owen Wilson

"Breakfast had been prepared by the kitchen maid, an indifferent performer who had used the scorched earth policy on the bacon again." - P G Wodehouse

"Christopher Marlowe or Francis Bacon The author of Lear remains unshaken Willie Herbert or Mary Fitton What does it matter? The Sonnets were written." - Noel Coward

"You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie." - Jim Gaffigan

"Nothing is quite as intoxicating as the smell of bacon frying in the morning, save perhaps the smell of coffee brewing." - James Beard

"I've long said that if I were about to be executed and were given a choice of my last meal, it would be bacon and eggs. There are few sights that appeal to me more than the streaks of lean and fat in a good side of bacon, or the lovely round of pinkish meat framed in delicate white fat that is Canadian bacon. Nothing is quite as intoxicating as the smell of bacon frying in the morning, save perhaps the smell of coffee brewing." - James Beard

"I"ve long said that if I were about to be executed and were given a choice of my last meal, it would be bacon and eggs." - James Beard

"If parts allure thee, think how Bacon shined, The wisest, brightest, meanest of mankind: Or, ravished with the whistling of a name, See Cromwell damned to everlasting fame." - Alexander Pope

"Christopher Marlowe or Francis Bacon The author of Lear remains unshaken Willie Herbert or Mary Fitton What does it matter? The Sonnets were written." - Noel Coward

"You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke." - Bernie Mac

"You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash." - Nick Offerman

"Various different people have inspired me throughout my career. From Francis Bacon to Vassareli, Coco Chanel to Christian Dior, Cecil Beaton, musicians, architects... the list is endless." - Dries Van Noten

"I met Evan Rachel Wood, James Woods, Kevin Bacon at Sundance. Steve Buscemi is pretty laid-back. I met Judy Greer in Vegas, and she was cool." - Mark Zupan

"I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not, it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life." - James M Barrie

"When I criticize Joseph Beuys or Francis Bacon, nobody calls those opinions anti-male. Putting female artists or their subject matter off-limits is itself sexist and limiting." - Jerry Saltz

"I eat fish and love bacon. Plus, I don't mind if soups are made with chicken or beef stock, I just don't like eating big pieces of meat." - Lisa Loeb

"My songs are my hookers. I can't worry about how they are going to be treated; they just need to bring home the bacon." - Ester Dean

"I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast." - Liz Phair



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Bacon, Francis Bacon, Lord Bacon,